


something just like this

by aheadfullofdreams89



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Coffee Shop, Dealing with Consequences, Detective Connor, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Explicit Language, F/M, Father-Son Relationship, First Date, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Getting to Know Each Other, Hurt/Comfort, Implied Sexual Content, Meet-Cute, Not for the weak, Past Infidelity, Shower Sex, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Vaginal Sex, Violence, Whump, Whump!Connor, boy meets girl, everybody needs a hug, not-date, quiet moments, reader - Freeform, shameless fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-10
Updated: 2020-11-07
Packaged: 2020-12-07 17:41:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 74,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20979815
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aheadfullofdreams89/pseuds/aheadfullofdreams89
Summary: Set a few months after the events of the game.In a world that's drastically changing everybody has problems of their own, inner and outer demons to keep at bay.But the best things in life happen when you least expect them. So on an especially bad day you find something you didn't even know you were looking for.In which Connor realizes that sometimes being able to feel was a heavy burden. But at the same time it the best thing he has ever experienced. If only he could leave his past behind once and for all.(Robot)boi meets girl. Fluff and angst ensue.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WIP, so I have no idea where all of this is going, tags will be added along the way, and rating might change.
> 
> Not beta’d. Sorry for any spelling mistakes that might still be there. I know there are a lot. Found some of them but didn't correct yet. I hope this won't kill the fun for you and you still enjoy it!
> 
> Please feel free to let me know what you think. :)

Autumn, 2039:  
It had been almost a year since the Revolution of Detroit had taken place, jumbled all of what people thought was true: androids just consisting of code, metal and wires with no mind of their own. Markus and all deviants had proved them wrong. That they were not just unfeeling machines to obey every order, doing the humans dirty work. That they were not objects to be bossed around just for the fun of it. They were perfectly able to feel emotions as any human being.  
Markus had started to negotiate with the humans about the changing of their rights, adjusting the laws so everyone could be happy with the outcome. He was a good leader, fair and determined. There was even talk of naming a part of town, where most of the population were androids, "New Jericho" as a sign of respect for his peaceful protests against the violent actions of their former masters.  
It had taken a while to get through to the right people, earning approval among the high ranks of society and finding companions to support him on his way but he had found them eventually and made good use of his ability to convince people and overthink their actions. Laws were gradually passed, restrictions made and rights granted.   
Things seemed to calm down, suspicion still there but quieting down slowly.  
Androids were allowed to work, own a place of their own and live as normally as was possible. They had come a long way, but it was not yet the end of the road. Not by a long shot.

*****

Connor had taken the first chance to work at the DPD alongside Hank when it was finally authorized by the government and was a "real" detective now. There had been a few weeks of idle-running when CyberLife had offically decommissioned him, fully knowing they had lost him and his loyalty after analyzing the last protocols that he had tranferred to their servers. They knew about the backdoor in his program now and how they would never be able to regain control of their created-to-go-deviant-prototype anymore. Getting outwitted by the troubleshooter designed to eliminate the threat to strengthen their market value was a hard punch to the face for the management board. Media was running wild once the word got out, humanity realizing that their machines were indeed alive. CyberLife was almost closed and shutdown for good when Kamski walked onto the stage, offering advice, money and a new strategy. Not without a secret hidden agenda of course. His true motives were yet to be revealed. But the CyberLife Tower still stood and shined so he had to have done something right.  
Connor, taking the desk across from Hank now permantly, filling it with a touch of his own (putting up a picture of Hank, Sumo and him mostly) was one of the most efficient detectives in the precinct. Fowler knew that, knew him. That was why he had agreed so fast on employing him without a second thought.  
He had a high rate of solved cases, sharp-witted and analytical as he was, he found great fulfillment in his job among humans. Still, he was regarded rather curiously by some of his colleagues and superiors. Gavin still was a pain in the ass most days having learned nothing from their encounter in the evidence locker. But Connor could defend himself, he was not restricted anymore as he was then and if one word got the other he would know how to push back. Politely.

Outside the precinct things would play out a little differently.  
Connor had decided to keep the LED on his temple for now which made him a target for anti-android-rants from anyone who cared to open their mouth and let loose of their frustration. The situation had gotten worse, underemployment rising again now that so many androids had come to life in one night. And they did not want just any job anymore, they wanted to be able to decide for themselves which company or which position they wanted to work in. Just like any human would regarding their abilties and interests. Which left a nasty taste in the mouths of the ones already enraged, regardless which social class they belonged to. Androids being the superior of a human? A better wage? More resposibility? Unthinkable! Against nature! It was horrible, many riots and violent demonstrations had taken place across the country and the whole rest of world was not far behind. The majority of the humans seemed okay with it though, but there always were people who just needed to cause trouble because they did not know better. Be it for lack of information or intellectual capacity. Always have been, always would be.   
Connor tried to not take it too serious, knowing how people were still antsy und unsure in the presence of androids. Fear was a mighty weapon in the wrong hands.

He lived with Hank for a short while but he did not want to be an uninvited guest on Hanks couch for too long. So with the beginning of the new year he moved into a small apartment of his own.  
It was small, interior scarce but he did not need much. He only came by most days to „recharge" and process, or if Fowler told him to just go home already, often taking files with him to work a little more.  
Social life? That was not meant for him. He worked with people on a daily basis, getting into contact with all kinds of personalities. He told himself that it was enough.

Was it though?

Sometimes Connor felt a pang of something sitting heavily in the area where his stomach should be. A little like a rug was pulled away from under his feet, a feeling of not belonging, loneliness even. He had Hank of course but sometimes this would not suffice. Hank often could not relate to the confusions and problems of being a feeling supercomputer, trying his best to help though, bless him, but there were limitations to what he could do to support him. Connor yearned for something he did not know, he could not put into words, unfamiliar and odd in some ways. Recognition of some kind maybe? Nearness? Someone to confide in him? It was hard to pinpoint exactly. He was still an absolute beginner and not accustomed to these kinds of feelings.  
After the demonstration on Hart Plaza, when Markus held his speech, Connor was standing by his side, having successfully freed the androids from the assembly plant. He felt a little out of place there and then, not comfortable to stand in front of the big crowd before him. What a time to be shy.  
In this vulnerable moment did CyberLife not only try to take back over their expensive prototype-hunter-gone-deviant, but they made sure Connor was about to shoot Markus in the head in front of every android in the city and live on TV before he could free himself from their strings permanently.   
He could still feel the chilly air of the zen garden burning through his jacket, the snow stinging on his artificial skin, his legs going heavy from exhaustion, thinking about how lost and desperate he felt before he had found the exit Kamski had told him about.   
Connor drew his gun, taking accurate aim, before tucking it away in the waistband on the back of his jeans, acting like nothing had happened, hoping no one saw his "glitch". But North had seen it.  
They had been on good terms since Jericho, made quite a good team they found but she was hostile since then, suspicious. It was part of her nature. She made sure Markus and the rest of the crew from Jericho would distrust him too after having seen it for themselves in the video of the speech. Markus wanted to give him the chance to be part of their group in the long run, have a family of some sort after he had risked his life at the tower when nobody asked him to. Markus knew how valuable Connor could be to them, he had seen was he was capable of now that he was not a marionette of that corporation anymore. Or was he? In the end North had too much influence on Markus. Much like with humans, emotions could cloud their judgements now too. So when one day Markus took Connor to the docks, where the Jericho once had been, only to talk, Connor knew something was up. He was just unsure, not stupid.

Markus started off cautiously but the result was the same, no matter how gentle and kind the words were. For their own safety and the safety of their people they agreed to kick Connor out of Jericho before he had even settled in with them fully. They decided that they could not trust him in the way they needed to because no one could be a 100% sure that CyberLife would not start another attempt to turn Connor back into an obedient machine and drive him back into their claws. With that a second second chance was off the table for good.  
Connor was devasted but did not let it show. He understood. He did not know it any other way. Under the influence of CyberLife he was made to believe that he was not using his full capabilities given to him. Not good enough to rise up to Amandas expectations, not distanced enough to function properly, not fast enough to gather information, always just a little below what Amanda had in mind for him to achieve. They deeply implemented self-doubt in him from the very beginning, psychologically abusing him in some kind of twisted way to make him dependent on them and helpless. To not question the reproach for his insufficiencies but to say thank you for their benevolence and sympathy for his so called failures and move on. Or live with the consequences.

Connor knew that most androids still distrusted him, he heard it on the streets. When he got recognized he heard the whispers and fearful words not always openly directed at him but meant for him nevertheless.  
"The hunter! Hide quick before he sees us!"  
"Be a good girl and behave or the deviant hunter will come and get you."  
"Traitor! Murderer! Scum of the earth!"  
"You should have been deactivated after what you've done to our people!"  
He has been attacked more times than he could count in the first few weeks and got into fights with upset androids and humans on many different occasions. Silently he was preparing to be looking over his shoulder for the rest of his life.  
The gutwrenching disillusionment settling in slowly, but surely. He did not belong in either world, not with the humans and even less with the androids. It seemed he was destined to be on his own. Only programmed to blend in, not fit in. Isolated from a world he had so desperately tried to save when he just wanted to be a part of it. To be shut out and cut off from everything and everyone. CyberLife had made sure of that by their last attempt to turn the tide on the revolution.   
That was a harsh truth he had come to realize and being a deviant it hurt him tenfold.  
It was not often this intense but when he felt it, it was bad.

So he concentrated on his work, put all his energy and computing capacity into proving himself over and over again. To be seen as worthy of approval maybe? He did not think that was possible that this was how he was wired but he just wanted someone to take his side, be proud of who he had become, hug him and tell him everything was going to be alright. Was it not enough? Was he not enough? How many times more did he have to demonstrate where his loyalties lay?  
Hank knew about his insecurities of course, he was his closest and only real friend. To cheer him up, Hank was trying his damnest to build that broken soul back up. Connor knew he meant well but what difference did it make really when everybody else kept their distance, making him feel small and insignificant? It hurt on a level he did not even know he was capable of feeling.  
Hank was able to get a hold on an old shirt that once was a thing in social media of his younger years. It said "more issues than vogue". Hank laid it on Connors desk thinking it to be funny (his sense of whats ‚funny‘ rubbing off on on Connor only gradually) and waited for a reaction. Connor picked it up, (oh Hank really, really tried) smiled a sad smile, seeing the intention and the humour behind it but not being able to appreciate it when it hit too close to home.  
He put it in the back of his nearly empty closet as a token of yet another failure.

It had been a rough kind of week. The real bad kind that made you want to run a mile and never come back.  
Your boss had been breathing down your neck for weeks now about a signature project, driving the whole office bananas by doing extra hours and dealing with his mood swings and unpredictable behaviour. You never knew when he arrived in the morning if he was in a good temper or ready to cut a bitch at 8am sharp. He had a face that made it hard to determine his emotions. Sturdy body, average height and pushing 60 now. Not an athlete anymore but still having punch, running half-marathons and putting his medals up on his desk and walls for everyone to see. Hair almost gone, small eyes that held no sympathy for anyone but lighted up at a lucrative deal like the christmas lights on main street come november. He was not a pleasant person to be around, more interested in numbers, scales and efficiency reports than his employees. That though had earned him a big house and a fast car.

The past week was the worst of it all. Completion day was today, friday, and the nearer that date got the antsier and edgier he became.   
Today you broke down for the first time ever at work. Your boss gave you hell for a minor slip up of one of your co-workers. He never bothered to learn names propely, staff turnover being higher than high, so he did not even register that he was shouting at the wrong person in front if everybody currently frozen in their actions. He was fuming, throwing papers and pens around in a fit of rage, not only talking your work down but insulting you on a very personal level that had your cheeks turn red and tears welling up in your eyes.   
When he had said all that he wanted to say, he turned on his heel and slammed the door to his seperate office loudly shut, leaving you no time to defend yourself and set things straight about this not being your mistake. Just leaving you trembling and ashamed at your desk, exposed to the wide and pitiful eyes of all your colleagues, no one really daring to breathe let alone say anything.  
You walked with as much composure as you could muster over to the restrooms and allowed yourself to give in and cry at the washbasin. You let the tears flow freely, hiccupping and rubbing your eyes and nose from time to time. Thinking about what you did to deserve this and why you continued to let yourself getting treated like that. Why could you not be strong when you needed it to be? Finding the right words hours after an argument like that and never saying them out loud to the person that needed to hear them was a cowards move.  
You stayed for a while there, regarding yourself in the mirror, the light not flattering the reflection staring back at you from the mirror.  
Eyes red, puffy and itching, tear streaks down to your chin. It was a good thing you did not wear make-up that could get smudged.  
Still you could not hide your breakdown when you were going back out there that was for sure. Besides... everybody knew where you were and that you were bawling your eyes out after that outburst, no need to hide it really. But it was only one more hour to go before this horrible week and that nerve-wrecking project came to an end. You could manage that. You needed to manage that. 

Taking a deep breath and a last look at that picture of misery you got out of the restrooms and back into the lion's den making your way to your desk without looking left or right.  
Starting to reply to a few e-mails and avoiding eye-contact with anyone you finally made it to quitting time.   
Shutting down your computer and absentmindedly packing your bag you hurried up, trying to get away before anyone could talk to you. From the view out of the window it was going to start raining soon, heavy, dark clouds covering the sky. Just great but you would be home soon enough to hole yourself up and fell sorry for yourself.

On the way out you took the elevator to gain time and rummaged through your bag in search of your small folding umbrella. That big thing had to be good for something, even if it was just to tote around (un)neccessary things. You could easily emigrate with all that you carried with you on a daily basis.  
On the floor below a few people got on and while intensely searching (where was that fricking thing?!) you unintentionally hit a man standing beside you with the heavy bag.  
"Sorry", you mumbled being all kinds of embarrassed again. He just raised his eyebrows disparagingly and blankly stared ahead.   
Then finally you found what you were looking for and got off on the main floor. You could not wait to get home, away from this day, this week, this sorry excuse for a life.  
You knew it was not always sunshine and roses. Whoever said that was a brazen-faced liar.  
But for you it was just thorns and rain clouds as of late and that really dampened your mood. A lot. You barely had the energy to go out in your free time. Friends avoiding you and tuning away one by one because you "were not as fun to be around anymore" or your mood would "only drag one down". You had slowly grown away from your former friends, laughing about other things, worrying about different topics. It just happened sometimes but you were okay with it. 

It was starting to mizzle when you stepped out of the building and you made to quickly put up your umbrella when you felt it collide with something. Or someone.  
Oh please, nooo! What on earth was wrong with you today?   
You then noticed the slim jeans clad legs and neat black shoes poking out from under the fabric of your rain shield and suddenly became aware of the fact that you had just hit a total stranger in the crotch with the end of said umbrella.  
"OH! OH MY GOD! I'm so sorry! I... I-I didn't see you there. Are you alright?", you babbled while trying to close it again with shaky fingers to get a better look at the poor guy you hopefully had not emasculated just now in a fit of clumsiness.  
Please, just let this day be over for crying out loud!  
"It's okay. I'm alright! Nothing happened", a calm, melodic voice answered not upset in the slightest.  
Closing the wannabe weapon you looked dumbfounded at the target you had hit, shaking your head when your brain caught up with your actions and that it was highly awkward to stare this concentrated at someones private parts in the middle of the street. Your face reddened and you looked slightly to the side. Then you noticed the badge, a detective badge, clipped to the belt of your unintended victim.  
Oh fucking hell, you cursed inwardly and closed your eyes for a second. It was not funny anymore. Not in the slightest.   
Oh well. At least in jail your boss could not yell at you for not doing your work right. Could be worth it.

Taking a breath but not being able to get enough oxygen into your lungs you looked up to where you assumed his face would be. Just get it over with, apologize some more and be nice. Heart pounding against your ribcage at a speed you thought must have been unhealthy.  
You were greeted with a pair of the most kind brown eyes. A light glistening in there that made it unable for you to look away.  
Short and soft brown hair, neatly combed back, a rebel strand of hair on his forehead. A pleasant expression on his masculine and sharp features.  
"Are you sure? I hit you pretty hard in a very... senstitive area", you tried to say without tripping on your tongue. Oh he looked gorgeous. Damn it!  
"I assure you I'm perfectly fine", he smiled slightly, a sincere touch to his words and that did it for you. So. Handsome.   
Your brain had stopped functioning, so you babbled on some more.  
"Okay. That's... that's good then. Just... My deepest apologies, Detective..."  
"Anderson. Connor Anderson."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After the incident at work and your very unfortunate encounter with our favorite android detective things take a turn. Maybe a bad day did not have to end bad too?

It was getting late, the small coffee shop filling with people by the minute who wanted to enjoy a laid back evening instead of a fun night out at a bar or club. Soft indie music was wafting through the air, the scent of freshly brewed coffee and homebaked goods filling your nose, making you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. It was a cozy little place you never noticed before even though it was not that far from where you worked and just what you needed after a day like that. You sat at a table by the window, Detective Anderson, no, Connor, you corrected yourself, was telling a comical story about one of his colleagues who fell face first into a trap set by their boss embarassing himself in front of everyone and barely able to save some face. You could pinpoint the exact moment when he remebered the day from a few weeks back, his eyes shining with amusement, a smile tugging at his lips while he was talking.  
You took a sip of your second hot chocolate with cream, clasping the warm mug tightly in your hands, warming them up, listening closely to that soothing voice of his.  
"Seems you're having a lot of fun at work", you commented and smirked.  
"Well, not often like this, but it happens. Occasionally", he added, a gleam in his eyes.  
You could not stop looking at him. That boyish almost innocent charm really had you hooked and for a second there your glances met. Rich brown eyes the color of melting chocolate, light and dark hues with just a swirl of caramel, gentle, warm and chipper, gazing deeply into yours. Like he was looking past your physical body and right into your soul. That gaze was magnetizing and it made something tingle funnily deep inside your belly. Neither of you said anything, a pleasant silence setting over you, not awkward at all.

You set the mug down on the wooden table before you.  
"It's a shame that you can't have any of these", you had found your voice again, trying to distract Connor from the flush you felt creeping up your neck.  
"Cause this, this is the real deal."  
You pointed to your hot chocolate.  
"The real deal, huh? Well, it's not that I can't try it because I totally could. A least a tiny bit. I know what it should taste like and with the receptors on my tongue being state-of-the-art I can transfer the input data into some kind of information I'm able to decode. I have a program that can theoretically identify flavours...", he rambled.  
"But you don't know for sure?", you asked, raising your eyebrows.  
"Ehm... no. I have never tried any human food or beverage actually for which I would have needed to make use that program. The taste of evidence is not exactly something that's gonna convinct a perp, you know?", he admitted.  
You huffed a little astonished. An idea coming to mind.  
"So, um... You wanna?"  
He leaned forward, putting his arms on his knees, regarding you intently, knitting his brow a bit.  
"Maybe I do", he responded slowly like he had to think real hard on that, voice a little husky.  
"I promise, you won't regret it", you answered cheerfully, sliding the mug over to him.  
"I know I won't. There sure have been worse things I have had in my mouth recently", he answered absentmindely, grabbing the spoon from beside the mug and eyeing the beverage now.  
You spluttered, snorting with laughter, eyes widening in awkward shock at his words.  
A second later he realized what he just had said. How he said it. A babyblue blush creeping up into his cheeks making him look all adorable and cute. Connor chuckled, embarassed and trying to keep his cool.  
"Oh, come on! You know that this is not what I meant! For such a sweet looking girl you sure have way too dirty thoughts."  
Your giggling was only fuelled on by that.  
"Of course you didn't. Sicko."  
You hid your smile behind your hand to not distract him further and watched him approaching the mug with the spoon.  
Like it was some kind of foreign object that had to be treated with caution in case of... sudden explosion or something like that. You could not help it and had to stare at him a little more, the smile wiped off your face and replaced by an open mouthed expression he could luckily not see behind your palm. God, he was so attractive. Such delicate features, handsome face and lithe body with enough strength to knock out a whole army you mused.  
His dark jacket was neatly folded over the armrest of the heavy, cognac-colored leather armchair along with the slim and simple black tie he had worn earlier. His shoulder holster now visible to everyone around. Showoff, you smiled to yourself. Your eyes wandered further.  
The sleeves of his crisp, white shirt rolled up to his forearms, the first two buttons of said shirt having been undone in the course of the evening, revealing a little of his oh so delicate pale neck and throat. It looked so, so lickable. Shaking your head you reminded yourself that those were no thoughts for a public place like this. But damn, this young detective was mighty fine!  
Such a romance novel cliché actually but oh what a view...

Directing your mind someplace else you wondered what made talking to Connor that openly seem so easy for you anyway? You had known him now for what, maybe 3 to 4 hours and you already had the feeling like you could be more honest to him than you could have ever been to most of your so called old friends. You could just be you, no need to put on an act. And from what you could guess he was having a good time too.

If you had not known you would have never guessed that he was an android. Apart from the LED visible on his temple and him telling you that your earlier attack on his nether regions could and would have no permanent damages or repercussions on his family planning he was just as "normal" as any human being. Well there was the fact that he fortunately could switch the sensors in his whole body on and off to make him feel something or nothing at all which gave him a great advantage if he got shot at or hurt during his job. Just shrug it off and next please! Dealing with a blow to the area around his thirium pump regulator would have been a little more difficult for it was kind of shock sensitive, he had told you.

Connor slowly raised the spoon to his lips, balancing a small amount of hot chocolate into his mouth. You could see the tip of his pink tongue dart out carefully but surely and in that moment you knew you were staring again. You knew it and could not do a damn thing about it even if your life depended on it.  
You saw his eyes changing to a calm expression, the LED on his temple turning yellow, then blue again. Processing apparently finished.  
"Mmmh...", he hummed. "It really is good. Just like you said." Smacking his lips once.  
"So... that's all you have to say to your first experience of human sustenance?  
"Yeah, kinda. What did you want me to say?"  
"Well I thought maybe you would be a little more... thrilled about it?", you admitted not knowing what you had expected really.  
"Sorry. I... I didn't mean to disappoint you", he looked a bit startled, folding his hands together, looking down as if he was ashamed.  
"Oh, don't be silly! You didn't disappoint me with anything", you hastily answered.  
"I tend to expect too much from people in general", you fake laughed and he smiled back lightly.

The noises in the coffee shop grew louder and louder, the clanking of dishes and murmering increasing. It was getting really crowded in here, you did not do well with packed spaces.  
It seemed to be quite the popular place here. You looked around slightly uncomfortable.  
Connor must have sensed your unease.  
"(Y/N), is everything alright? Your stress level has increased quite a bit", he looked at you from under his lashes, worry on his face and in his voice. God, what a cutie. But wait, had he scanned you the whole time?  
"No, I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just... it's a busy evening I guess." You nodded your head in the general direction of the counter.  
"It would seem like that...", he agreed, looking around the room now too.  
"Do you wanna go? If you don't like it here we can still go someplace different", he suddenly asked.  
You contemplated for a moment. You did not want to give him the impression that you made up an excuse to end this evening. Because you really did not want it to end.  
"Well, perhaps we could find something a little less people-y, if you don't mind? I'm not very good with big crowds", you admitted.  
He watched you for a second and smiled a genuine smile then. Your heart skipped a beat. Apparently CyberLife had even provided him with oh so cute dimples.  
"Me either", he answered.  
"So, what do you have in mind?"

A few minutes later you were at the counter to pay for your beverages but Connor beat you to it.  
"I'll take it", he insisted, grabbing for his wallet.  
"That's not neccessary", you tried and looked up at him. He did not seem to hear you and continued to stare at the person behind the register still serving other customers. You gave in.  
"But thank you." He smirked, so he had heard you.  
"Don't thank me, thank the DPD. They're paying for my expenses." He glanced down at you, eyes shining with mirth.  
"I'll do that then", smirking back.

After that you went out of the coffee shop into the chilly spring night air and started walking. It was nice after being cooped up in that small room for that amount of time, getting fresh, unrecycled oyxgen into your system and a light breeze around your nose. The rain had stopped a while back, the lights of the city reflecting in the puddles on the street.  
"So, this park you wanna go to. What's so special about it?", you wanted to know.  
"It's a surprise, I told you."  
"Well, I don't like surprises", you tried to make him talk but to no avail. He was the interrogator here, he would never fall into your trap.  
"You'll like this one."

When you arrived at the park you could see that something was going on there. Strange, colorful lights were painting the trees and bushes.  
Your eyes lit up. It looked wonderful even from afar.  
"See? I knew you'd like it. It's a light installation from a resident artist."  
Wow, that really was something different entirely.  
"That's... beautiful! How come I've never heard of it?" And why was the park so empty? Why did only so few people take interest in this attraction?  
You walked a little faster, not able to hold your excitement back.  
Connor just smiled, shrugged and followed you to the entrance of the park. The view before you was stunning.

There were iridescent poles marking the path through the whole park and this piece of art, shining in every shade of pink, blue, yellow and green, changing their color depending on the angle you looked at them.  
Spots were illuminating the greenery in every color of the rainbow, sometimes accompanied by a little smoke or moving lights.  
Little sculptures made of acrylic glass told stories, that were accompanied by athmospheric and ambient quiet music.

Like the swarm of turquoise plastic fish between two trees right at the beginning. A fairy tale about one brave little fish who left the swarm and found his luck was narrated through the speaker nearby.  
Or the extra large glass spheres that were lit golden from below looking like bubbles aiming for the sky with matching slow music.  
You could not wipe the grin off your face. Nobody had ever taken you to something this extraordinary before.  
And this was not even a date. Not offically anyhow.  
For this you had to accidentally nut punch a total stranger and let him take you out for coffee.  
Well, god sure moved in mysterious ways.

You walked around the park, stopping at every new little piece of installation talking about what you liked the most.  
You must have been spending some time there, you face already red from the cold. But you did not want to leave yet. Walking under a "ceiling" of thousands and thousands little golden lights that was hung and stretched over a whole alley in the park, casting a soft warm glow on the both of you, you talked about everything and nothing at all like you did not just meet. You were so familiar and close, like two old souls that had known each others for centuries. Like soul mates drawn to each other in every epoche.  
Surely your mind was playing tricks on you, cheesy and bad tricks. What were you thinking? And when had your brain stopped functioning properly?  
Connor was merely being nice and courteous.  
He smiled again as he talked about the dog of his "father" and lieutenant but to your disgrace you did not really process the words that left his mouth. You were so occupied in your own mind, trying to sort your thoughts.  
"He just thinks he's a puppy. A heavy, drooling puppy", he finished his monologue and looked at your smiling face.  
"You look tired", Connor observed, suddenly changing the subject.  
"I'm fine", you insisted, your body betraying you as you tried to stiffle the yawn that threatened to escape.  
"Sure you are", he chuckled and looked around a little... was he nervous?  
"We've been here for quite some time. It's almost midnight", he went on.  
You were a little startled. Wow, when did that happen? How time flies when you are having fun.  
"Oh, okay. That late already? I hadn't noticed", you were a little sad that this nice night had to come to an end. Of course you were tired but you had such a good time. Much needed after a day like yours.  
"How about I take you home? Let me just call a taxi..."  
You don't know where this came from, but you felt a little adventurous. Maybe it really was the lack of sleep taking its toll but suddenly you heard yourself say: "Are you going to tuck me in, too?", you grinned stupidly.  
You saw Connors LED flash bright red suddenly, he began to stutter a little.  
"I... Ehm, no. I... I just... You know. Want to make sure you arrive safely. That's all", his cheeks blushing light blue again, looking away now shyly.  
Oh, so worth it!  
"I was just pulling your leg, Connor. I'm sorry", you laughed and wanted to reach out to touch his arm but held back at the last second. Why, you didn't know.  
"But I would very much like for you to take me home."  
A cautious look at you, his slight trademark smile returning.  
"Don't do that. I'm a sensitive plant, you know?", he mock pouted, tilting his head.  
"How would I know? You're the detective here, you surely have to be able to stand a little teasing!"  
"Come on then, let's go. It's really time to get rid of you I guess", he poked your side playfully with his elbow, winking nonchalantly.  
Whoa. You had to swallow hard. That wink was unfair play at the highest level! How dare he look so hot doing such a small gesture?  
You walked to exit of the park and just a minute later your autonomous taxi arrived.

On the way to your apartment a little outside of the city you did not talk much, both of you dwelling on your thoughts. The day had taken a turn you would have never thought possible. Maybe you had saved up some good karma after all. Or fate was just kind today.  
Out of the corner of your eyes you could see Connor observing the mostly empty streets through his side of the window, it had started raining again.  
You wondered what went through his mind right now. He may have well been one of the last real gentleman you had come across, you mused, smiling to yourself. He really was a kind soul, full of wit and amiability. Almost too good to be true, so where was the catch in all of this?  
Well, of course he was not human. But what of it? Did it matter that he was not flesh and red blood underneath but biocomponents and thirium? When you found someone you liked to be around, who did you good and seemed to understand you without judging - what did it matter what he was or what he was not? Well, some people might argue with you on that one but after tonight you'd be willing to go into battle defending your opinion. And Connor.

And then all too sudden you arrived at your destination and the car stopped.  
You lived in an okay neighbourhood, not too seedy or highclass but affordable and unhurried, mostly young families or students residing here which made it kind of lively most days. A few shops here and there, some green areas and no huge towering buildings. Like a little city just outside of the city.  
"Well, seems like we're there", you stepped out of the vehicle as the doors automatically opened, Connor following suit.  
"It's nice. Very... homely", Connor remarked, taking a look around the street with mostly brick wall houses.  
"It is. It really is."  
Connor accompanied you through the front yard and up the three stairs to the entrace of the red two-story building, hands in the pockets of his jeans.  
"The upper level is mine", you said as if to reassure yourself and calm down. Your suddenly very rapid heartbeat made it hard for you to breathe properly. God, you were not a teenager anymore. Why were you so nervous?  
You fished for your keys in your bag, the both of you standing in the dim light of the wall lamp, he smiled down at you shyly.  
"Well then... This is it I guess. Thank you (Y/N)... for this wonderful evening. I had a really good time", Connor said and even though he still smiled you could hear the regret in his voice and he hesitated before he went on.  
"I better get going, I have kept you long enough..."  
"Oh, ehm... No you didn't. Not at all. I had a real blast too! Well, after I attacked you that is", you babbled, a bit too flustered for your liking.  
"It's been the best evening in a very long time, you know? I don't often go out like this and usually not in half as good company anyway. So I really have to thank you." You fiddled with the key ring.  
He regarded you intensly, the depth to his doe-eyed gaze mesmerizing. You did not want him to go. And from the way things looked he did not want to leave either.  
"Then we should do this again sometime soon, what do you say?"  
"Yes! Totally. I would love to", you heard yourself answer before you even had time to think about it.  
"Great. That's... great". He seemed a bit agitated too.  
"So... I've got your number. I'll clear my schedule and give you a call if that's alright with you? And hope that the criminals don't interfere with my plans", he joked.  
"Sounds like a plan...", you smirked. YES! JACKPOT!  
A silence fell over you, both of you looking around not fixing any point in particular.  
"You should head inside. It's getting kind of freezing out here with the rain and everything. I'll wait until I see the lights on upstairs, just to make sure you get there safely." Aw, how sweet was that?  
"Don't bother waiting. What's the worst that could happen?" Those dimples showing again. You discovered his smiles as another one of your weak spots. This android was really one of a kind.  
"I'll wait anyway if you don't mind. Well then... good night, (Y/N). And thanks again." His voice was quiet and hushed.  
You knew it was now or never. The one moment where you had to be brave enough and take all the courage you had in you. He did not seem to be initiating it, maybe afraid of overstepping some boundaries. But for you it just felt so right to do it. Theoretically. It was silly really. There was nothing that you wanted more right now than to put your lips on his. To find out if they were as soft as they looked and to show Connor that you felt deeply connected to him in some mysterious way. To invite him in and ask him to spend the night, not even to go all the way but to just be in his arms when you woke up. See the morning sun on his face and hold on to him for dear life.  
But you just could not bring yourself to do it. It was a shame and then the moment had passed. So instead you stepped closer and gave him a gentle hug.  
"Good night, Connor", you whispered as you pressed your cheek to his. He was completely still and stiff for a second, as if he had turned into a pillar of salt but then reluctantly put an arm around your middle too, reciprocating the motion.  
Then you let go and went inside, one last look back to him. He gave a small lopsided grin as you closed the door.  
Inside you had to close your eyes and catch your shaky breath before heading up the stairs and into your apartment. You switched the light on the living room that looked onto the road and stood by the window.  
Just like he had promised Connor stood there on the path in the front yard looking up. Upon seeing you he gave a final wave and headed for the taxi still waiting on him. You waved back. Oh, gosh. What a night.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After having spent a wonderful and laid back evening with Connor you get the text message you have been hoping for. He wants to meet you again. Oh my!
> 
> Fluff (again) ensues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd, all typos are mine. :)  
Beautiful edit / inspiration linked to its respective owner, watch out for the link halfway through the chapter.
> 
> The chapter would have been waaaaaay longer (I can't be brief, sorry not sorry X'D) so I had to make a cut somewhere. So, here it is. Enjoy!

The next morning you woke up with a smile on your face. Well, morning was not quite right, more like noon.  
But it was the weekend and nobody could tell that saturdays were not for sleeping in.  
You had been a little pumped last night when you got back from your improvised ‚totally-not-a-date‘ date with Connor and could not go to sleep immediately. You first tried around 2am to lay down and willed your heart and mind to slow down, let you get some much needed rest and doze off. To no avail though.  
Tossing and turning, grinning like an idiot at one moment, being nervous the next. Playing out scenes in your head, making up conversations that could or never would happen.  
It was like you were a teenager all over again. Could you please just stop acting like a lovesick puppy?  
You were lucky you did not dream of him, too. Not that it would have been unpleasent to dream of him, not at all. But that meant your brain was still able to think of something different than your personal prince charming with the gentle doe eyes. That had to count for something right?  
You poured yourself a cup of coffee. No matter what the clock on your wall said, the first thing you consumed after getting out of bed needed to be coffee. It cleared you thoughts, soothed the wrinkles out of your mind and most of all it pulled you from your drowsiness.  
You took your phone, more out of habit than anything else and sat down on a stool by the counter to go through your (un)social media feed (being informed was something entirely different than being nosy!) when you saw a text message from this morning. It was from Connor.

You heart jumped, just when you thought you had him out of your thoughts for a bit he sneaked his way back into them. It was a good kind of sneaking though you mused while opening the message, heartbeat rising up.

*

_Good morning, (Y/N). I hope you slept well. I had to think a lot about last night and our seredipitous meeting. :) I’m glad you agreed to spend your friday evening with me and I hope we’ll be able to repeat this soon. Are you free this wednesday? I could get off work early. There’s a spring fair in the city, loosely based on the hanami festival. Maybe you’d like to accompany me?_  
_ Have a lovely day and hope to see you soon._  
_ Connor_

*

You thrashed about, kicking your feet in the air under the counter, wearing a stupid broad grin that made your face hurt. How could he make your day with just one short, simple message? He must have really got you hooked. Oh dear, you were in for a lot of trouble if this was anything to go by.

You did not normally fall for someone that hard and fast but somehow he made it so easy for you. He made **everything** seem so easy, like it was no effort at all.

Well, wednesday could not come soon enough. You were already looking forward to that. But now came the tricky part. Let him know you were excited as hell without sounding excited as hell. You would not want to come off as needy or desperate (though you had to admit you were, but only a teeny tiny bit).  
It had been a good long while since you let someone in, letting them get close to you and you getting attached to them. You had been hurt plenty in the past and build not only walls but a whole fort to protect yourself. And he just tore it down easily in a single evening like it was nothing.

You sighed in frustration, rubbing your temple. After just staring at your phone for a minute, hoping the reply message would pop up all by itself you started typing unsurely.

*

_Hello Connor. Thank you for your sweet message. I thought a lot about this evening too. I haven’t had such a great time in a good while. It was just what I needed. :) Of course, I would love to go with you to this fair. Wednesday sounds perfect to me, I will leave work early too, no matter what. Is 4pm alright with you? Meet you there?_  
_ Have a nice day too and I really am looking forward to wednesday._  
_ (Y/N)_

*

That sounded like it could work, right? Oh damn, your heart beat a mile a minute, head spinning a little from the sensation of it all. You sent the text and exhaled a deep breath you did not know you were holding.  
Your mood had improved significantly since you stepped out of the office yesterday. This subliminal and always lurking somber feeling pushed to the back of your mind all of a sudden, not weighing you down anymore. You had almost forgotten what it felt like.  
You had to grin. Going to this fair together sounded fun. Hanami. The cherry blossom festival.  
You thought of big trees lining the streets with beautiful and dainty pink-white blossoms, of their sweet smell filling the air. The first warm sunlight on your face and the tingling feeling you got when you tasted the first ice cream of the season on your tongue. The japanese believed hanami to be the fresh start of something new. How fitting. Maybe that was what Connor had intended. Mark a new beginning, leave the past behind. Sneaky boy!  
You could not shake the feeling that his past had not been too bright either. He did not talk too much about himself in that regard but there were subtle signs you picked up on. Being shy and unsure and the next minute he acted like he could take on the world. This insecurity had to come from somewhere, he surely had not been programmed to be that way, being a detective model.  
Well, you would get to the bottom of that someday. It was nowhere near a topic for a first meeting of course. But you could not help yourself that you wanted to everything there was to know about him. You could tell there was more to that pretty smile than met the eye. Thinking of his smile had your train of thoughts change directions again.  
You imagined Connor and yourself on a bench at the fair, sitting side by side, deep in conversation and laughing. Like there was nothing that mattered but the two of you. You imagined him looking down at you with this warm gaze you had already lost yourself in a couple of times while he took your hand, caressing your knuckles with his thumb. Imagined him smiling, a twinkle in his eyes. You reaching up to touch his face, tasting that smile. Kissing him sweetly.  
You shook your head.  
Oooh girl, you had it bad! That was not good. Not at all!  
You needed to distance yourself from these thoughts, clear up your head a little. But then your phone buzzed.

*

_I’m glad you agreed. I look forward to it too. :) But since this is kind of a second first date I’ll gladly pick you up at work. 4pm it is. I’ll be there.  
Yours Connor_

*

Oh no, he did not! You read the message again. And again. And again for good measure.  
He really had called it a date!  
You gulped, your throat a little tight all of a sudden, hands trembling just a bit.  
From that moment on you know you where doomed in the best way possible.

***

The rest of the weekend you tried to distract yourself. Watching movies, series, doing grocery shopping and maybe even clean your apartment from top to bottom. Just to have something to do.

Oh and did you need new clothes? Maybe you should wear something different than what your closet had to offer. What did you want to wear at all? A cute, playful dress maybe since it was a spring fair? With a jeans jacket to go by? But a dress could be unpractical real quick. Always having to keep it down when a gust of wind caught you. Showing way more than you wanted to show. And you had to go to work in that outfit too. Plus it could still be cold as hell in april.

He would surely be wearing a suit again, being the respectable detective he was. After all he had a reputation to maintain. And if he cleaned up nice, you had to match him and do so as well. Not some half-heartedly mixed up outfit that you had worn too many times already.  
It should be something special, only for this occasion.  
Flicking through your stuff you came to a disillusioning fact. Nothing would rise to your expectations.  
Were you a little too hyped about all of this? Would the clothes you would be wearing on wednesday really dictate how good a time you were going to have? Connor had seen you in a normal work outfit, jeans, sweater and sneakers, and it did not phase him one bit. Why would it anyway? All that had mattered was that the two of you had really gotten along well. More than.  
It was stupid to be worked up over a few pieces of fabric, was it not?  
You closed the doors again.  
You would decide spontaneously. Maybe it was better like that.

***

Monday came and went, the events of the previous friday still in the air. Your boss had been kind of antsy still. It would be like that for a little while longer until he would be patted on the head by this big client, praising him how well he had done.  
You did your work, nothing more but nothing less either. Successfully avoiding having to talk to anyone about more than the weather.

Tuesday was insignificant and not much different. Stoically completing the tasks on your to do list and keeping to yourself. But it brought you closer to your goal: make it through to wednesday.

An finally the day had arrived. You got out of bed with a swinging step, smiling to yourself.

Over the past two days you had decided you would not make that big an issue of trying to impress Connor with your appearance. Take me as I am or leave me the hell be.  
You knew he was not wired like that, at least he did not seem to be that kind of guy to you.

So you put on your favorite cardigan to keep you warm with a matching scarf, a simple white shirt, a pair of right sitting jeans and simple, comfy boots. And a parka for the chilly evening. This was the outfit you felt most comfortable in, nothing to keep fiddling with and a 100% you.  
You could only hope you would radiate the calmness that your outfit expressed, too.

Normally you would never wear much make up and so you decided to keep it that way. Fixing the dark bags under your eyes and a little color on your lips was the most you did.

At work you caught yourself glancing at the clock repeatedly, wishing time would move quicker, at least until 4pm. Then time could stop altogether if anyone asked you. Your hands were a little shaky by the time you got ready to pack up and leave. You wanted to see him so bad.  
And the weather was especially fine today. No rain, warm sunshine and a little breeze. Talk about good karma.  
No one asked why you were leaving early but why would anyone care really? In this office everyone was a lone fighter, not too interested in others because nobody tended to stay long enough to really form a bond with. A shame really.

You left the elevator on the main floor and stepped out onto the street, looking around.  
"(Y/N)! Hey."  
Your head whipped around and... Oh. My. GOODNESS.  
Connor had called for you from beside the entrance, dressed in dark blue jeans, a black shirt and a matching black leather jacket. Hair a little more casual than the last time. It sat well on him. [→ He looked dashing! ← ](https://dbh-edits.tumblr.com/post/179047684800)You were not sure if you were drooling or if this was all in your head, hoping and praying it was the latter.  
"Connor! You're already here", the most stupid thing you could say. Damnit, keep it together.  
He smiled nevertheless. Oh, that face did things to you.  
"I know, but I just couldn't wait."  
He came over to give you a small, chaste hug like friends do.  
"Me either", you admitted and really did not know why. You planned on staying cool. Well, that worked really well so far. Reeeeally well...  
"So are you ready to have some fun", he quipped and you smiled back at him.  
"Do I ever?!"

You walked the short distance to the train station and got on the line directly to the place where the fair was situated.  
Talking about both of your days, engaging in harmless smalltalk, neither of you giving up your mask of calmness.  
Getting out at the right station you could already hear the upbeat music filling the site. It was not yet too crowded with it being only late afternoon so you had a pretty good view oft he boulevward lined with cherry blossom trees! It looked so pretty. All pink and sweet. It was a sight for sore eyes after a long and cold muddy winter.  
"So what do you wanna do first?" Connor asked, cheerfulness written on his face.  
"Ouh, tough one. How about we just take a look around and decide when we get there? I definately wanna ride the Ferris wheel! But the rest is kinda optional. How about you?"  
"Sounds good to me", Connor pushed his hands into the pockets of his jeans and you two started walking around.  
Stopping at every other stall where you could buy trinkets, scarves, jewellery and all odds and ends you could think of. Most of it was tacky. Printing cherry blossoms on everything just to match the 'motto' was not a good way of designing merchandise, you mused. What really contributed to the hanami origins were the beautiful trees lining the foot paths.

At one stall Connor tried on sunglasses, eyeing himself in the small mirror from every direction.  
It looked cute the way he was trying to determine if it suited him, scrunching up his nose, eyebrows raising again, LED swirling excitedly.  
"I like that one", he simply stated, taking it off his nose again, fiddling with it. It was a very average model, black plastic, square lenses with rounded corners. Classic.  
"What do you think?" He tilted his head, looking at you.  
"I think, why the hell does an android need sunglasses", you smiled.  
He slitted his eyes a little, pulling up the lft corner of his mouth in a mock sneer.  
"Well, first of all I think this is none of your business", he replied playfully. "And secondly, it just looks so damn cool."  
"Yeah, it kinda does. Buy it already. It looked good on you", you answered, laughingly. 'Like everything looks good on you', you added in your mind.

He did not need much more encouragement than that. After that purchase you went on, Connor clipping the sunglasses to his t-shirt. The next stop was a snack stall.  
"Have you eaten? You look a little pale... ?"  
"No, not really. It was kinda stressful today, I haven't had time for that."  
"You SHOULD make time for that. It's essential for your body to work properly... How about this here", he pointed to the pizza rolls on display.  
"Hm." You inhaled the scent of the rolls, molten cheese, oregano. Yeah, something greasy would be just fine.  
"Good choice, detective Connor. I'll have three of them."

With your food on your hands you looked for a place to sit, deciding on a little wall that barely reached your hips.  
"Well, enjoy!"  
"Thanks", you answered around a mouthful, watching the passersby curiously.  
Connor fell silent and you looked over to him, seeing him staring at you. Intently. Your heart pumped a little faster. That was kind of awkward. Swallowing down a big chunk you asked, smirking: "Do you like watching me eat?"  
Connor snapped out of his daze.  
"Sorry, I didn't mean to be rude." He turned his head away from you.  
"No, it's fine. It was just... a little strange, you know?" Great, now he felt stupid. Good job!  
"I'm… I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. I was just in thought" He looked at you shortly, full puppy eyes mode.  
"It's okay, Connor really! I didn’t mean it like that“

You finished you snack in silence, thinking of a way to make it up to him.  
Then you continued your walkaround and sometime later got closer to the area of where all the amusement rides were placed, the gleeful screaming of those already riding them could be heard.  
Connor had soon dismissed the staring incident after you had assured him that he had done nothing wrong. Wow, that poor guy had really a lot to work through. Was he used to people making him look small, being insufferable assholes around him or why did he knuckle under after something meaningless like that? You felt your stomach drop at the thought of someone treating him like a lesser person.

"So, drop tower or rollercoaster", you asked when he suddenly stopped and looked up to where this said drop tower just rushed down with people screaming. He just stood there, a look between amazement and fear for his life on his features.  
"I uh... Is there a swing carousel or something involving less... heights?" He asked, a hopeful tone in his voice.

„Don’t tell me you’re scared of heights!“ You exclaimed a little stunned.  
„I… might be. A little bit.“ A light blue tinting his cheeks.  
Wow, who would have thought it? But then again, where was ist written that a he could not be scared of loosing his footing on the ledge of a roof? It was just a surprise is all.  
„Well, I’m not too fond of it either. Even less when there’s speed involved“, an amused glint in your eyes.  
You chuckled, when Connor looked at you, realisation dawning on him that he had been played by you again.  
Where did you take all that courage from to do this when you were awfully nervous?  
„What the hell is wrong with you“, he tried to look incredulous but laughed while saying it.  
„So much, Connor. So much.“  
„I think I get the idea. Short and mean. Noted.“ He nodded once.  
You walked further down to the rides together, so close your hand once touched his arm. You hastily pulled it back like you had just received an electric jolt. He did not seem to notice your flustered face at the unintentional contact, looking left and right, taking it all in. You wondered if he had been to this kind of festival before or if this was a first for him. Had he taken someone out on a date like that before? Kissed someone? Slept with them?  
‚Not helping!‘, you willed your brain to stop thinking these things but it was not working the way it should have.

You soon reached the Ferris wheel, the blinking lights and the sounds that emanated from a good dozen amusement rides straining your eyes and ears. There was a hell of a lot going on here, so much input.  
A thought struck you then. If he was scared to go above ground then how would he climb in the Ferris wheel cabin with you?  
„So, no Ferris wheel for you either?“ You pointed to it. Connor came to a halt, looking at the turning wheel, most likely scanning and processing.  
„The cabins are closed. It’s not THAT high. It shouldn’t be a problem. I think.“ He smiled down at you, wrinkling his eyes but he could not conceal the tension that kept his body kind of stiff. But if he was willing to go…  
You inwardly jumped about a mile. Thank god! Well, you would have gone alone but it was more fun to do something like this together. And who knew, maybe you planned to give him a smooch while you were in there too?  
You heart was racing by now. The thought of this was enough to send your system into overload again.  
„Great! I’m glad you’ll come with me. Thank you for biting the bullet here.“  
You got the the Ferris wheel and climbed into the first cabin that was unoccupied, sitting down beside each other.  
Then the door slid close and it began moving.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're having a great time together, but all good things have come to an end, don't they?
> 
> Warning: mostly exlicit language and/ or implied adult situations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta'd, all typos are mine and will be corrected when detected. :)  
Kind of long-ish chapter, I'm sorry. I got carried away. But I didn't want to split it up again, so here go with a little more than the previous ones.  
Not every chapter will be like that.
> 
> Enjoy! :)

Connor held tightly onto a handle by his side, his knuckles turning white, LED bright red. You knew he did this only for you and you felt a little bad for him.  
„Thank you so much for this! I know it takes a lot of effort for you to be here.“  
„It’s alright. We won’t be in here forever. I can manage a few minutes of accelerated pump speed and being scared stiff“, he joked.  
You laughed at that, wanting to take his hand, squeeze it for reassurance.  
Instead you pointed out of the window.  
„Wow, look at the view“, you tried to take his mind of the fact, that you were going higher by the second, stopping every once in the while so that every cabin could have a look at the highest point.  
„I bet we can see the whole city when we get to the top! With the nice weather and all…“  
„Most likely.“  
You went quite for a while, enjoying the view as the fair slowly got smaller under you and snapped a picture with your phone.  
And then you were on top, getting a good view of the whole fair and the city. A change of perspective never hurt anyone did it?

„Aww, look at that“, you beamed and pointed in the general direction of the entrance. The cherry blossom trees lining the whole avenue. The sky showed it’s most beautiful colors from pink to orange and from yellow to purple. Dusk was slowly falling. It looked amazing from where you were, like a picture from an old postcard. The city lights were standing out against the quickly darkening sky.  
„I can see it“, the terse answer came from beside you.  
You glanced over to Connor, smirking a little at how rigid he sat but he was looking where you pointed. That poor guy.  
„I’m so happy you invited me, Connor. Really. Coming here was the best idea“, you said still looking out the window.  
„I’m glad you feel that way.“ Oh, his sentences got a longer, was he loosening up a little? You smirked.  
„It’s so beautiful“, you mumbled, snapping another picture.  
„Yeah… stunningly beautiful“, he whispered oh so softly.  
You whipped your head around. Connor was not looking out the window anymore. He had his gaze directed at you.  
  
A little lightheaded you felt your cheeks turn bright red at his attention, swallowing hard.  
„Connor…“, you were a little breathless. No, not a little. A lot! Like you had just run a marathon, barely making it to the finish line.  
„Yes…?“, his voice was hushed.  
Brown eyes searched your face, coming to rest on our slightly parted lips. He bit his lower lip at that, looking nervous like a little school boy.  
The cabin moved again, the view out the window long forgotten.  
‚Please… just kiss me already‘, you prayed for him to read you mind. What was he waiting for? His eyes were glued to your face, flickering to your eyes shortly before settling on your lips again.  
What were you waiting for? Who said a girl could not initiate the first kiss too?  
What held you back from just crossing the small distance between the two of you? What had held you back last friday in front of your house?  
You noticed him clenching his jaw, like he was trying to swallow down his own hesitation.  
You wanted so badly to reach out, trace those perfectly placed freckles on his cheeck with your fingertips and melt against him. Wanted him to put his arms around you and hold on tight while stealing your breath.  
Instead Connor looked away quickly, closing his eyes looking for all the world like he was ashamed.  
And soon, too soon, you reached the start again, the door sliding open and you had to get out on week knees.

Great, another perfectly fine chance and you let it slip again. Argh!  
But Connor had not done anything either. Maybe you misread the signs? Maybe he was not interested you in that way. But why a ‚date‘ then? And what was it with the staring contest?  
„So, uh… you’re good? Everything still in place“, you asked trying to break the uncomfortable silence while you two started walking again.  
„I guess so. But it was worth it...“  
„It really was. Almost felt like flying.“  
Oh be still my beating heart.  
  
Connor smiled shyly at you but then suddenly looked over your head, a twinkle in his eyes. You followed his gaze. A shooting gallery. How could he go from insecure and scared to the bones (or wires in that case) to excited as a little kid on christmas? Boys will be boys, artificial or not.  
„You wanna go“, you asked, glad you at least could talk after so much unresolved tension in that small cabin.  
„Sure. Do you? I mean, only if it’s okay. But I’d like to try my luck.“ His eyebrows were slightly raised.  
„Luck? I don’t think you need any luck on that one.“  
„Probably not, no. Still. I saw something and I want to try and get it.“  
What did he see there that he just had to have? You looked from the toys to the plastic flowers and stuffed animals. You shrugged.  
„Alright then. Go get it! Hit them targets!“  
  
Connor was given a small, cheap looking mostly wooden rifle and he eyed it a little scornfully. Under normal circumstances it surely was made to miss. But not with an android fit to be a sniper, accuracy set to the max, most likely able to shoot blindfolded.  
„You know what, why not use your own gun“, you joked. „Now THAT would be something. Well apart from it being illegal right?“  
„Yes, it certainly would be.“ He smiled. „And besides, I left my gun and badge at home. I don’t like to be armed when I’m off duty“, he explained.  
You were about to answer to that when a few shots rang from the rifle, taking down all the moving targets.  
The stallholder looked up from the magazine he was reading and was confused for a second. Connor laid down the rifle with caution.  
„Well Mister. Looks like it’s your lucky day. You can chose from everything you see“, the weary looking, stocky man grumbled. He did not seem to care one way or another if you won or not though. Or maybe even shoot him while you were at it.  
  
„I’ll take this one“, Connor said confidently pointing to a ball, that turned out to be round little raccoon with big cute eyes and a sakura tucked behind its ear.  
„Showoff“ you joked but you had to admit, you were impressed. He made it look like it was no big deal. And for him it probably was not.  
„If you’ve got it, flaunt it“, he retorted playfully, holding out the stuffed animal, looking expectantly up at you.  
„Here you go!“  
„For me?“  
Awww, such a sweetie. You looked at the furry ball, a smile forming on your lips.  
„Thank you, it looks so cute! Almost has your eyes too“, you beamed up at him and again your mouth was faster than your brain. You needed to do something about that.  
„Well, I just saw it and thought you might like it. Plus it’s something to remeber this day by.“  
What a sweet gesture, you thought, holding the raccoon close to you, squishing it to you chest.  
„I do like it. Very much so. But I could never forget this day, Connor. Not in a million years.“

The sun had set about half an hour ago and it was getting more and more crowded. Not bad for a week night you thought.  
The little raccoon was safely placed in your bag and Connor and you strolled further down the streets of the fair.  
„So, is this something you do for fun on a regular basis“, you asked Connor while sproadically looking at the stalls on your way.  
„No, not regularly. Actually... not ever“, he admitted reluctantly.  
„I’m not the kind of guy to go out much. I often work late and get out of the precinct when the city is already mostly asleep.“  
„So what do you do for fun then?“  
He pondered over the question.  
„Nothing I guess. I’ve never… really considered to engage in any activities apart from work“, he answered sheepishly.  
„Wow… I mean… That sounds kinda lonely“, you retorted quietly, looking up at his profile. Hah! You were one to talk about lonely!  
He looked sad, like he just now realised that he had missed out on something important.  
„For you it may seem like that. I mean, you are dependant on social interactions. All humans are. Me, I’m not. I have never known it any other way. Fulfilling my task and returning back to CyberLife for repair, charging, stasis, you name it. I can’t miss what I’ve never known.“ A small smile playing on his lips, trying to reassure you.  
How could he smile at that? It sounded heartbreaking to you. And a little like he had told you not the whole truth. He must have had someone important in his life, did he not? All the more since he had become deviant.  
„Somehow I think you’re withholding information here, detective“, you tried it with humour.  
His eyebrows shot up at that, he tried to look unimpressed.  
„You think?“  
„Yep. And I will get to the bottom of it“, you promised.  
„Good luck with that…“  
Somehow you felt that this was the end of that conversation. Clearly Connor did not want to talk about it and you would not want to pressure him now.  
God, what a poor soul. He was very sensitive, at least from what you could tell, picking up little details other might miss, finding joy in the simple things. You could not believe that he was still just that analytical robot he once might have been.  
„You know, you can tell me anything, right? I won’t judge“, you offered, feeling like it was the right thing to offer solace should he ever need it.  
Connor glanced down at you, the corners of his mouth turning upward slightly.  
„I know.“

It was nearing 10pm and soon your time together would be up. You carriage would be a pumpkin yet again.  
„Oh, look at that“, you pointed to a stall that was an overload of shades of pink and sweet smells. That smell alone could possibly make your teeth fall out, but oh well, did you care?  
„Real cotton candy! Connor, I need to at least have one. It’s against the rules to not have a cotton candy at a fair!“  
„Is that so?“, he eyed you curiously, a knowing grin on his face, amusement in his voice.  
„Well, what do I know? I’m just a plastic cop. If you say this is the custom then I’ll just have to trust and believe you, right?“  
„Exactly.“  
„Then go ahead and get yourself a pink cloud on a stick.“  
And so you happily went to do just that.

„It’s actually stupid how something simple like this can have such an impact on you, you know“, balancing the treat carefully away from the stall. You ripped a small piece off of the cotton candy and let it melt in your mouth.  
Connor stood beside you, amazed and amused and at the intensity you were savouring the sweet snack with, the way your eyes lit up.  
When you were almost done you wanted to bite off the last bits from the wooden pick. Well, needless to say, not your best idea ever.  
You managed to spread the sticky, sweet mass to the whole area around your mouth. Oh god, how that must have looked like.  
„Sorry, I look like a candy monster“, you tried to cover up the feeling of having made a fool out of yourself but Connor still had this amused look in his eyes.  
„Oh believe me, I’ve seen worse.“  
  
You finally had found a tissue in your bag and cleaned off the mess on your face before tucking it away where the melted sugar could do no harm.  
„Oookay… Well good as new I guess.“  
Connor tilted his head, a kind of concentrated look gracing his face.  
„No, not quite. May I…?“  
Not waiting for your response he had set into motion, your brain to slow to catch up on what he was about to do to react properly.  
Connor’s hand ghosted over your cheek, almost cupping but not even remotely touching. Wiping away the last remnant of the cotton candy disaster from the corner of your mouth with his thumb. He brought his finger up to his lips and licked it off guilelessly.  
You gulped, eyes wide, not sure if you had hallucinated or if that had happened for real, blinking faster than usual. Your throat going instantly dry, jaw a little slack and your thoughts drifting into a whole different direction. The picture of the way his lips closed around his thumb, tongue firmly stroking his finger pad once.  
He scrunched up his face slightly.  
„Pure saccharine… And this is supposed to be delicious? It must be sickly sweet.“  
Your mouth opened but no words would come out, your heart threatening to burst through your ribcage.  
Wow. Just wow. Did he even know what he had just done?  
„Ehm… y-yeah, it’s sweet. But… but good. Very good.“ You started babbling, no coherent thought in your head anymore.  
„So candy really is dandy… Okay. I’ll remember that.“ He grinned proudly at his newest discovery. Such a pure, innocent boy.  
Then a heartbeat later.  
„Are you feeling alright? You’re heartrate ist spiking…“ Concerned look directed at your unmoving form.  
„Yeah, yeah, fine. I’m… dandy.“

***

With a heavy heart you both agreed to let this evening come to an end, it being in the middle of the week and you having to get up bright and early tomorrow for work.  
If it weren’t for that you would have gladly stayed here forever, just being in each others company, getting to know the other, sharing thoughts and smiles.  
„I’ll call a taxi. It’s way faster than taking the train back. And more comfortable“, he stated.  
You were glad he did. To be honest, your feet did hurt a little from walking around the fair all day. But you would not mind walking a little more with him.  
„Okay, sounds good to me.“  
  
You made your way to the entrance slowly, delaying the end you your date with the handsome guy next to you.  
Other people had the similar idea of leaving, passing you on their way.  
A group of three men was walking by you, hooting and laughing way too loud. Apparently they could not hold their liquor too well.  
  
"Oh, would you look at that, Miles! They even let the plastics run around this fuckin' fair now acting like they own the place!" One of the men hollered for his friends and many more to hear. The man looked like he had not showered in a good long while, clothes a little too dirty, hair in a few oily strands to his chin.  
You rolled your eyes, looking to Connor and silently asking him to go in any other direction, clutching at his arm.  
Connor just stood there, a frown on his face.  
"Hey, gentlemen, please keep it down. This is a public place", he tried to talk them down.  
"Uuuuh, you hear that? Gentlemen? I give you gentlemen, bastard!" His friends laughing in the background.  
"You have no right to be talking to me, stupid puppet! First you pricks start to beat up and kill humans and then you have the audacity to want rights of your own? Make yourselves the victims of society?"  
  
"Connor, please. Let's just go...", you asked, fear rising up in your belly.  
He just looked at you like he was trying to determine his next steps.  
But nasty-guy was already ranting on.  
"And we shoved it all up your ass, all understandingly and 'boo-hoo you poor thingies'. And this is how you thank us? Mocking us? Dressing like us?", every word held pure venom, bottled up anger only waiting to be let out.  
"You take our jobs because you think you're so fucking smart and efficient. HAH! And now you take our woman too, asshole?"  
You had enough of that.  
"I would not be talking to the detective like that if you don't want to spend the rest of the month in a cell at the DPD", you said, trying to make him back down.  
"A detective", he jeered.  
"Ha ha ha! A detectiiiive. This is too funny. Then where's your badge, pinocchio? They even let you run around with a real gun or is that a plastic toy too?"  
His friends guffawed at that.  
Well, try to reason with idiots. You should have seen that coming.  
That man looked at you then, raging fire behind his eyes that made you shrink into yourself a little.  
A drunken, angry man could be dangerous. All the more when he was accompanied by his equally intoxicated friends, wanting to have a laugh and a fist fight.  
"Tell me sweetheart... Does that plastic dick give it to you good? Fuck your brains out, huh? You're his plastic cock whore or what?!"  
"Stop it right there!", Connor snapped, eyes dark and dangerous by now, hands balled into tight fists, LED swirling deep red.  
"You're so disgusting! This is against nature! You damn well know that, right? You should get yourself a real man who teaches you some manners."

The man surged forward and lunged at Connor, who had shoved you off to the side just in time before that man tried to land punches on Connors body and face, failing miserably.  
Only spurred on by miSsing his target he flailed his arms, angry noises falling from his mouth.  
“Connor no!“, you yelled. But he was already the center of attention.  
Connor dodged every punch and kick and almost effortlessly and landed a few hits of his own without doing too much damage, hopefully. Damn, he was quick!

The two friends wanted in on the fun, trying to tip Connor off balance and throwing their fists at him but to no avail. One of them yanked Connor by the jacket, making him spin and duck, shooting out his leg, making the guy tumble to the ground with a loud „Oof!“  
It almost looked like a rehearsed stunt scene the way Connor elegantly moved and evaded the attacks fluidly.  
You would have been impressed (and aroused) had you not been afraid he could get seriously hurt, putting your hand over your mouth in shock.

Connor elbowed the man charging at him from behind in the chest and bringing up his forearm to collide with nasty-guys chin, sending him to the floor.  
The three men groaned, moving in pain on the pavement while Connor stood in the middle, ready to pounce again if needed.  
He went over to the one who had been pouring his frustration out, crouching down next to him, glaring.  
„I advise you to stay outta my way in the future, scumbag. Don’t you ever talk to a woman like that again, you hear me? I won’t be so easy on you the next time. And stop drinking... it doesn’t become you.“  
His eyes mere slits, holding nothing but disgust as he got up slowly and eyed the moaning messes on the floor. Sirens were going off in the distance.  
„I think it’s time we get going“, Connor came over to you. „Or I’ll have a lot of explaining to do tonight“, he stated and lightly touched your upper arm to direct you further away from the fair ground.  
„Okay?“ You more asked than answered but complied and let Connor steer you in the direction of the taxi stand where your car was already waiting.

***

The two of you got into the taxi and sat down in the backseat. Connor ran a palm over his face, exhaling loudly.  
„Wow, that was…“ He trailed off.  
„Yeah“, you agreed quietly.  
„I’m sorry. I didn’t want this day to end like that. You shouldn’t have seen all that.“  
He looked at you, a sorrowful expression on his face.  
„It’s not you fault. You couldn’t have done anything different. Besides it looked kinda stunning you going all John Wick on them.“  
He scrunched up his face for a second.  
„Oh, I could and should have. My boss is probably going to flip his lid tomorrow. And so will Hank.“  
He looked lost and helpless as he stared out of the window, LED blinking rapidly and yellow.  
„They’re not gonna fire you are they?“ Big eyes looking up at him. You would never forgive yourself if he lost his job because he was out with you. And in the wrong place at the wrong time it seemed.  
„I sincerely hope not. Though it’s frowned upon if a cop is involved in a brawl, as you can imagine…“  
„It won’t be that bad.“ Out of reflex you grabbed his hand, squeezing it for reassurance and comfort, smiling sadly at him. He flinched slightly at the sudden contact but did not pull away.  
„You couldn’t let them beat you up either. Those days are over.“  
He huffed and looked your way then, a brave smile on his lips.  
„You’re something else.“  
„If they give you hell at work for defending yourself and me, you tell them to come and ask me. I can second your story anytime and so can a bunch of other people.“  
Connor contemplated that for a second.  
„Can we talk about something… not that?“, he asked, looking at you pleadingly.  
„Yes, of course. Sure we can.“

A heavy silence fell over, the only sound the whirring of the autonomous taxi motor taking you home. You did not know what to say. And clearly Connor was deep in thought too, so you did not want to push him into chit-chatting right now.  
Sometime later you drove down the familiar streets of your neighbourhood, the end of your wonderful day drawing nearer with big steps.

„So… well I think it was awesome today“, you commented and pulled Connor out of his daze.  
„Yes, it was. Apart from me feeling like dying up there in that Ferris wheel it was perfect.“ He smiled.  
„It wasn’t that bad now, was it?“  
„Well…“  
„Oh god, I feel so bad now for forcing you in there“, you buried your face in your hands, smirking despite feeling sorry.  
„It’s okay. You didn’t force me. I could have just stayed on the ground, but I wanted to see the city from up there too.“ Looking at you sideways.  
The taxi had stopped almost a minute before you decided to open the door.

Connor got out of the car with you, same as last time and accompanied you to your door again, watiting for you to unlock it.  
„I have to say, you’re full of surprises“, you started, turning around to face him, smiling.  
What you meant by surprises you were not sure yourself. The cute idea of going to a spring fair or the fact that he could fight like a trained assassin. Or that sweet little raccoon sitting in your bag.  
„Thanks… I guess“, he grinned sheepishly, scratching the back of his head.  
„And you’re full of great ideas to show a girl a good time“, you chuckled, earning an honest smile from him with that.  
Oh, those dimples were showing again. Oh oh oh.  
„I’m glad you liked it. I would repeat this any day with you“, he admitted.

Wow, he was standing real close now. Was it getting kind of hot out here? And where was all the oxygen? It was suddenly very hard to breathe properly.  
„Me too. And I hope we will do something together again sometime soon?“  
„I’d love to“, bowing his head a little and looking at you from under his lashes expectantly like he wanted to say something but never did.

Was this the cue you’ve been waiting for? Why not just risk it and take the shot?  
To hell with it! You had been patient and modest your whole life, been a nice girl to not make a fuss when you had been wronged or degraded by anyone. And where had that got you?  
You were done waiting for someone to make your life better. To realise that you deserved something better than what you were getting.  
You had to be the architect of your own fortune.  
And for once take what you so badly craved.

„Connor…“, you whispered barely audible, biting your lip and inching closer, inhaling his intoxicating cologne that smelled like fresh lemons and bergamot, letting your bag drop to the floor as your hand came up to rest flat on his stomach.  
„Hm…“, he mumbled, gazing deeply, longingly into your eyes while your hand was trailing upwards to his chest.  
He lifted his hand up to cup your jawline, splaying his fingers of the back of your neck, tangling in your hair, rubbing his thumb lightly over your jawbone.  
You tilted your head upwards, pulse racing, when he leaned down.  
He met you halfway, eyes closed, long dark lashes resting on his cheeks. You were most definately not prepared for this, no matter how many times you imagined it or how badly you had wanted it. The sparks going off inside of you, the heat flooding through your belly, the lightheadedness taking over your mind. Your eyes closed too at the sudden sensation. OH. MY. GOODNESS.  
Delicately and almost shy, his soft and warm lips tasted yours, brushing over them oh so feathery, sucking lightly on your bottom lip.  
It was comforting in a way you did not know the right word for. The most wholesome feeling ever.  
His tongue darted out to lick tenderly, asking for permission to part your lips. You happily complied, moaning delightedly into his mouth, letting his tongue tangle with yours. Boy, he aced everything apparently!  
The intensity of his sweet seduction increased, Connor getting a little more confident and deepening the kiss, almost hungrily. You would gladly promise him the world if he just kept on kissing you like this for like… forever.  
Your knees almost gave out when he did THAT thing with his tongue, moaning into your mouth, sending a jolt of electricity through you.  
You put both your hands under his leather jacket and around his waist, bunching up his t-shirt on his back, looking for leverage.  
He kept his balance by bringing his other hand up to steady himself on the wooden door behind you, pushing you up against it carefully, pressing your bodies together.  
Maybe he was trying to kiss you into a willingless mess? Well, he was on the right track, that much was for certain. But sooner or later you had to break away from him for air.  
Savouring a few last desperate strokes of his tongue against yours, you pulled away, panting heavily, breathing ragged. You felt the heat burning in your cheeks.  
Connor laid his forehead against yours, enjoying your breath on his face, his stray strand of hair tickling your skin slightly.

„Wow“, you grinned, looking up to see his eyes were still closed, mouth hanging open just a bit, gasping for air. Such a handsome face!  
His hand left the door and came to rest on your hip, stroking lazy circles.  
„That… Oh my. That was intense… Whoa“, you mumbled.  
„Uh huh“, was all he answered.  
You rubbed his flanks comfortingly, feeling his chest rise and fall, a quick thudding flashing through his upper body. Was his thirium pump regulator acting out?  
„The things you do to me, (Y/N)“, he smiled, opening this beautiful brown chocolate eyes of his finally, gazing right into yours, his eyes full of wonder.  
„You’re one to talk“, you retorted, dopily grinning now.  
„Do you think… I mean… Would it be okay if… we did this again?“, he asked innocently. But there had been nothing innocent about this kiss.  
You have had sex less intimate than that.  
„Anytime, Connor. Anytime!“  
He searched your lips again, less frantic than the first time but just as addicitve and fierce.  
This must be what heaven felt like, you mused. Where was the catch in all of that?

Stroking your cheek with his palm, Connor pulled away again, cheeks flushed a light baby blue.  
Your lips must have been swollen from what you could tell but actually you could not bring yourself to care. That was a fair price to pay for having that guy kissing the living daylights out of you.  
Licking your lips you withdrew your hands from him.  
„Do you…ehm.. wannacomeupstairswithme?“, you babbled, suddenly afraid of your own courage.  
Connor regarded you for a moment, like he was weighing his options and then tilted his head.  
„I… I don’t think that this is such a good idea“, he apologised.  
You could not help that your face fell a little at that. Of course. It was way too soon.  
„I … Sorry, I don’t mean it like that! It’s not that I don’t want to. It’s just… I need a little more time. Figure a few things out first“, he went on.  
„I get it. Yeah, me too I guess. It was a stupid idea, really. Sorry, for bringing it up and making things awkward.“  
You looked at your feet, embarassed.  
„Don’t do that. There’s nothing for you to be sorry about. My system is just on overload... I could not do justice to you right now. Rain check?“  
You smiled up at him a little self-concious but tried to nod confidently.  
„Rain check“, you agreed.  
  
Neither of you moving from your spot, staring at each other, sharing smiles and affectionate glances.  
„Well then… have a good night, (Y/N). And talk to you tomorrow?“, Connor asked with a shaky voice.  
„Yeah, talk to you tomorrow. And thank you, Connor. For everything. Good night!“  
You leaned in once more, giving the stunned android boy a short and sweet peck on the lips before turning around reluctantly, unlocking your door.  
Before closing it completly you looked at him once more. He had a glint in his eyes, one side of his mouth turned upwards prettily.  
„Will you be waiting again? Until the lights come on?“, you smirked.  
„I always will“, he smirked back.  
  
Then you closed the door and went upstairs, beeline for your window. You waved lightly at him.  
You could see the smile on his face even from a distance before he raised his hand and went back to the taxi. Watching his retracting form, you thought that if this was all a dream, you never wanted to wake up again.  
Squealing and squeaking you dropped to the couch, overexcited from the events of today.  
„Someone please pinch me“, you grinned into the pillow like a maniac.  
Surely another night without sleep was ahead. You could manage that.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The next day at the precinct is not Connor's best day ever. Plus he has to tell Hank a lot more than he intended to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a short and little filler inbetween.  
Still I hope you like it.
> 
> Not beta'd again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

Connor arrived at the precinct the next morning, a lump in his throat. He knew that the word about last night had been spreading around. He could tell by the many messages he received from Hank but chose not to open.

Standing outside he gathered his senses and finally found no more excuses to not go in.

He headed directly for his desk, making his way past a few other detectives and officers when suddenly he heard a slow clap from one specific person, making him stop in his tracks. He did not need to turn around and look who it came from.

"Very impressive, tin can! That your thing now?", Gavin laughed shortly, clearly amused at the situation Connor had maneuvered himself into.

"I have to say, I didn't believe you had it in you - beating up a bunch of people for fun. Didn’t think you were such a cold-blooded asshole anymore. Hah! Way to go!"

Turning around then, glaring at Gavin but not saying anything.

"Well, get a move on! The captain is just dying to talk to you. Good luck with that. Or... maybe not. Prick."

Snickering he left for god knows where, weaseling out of doing some actual work.

Connors shoulders sagged. Shit! So really everyone knew about it already.

Exhaling once, he felt beat before he had even said a single word in his defense.

He could see Hank sitting at his desk, looking anything but happy. But truth be told, when did he really look happy at this time of day?

His systems told him to flee the scene, get as far away from the situation as possible.

But instead his feet carried him over to where his partner was seated, looking intensly at a bunch of papers spread out on his table.

Upon hearing foot steps, Hank looked up at him, aghast and clearly disappointed. Oh no. Could he not have been just angry?

"Connor, what the fuck", Hank rumbled.

"Hank, I can explain", he started but was cut off by Fowler shouting his name. He closed his eyes slowly.

"Connor! In my office now! Hank, you too!"

Hank groaned, disgruntled and cursing under his breath, but got up from the chair anyway, walking over to Fowlers office. Connor stood for a moment longer, helpless, a sad look in his eyes. Then he followed, doing the walk of shame.

Not his best day ever.

**

Fowler ripped him a new one, going on about responsibility and his role model function as a detective at the DPD, shouting at the top of his lungs.

"I can't believe it! You know you're being more closely monitored than all of us together, right? People still think I'm a mad man for letting you stay with us anyway!"

Fowler looked him in the eyes, furious and fuming.

"What were you thinking?! Did something snap in your programming? Do we need to let you get checked over for malfunctioning at CyberLife?!"

Connor looked up at that, defeated and alarmed at the name of the company that still sent shvers down his spine.

"No, please", he almost whimpered. But he wanted to say something entirely different. Would it matter if he did? What good would it do if he justified himself now? Apparently everbody had already made up their minds about the situation before he could explain himself. He felt a pang to his chest. He thought at least Hank would have backed him up.

"Don't you threaten him like that, Jeffrey! There's probably a good reason he beat the shit out of those assholes."

Hank interfered sternly, voice icy.

"You know Connor. He wouldn't do this to get a kick out of it, for fucks sake!"

"Maybe so. But the DA asking a lot of questions I don't have the answers to right now, Hank." Calming down next to none, pinching the bridge of his nose, Fowler adressed Connor again.

"So, is there something you want to tell me before I send you home until further notice, Connor?"

"What, no! You can't do that!"

Fear arose in him. Anything but not decomission him!

"I just defended someone. Those inebriated men were offending a person at the fair and I simply intervened. They started the brawl! I merely ended it."

Fowler huffed.

"And you couldn't have done that with breaking a few less bones? Godfuckingdamnit Connor! One of those men had to go into surgery! Maybe he will never be able to use his left arm again!"

Connor looked to the floor, ashamed. He had not meant to harm beyond repair. He had only done what he thought was right.

Apparently no one shared his opinion on that.

"You know what I think? Hank, you're a bad influence on Wonder Boy." 

Fowler sounded exhausted by all this.

"What the fuck..." Hanks features derailed, brows closely knit together, incredulous.

Fowler held up a hand, to silence Hank, which miraculously worked. That was a first.

"Don't. Even. Start. With all of your tantrums. Of course he'll pick up on that! We can call ourselves lucky if we're not getting sued for that incident. If we will, I'll offer both of your asses on a silver plate. I can only cover for you so much! Connor, at this point I'm not even sure if I made the right decision, letting you work with us..."

Ouch!

Connor closed his eyes. That had hurt tremendously.

He thought he had place here, felt accepted for the most part, trusted. Clearly he misjudged.

"Just get out. I don't wanna see any of your noses where they don't belong anymore. Keep your feet still. And Hank, keep your fosterling in check the next time!"

Hank cursed when he left for his desk, insulting everything and everyone.

"So... that means I get to stay", Connor asked quietly, hands still folded neatly before him.

"For now... Don't pull a stunt like that again, you hear me? And now out! Dismissed." A vague wave of his hand in the direction of the door signaled the end of the discussion.

Connor nodded curtly and left the office, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy.

He thought he felt the stare of ever pair of eyes on the back of his head.

Sliding into his seat, wishing he could just vanish into thin air.

He had not felt that mortified in quite some while and thought he never would again. That all of this lay behind him. Well, so much for that.

Hank rubbed his temple, avoiding eye contact at first. He probably was looking on how to start this uncomfortable conversation.

„You didn’t tell him everything did you“, he finally stated, not even asking, voice gravely.

Connor looked away, not daring to say anything.

What was he supposed to say? He could not tell Hank the whole story of yesterdays events. He did not know how and where to start.

He had not even told him how he had spent his friday evening. This was messed up.

„Well, I think you did the right thing back there. Bashing up those pricks. They deserved it“, Hank smirked a little, careful to not let Fowler see.

Connor could not smirk back, he was too deep in conflict with himself right now.

„Listen, son, I know you like to take the weight of the world on your shoulders, but you have to learn how to not give a shit about a few things, alright? Fowler won’t let his golden boy leave without a fight. And I sure as hell won’t either. I’d turn my badge in before I let you down over something like that.“

Connor looked shyly over to Hank, a faint smile ghosting over his face, making him look more miserable than relieved.

„It says a lot about you that you defend some stranger on the streets you know? Helping that person who couldn’t help themselves… Most people don’t have that much courage in them. Don’t ever apologize for baring your teeth and doing your job... What were you doing at this fair thingy anyway?“

Sighing deeply, Connor looked back at his desk, the pens, the tablet. Anything but Hanks face.

He had not defended just some random stranger but how to tell him about you?

„Connor? Connor! Damnit, snap out of it! HEY, CONNOR!“ Hank was snipping his fingers to get his attention.

He knew he was in a bit of a situation here, that Hank would not let go of the topic.

Glancing sideways he started off cautiously.

„It wasn’t some stranger“, he admitted sheepishly.

That Hank was taken aback was the understatement of the year.

„So it was a friend? Someone from Jericho? You’re finally on good terms with them again?“, ever the lieutenant, questioning him.

Connor shook his head.

„No. No, I’m not. I…“

He hesitated. His thoughts were jumbled, pump regulator speed increasing.

„Just spit it out, kid! It can't be that bad. You’re not running around with drug dealers are you?“, Hank tried to joke, covering up his concern about what it was that Connor felt not confident enough to tell him. He told him everything. Or so he thought.

It was no use stalling this further, so with a quiet voice Connor began.

„I’m kinda… seeing someone…“

That was it. It was out! Out in the open and Connor felt himself go dizzy, thirium pumping at an unhealthy speed through his system.

Hanks jaw nearly dropped to the floor, eyes narrowing in disbelief. He swallowed hard.

„Seeing someo-... as... as in… dating?“

Hank stammered. Connor knew that Hank was praying right now that it was not… dating.

Looking down at his lap guiltily he nodded.

„Uh huh.“

„What the actual fuck...“ Hank put a palm over his face, groaning, internally screaming and clearly done with the world. Still he had to ask.

„Does she… did she even know it was a date for you?“

Hank was at loss for words.

"ObVIOUslY?!"

Connor scrunched up his face in disgust. What was Hank implying here? Two people going on a date and only one knew about it? He was not a creep!

„Is she a human?“

„I don’t see the how that is relevant...?“

„It is a ‚she‘ though right?“

„HANK!“ Connor screeched, incredulously looking at Hank by now.

„I mean… she… not that you’ll get into trouble. That you want more than she does, you know. Oh, for the love of god… Do I have to spell it out for you?!“

„No.“ Connor answered way too calm, a sincere ‚are-you-out-of-your-mind-look’ gracing his features, brows nearly touching. He was not stupid either.

„Good. Well, then…“

Hank exhaled, relieved it was this harmless. Maybe it was just a crush that would blow over soon.

Then Connor almost whispered.

„I kissed her…“

„WHAT?!“

It was Hanks turn to screech, flipping his head around to face him.

„Twice.“

„Dear god, help us all…“

„It was nice... She is nice.“

Connor smiled dopily at that, remembering the kisses from the previous night. He had replayed the memory countless times since then.

„Fucking hell…. My RoboBoy is in love.“ Hank said, really, really wanting to be happy for Connor but... oh god.

Connor felt a slight blush creep up his cheeks, shrugging helplessly.

„What am I gonna do?“, he asked a little flustered.

It was evident that Hank could not process everything he just had heard in the way he needed to. He was at his wits end and not the right person to go talk to for relationship advice. Still, he was all Connor had.

„You did this to yourself, son. Just try and do what’s natural, you know? And just be yourself. Or… maybe don’t.“ Smirking.

„Not helping, Hank. Now I feel kinda insulted on top of it all.“

„Well, you should“. Nervous laughter filling the space between them.

„Hank? Seriously... What am I gonna do?“ Connor looked lost, eyebrows raised slighlty, helplessly.

Hank exhaled deeply, looking for the right words to a talk he did not expect to have anytime soon. Or at all.

„Hope for the best I guess and that it works out. And just…“

Connor saw that it took a lot of effort on Hanks side to say the following sentence.

„Try it. Damnit, Connor, you deserve some normalcy and happiness after all that shit that’s been going down! Just go on and release that moonstruck fool that’s been inside of you all along.“

Hank had to smile at that though he felt torn. On the one hand, Connor had not yet gotten over the events of the past few months. Hopefully he had not bitten off more than he could chew. On the other hand, maybe it would do him good, distract his thoughts, give him back some of his confidence.

„You **wanna** try it, don’t you?“, Hank asked intently, looking him straight in the eye.

Connor nodded shyly.

„Yes. Very much so.“

„Then go for it. You’ve come this far already. She must really like you.“

„I guess.“

Snorting Hank went on.

„You guess. Hah! Oh dear, god. I should’ve never let you move out! I knew I shouldn’t have!“

„Too late for regrets now.“

„Yeah, yeah…. So? When do I meet the girl who is wooing my boy?“

„Wooing? I don’t think…“

„Quit yer yapping and show me a picture of her already", Hank smiled.

„Alright.“

Connor, nervous as hell, held up his shaking palm to Hank, showing a snapshot of you from his memory. It was you smiling in the cabin of the Ferris wheel.

„Wow. I’m proud of you son“, Hank grinned. „She really is pretty.“

Glad, Hank accepted his choice (not that he needed him to, he made his own choices now!) he grinned back at him. Hank narrowed his eyes at him.

„The real question is..."

Connor waited, wide eyed and tense as to what Hanks objection might be.

"What’s she doing with a goofball like you?“

Connor opened his mouth to protest, but Hank left him sitting at his desk, dumbfounded and confused, heading for the cafeteria grinning broadly. Damn, Connor was "growing up".

He needed a strong, black coffee now to digest the news of today. Preferably with a shot of scotch.

Both of them did not hear Fowler shouting at them to do their fucking work for once.

**

You sat on the couch, getting home from work an hour prior, still walking on air.

The last evening had taken a deep impact on you, made you feel something else than only sorry for your whole mess that was your life. Maybe he was your knight in shining armour, stupid as it sounded. And the beast he saved you from was yourself.

Your phone lay on the coffee table. Connor wanted to get in touch today but so far nothing had happened. He could just got held up at work today. You could imagine that it was not easy making exact plans with being in on-call duty in his line of work.

Biting on your thumb you thought about calling him instead of just waiting. Or was that too needy? Maybe he wanted to think things through first. He said he had a lot to process after last night, sort through a few things first. Maybe he came to a conclusion you would not like.

Or he simply did not have the time yet. You know that the brawl yesterday would certainly be a topic today for him. Uh oh. Another reason to keep our feet still a little while longer.

'Don't paint it black already', you told yourself.

Picking your phone up, fiddling with it a little.

But why not show him that you cared? Last time he had taken initiative, you could just return the favor.

You nodded, breathing out deeply, heart racing.

Now or never!

Searching through your contacts, you dialed his number. After four long seconds he picked up.

"Hey, (Y/N)", you could hear the warmth and joy in his voice by that few words alone.

"Hi, Connor", you smiled and continued.

"I hope you're well. How was work?" Smooth. Yeah, totally not.

"It was... not as bad as I thought. But not as good as hoped."

"Okay. But you're still at the precinct right? Still a detective?"

"Yes, for now at least. It's... complicated", he trailed off.

Oh?

"Well, ehm... I just... I wanted to say, that I couldn't stop thinking about last night", you finally admitted, changing the topic awkwardly, your cheeks already a deep, deep pink.

He chuckled.

"Me too. I... couldn't stop thinking about you either."

BOOM!

You squealed inwardly. Gosh, you had it bad. So, so bad.

"I'd like to repeat this. As soon as possible", he eagerly said, then taking a step back.

"But if you don't..."

"I do", you interrupted him nervously.

"Very soon. You have something in mind?", you asked.

Connor contemplated that for a second.

"How about a movie? Is that too unimaginative?"

"Not at all. I'd like to go see a movie with you." Grinning again.

"What are you're plans for tomorrow? Fridays are kind of our thing, right?" He laughed.

"Sure! Yes, that's perfect. I do like spending my fridays with you."

You agreed on meeting at 7pm, Connor would text you the address. He had a good idea just where to take you.

You talked on for a little while, just tiptoeing around each other like teenagers, who did not know what to do with all this emotions all at once and not wanting to say the wrong things.

When you hung up, you were still smiling.

This seemed to be start of something really wonderful.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another date with the too cute for his own good detective android.
> 
> ***  
I suck at summaries, sorry. But we’ll get there. Until then a little more shameless and brainless fluff. Still I hope you like it. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

You sat down and the trailers began to flicker across the big screen a few minutes later. You liked this theater. It was old school, like they used to be years ago. Not one those new and enormous adventure multiplex cinemas with holographics and 4D experience.  
You could simply sit in your comfy, red seat and enjoy watching a movie instead of being entertained with all your senses which was kind of exhausting sometimes.  
You liked that Connor had chosen this place and that you were mostly to yourself. A handful other people had joined you, scattering around the cinema hall.  
You held on tightly to your small bag of sweet popcorn (what was a movie without really?) and were already halfway through it before the film even began (every single time!).  
Connor held onto his thirium slurpie, sipping from time to time. To be perfectly frank, you did not even know something like that existed. Beverages for androids… you were a little surprised. Then again, how would you have known?  
But it made you feel less awkward somehow, not being the only one stuffing soda and sweets into yourself everytime you two went out together.  
Everytime. How that sounded. It was only your third date today. And yet you had felt more drawn to him already than to your last boyfriend who was, to say the least, a complete ass.

You two had decided on some funny adventure/action movie instead of the clichée rom-com.  
Now and then you whispered to each other about little things in the movie, commenting on it, laughing about something stupid and the like.  
Halfway into the movie Connor asked for a single piece of popcorn, to try it. He was a curious boy.  
You told him exactly that and he just smiled, saying that he needed something sweet because he did not get to taste anything sweet since he kissed you goodnight on wednesday. The smile on his lips reaching his eyes, making them twinkle even in the dark. He was playful again. You really liked that!  
Grinning from ear to ear you offered the tidbit to him, letting Connor reach into the bag and pull out a few sugarcoated pieces to taste.  
He opened his mouth to delicately place the popcorn between his teeth, tip of his tongue showing and damn… You needed to get your mind out of the gutter.  
He just nodded, looking your way and licking his lips. Apparently your android boy had a sweet tooth!  
Your android boy? What?!

Your heart thumping faster, skipping a beat or two, and you felt yourself blushing. What on earth was it with him? He was such a charmer, but not in a way that made you roll your eyes and think of a certain ‘reality’ tv show of a guy every girl wantedt to date and that made you want to heave out the lunch from last weeks tuesday.  
It was much more subtle than that, sophisticated even. His good looks of course not hurting either. Or maybe it just had been while for you since had found someone who was just so… right for you, forgetting how it felt like. But he matched you in so many ways. The same humour, his way of thinking, how you would already finish each others sentences sometimes since you thought exactly the same thing. He was not too full of himself like most of the guys you knew, a real sweetheart down to the core. Thoughtful, gentlemanly. You could go on an on if you had not shut up your brain then and there.  
Of course Connor had told you what he was designed for, integrating with humans and all that, blending in no matter where he was deployed. Why you had never seen another android of his model you did not know. From the way you came to know him he could not have been a shelf warmer (but maybe he could warm up your bed in the foreseeable future?). NOT HELPING AT ALL!  
You kind of thought there was more to him than he let on. That he had not told you the whole story, something flickering in his eyes only for a microsecond before it was gone again.  
But there would be a time for everything. And since you got along so well you were fairly certain this would not be your last meeting.

Trying to concentrate on the movie again you cleared your thoughts off everything Connor-related and almost jumped out of your skin a few minutes later when Connor fake-yawned and you felt an arm snake behind you to rest on your shoulder, holding onto it tenderly.  
NO! He did not just do that! That was just sooo cheasy! But coming from him you settled for the term 'sweet’.  
You had to surpress a laugh, glancing over to him. He had a satisfied little smirk on his face, like he had just accomplished something he had planned for days. And maybe he really had.  
Well, the more you thought about it you had to admit it. It was kind of adorable. You needed to remind yourself that he probably had zero experience in that kind of behaviour and most likely had researched beforehand (then where had that boy learned to kiss like that?!).  
Picking up on his cue you snuggled a little closer to him, arm to flank contact. Was it too much to lay your head on his shoulder now?

Oh, damn it. But you wanted to. It just felt like the thing to do.  
Connor stiffened up a little when you put your head on his shoulder, clearly not anticipating that you would go along but soon he started to relax and rested his cheek on the top your head, thumb stroking your upper arm in lazy circles.  
A warm feeling spreading inside of you, from your head down to your tippy toes.  
Sighing quietly you enjoyed the rest of the movie, just being close.

***

He smiled sheepishly when you got to the lobby, talking about the movie some more.  
„So, you wanna go home or… shall we go out, maybe get you something normal to eat“, he asked.  
„I’m not hungry actually. All that popcorn… I should’ve taken the smallest size come to think of it“, you laughed.  
Connor looked like he wanted to say something but was still looking for the right words in the back of his.  
„But I would like to go out with you, have a drink or something? Let the evening fade away?“  
Connors eyes lit up at that and so you two went to an android friendly bar (no need to repeat an encounter like the one at the spring fair).  
Sitting in a comfy booth you were chattering away about everything and nothing at all.  
Neither of you mentioning your cuddling session during the movie.  
It was not that you were embarassed or ashamed. You really wanted this. You really wanted to be close to Connor, share everything. Thinking about him made you feel all bubbly inside. And when he had kissed you with such a fierceness and hunger you knew that it was more than a simple crush for you. And for him hopefully too.  
But you did not know exactly what he felt for you. You could only hope that it was not just his inexperience at relationships that made him do all these things with you. That he really and genuinely felt the same way you did.  
You had known him for a week now and been on three dates already. It was a little fast for your standards, you had never been someone to form bonds that quickly.  
It was so different with him. It all just came naturally.

Connor had just been talking about a book he had just read and then smiled, looking down at the table shyly.  
„I’m sorry, I’m ranting on and on here. That’s not very polite“, looking up at you from under his lashes, smiling lazily.  
Oh that look! A kind of predatory gleam in his chocolate eyes, almost… challenging.  
That look really made you want him to be VERY impolite to you. In all manners of speaking.  
„No, I like listening to you. You’ve got so much to say. Plus: I really dig your voice“, you smiled back with as much confidence as you could muster.  
He blushed a little.  
„Only my voice?“  
Fishing for compliments, are we, Mr. Anderson?  
„No, not only.“  
You left it at that, smirking at him, pleased with yourself for keeping him hanging on.  
Then he moved his hand across the table, searching yours and covering it softly. You did not pull away, which made him smile and blush even more. He gently intertwined his fingers with yours.  
„I like you“, he breathed out suddenly.  
„I like you a lot.“  
Biting your lip to keep yourself from squeaking out loud and grinning like a Cheshire cat you simply held his intense gaze.  
Starting to caress his fingers slowly.  
“You really are something, Connor”, you whispered.  
Where you wanted to go with that statement…? How would you know?

“You know, I had to tell Hank about our dates”, he began unsurely.  
“He seemed happy for me. And at the same time not. At least I think so.”  
You knew Hank was his partner and in some way surrogate father figure, he told you as much.  
“I don’t know. He just…”, he trailed off  
Tilting your head, you could only imagine what went through his mind right now. Emotions still being fairly new to him. At least these romantic ones.  
“I guess he just wants to make sure that your don’t break your back and rush things you’re not yet ready to deal with. From what I’ve heard he’s protective like that.” Smiling reassuringly.  
“Probably, yes. Well, he wanted to meet you or at least see a picture of you. To know who I’m spending my time with.”  
“Oh dear. And? He’s disappointed because you’re meeting with the secret underground mobster boss?”  
He grinned at you.  
“Something like that. Precisely he said 'You’re too good for me’.”  
You blushed. Well, that could have gone way, way worse.  
“He’ll come around to the idea of me living a 'normal life’, about us I guess.”  
Did he say 'about us’?

Wow, that was… not unexpected per se but it felt funny hearing it out loud. You had not been looking for a relationship to be honest. Lowering your eyes down at the table, trying to hide your insecurity. You did not want to make him think you doubted this. But this was unknown territory for you too!  
Your last and only boyfriend had been your high school sweetheart. Who had played you from day one. Only you realised it almost 9 years later. 9 years of your life, wasted. 9 years of misplaced trust, which brought you to the conclusion you could and would not let anyone get too close for a long long time. Until you were a 120% sure they meant what they said.

“There is an… 'us’ though, right?” Connor interrupted your thoughts.

He looked at you, matching you in points of insecurity and nervousness, brows furrowed slightly.  
You had not expected him to be so straight forward and you were definately not prepared for that question. Well apart from you wanting this more than anything at the moment. Why did your thoughts have to be so jumbled?  
But was it all not moving a bit too fast? Well, yeah, it was you who had asked him to spend the night at your place two days earlier. And both of you had wanted to end that beautiful day with a breathtakingly, intense kissing session.  
Was that enough to build something more on though? Now that you had him, right in front of you, asking you what you wanted to hear since you jingle belled him with your umbrella a week ago, and now you got cold feet.

What if it did not work out? It would leave two miserable souls behind, disappointed yet another time. Wanting too much too fast, expecting more than you were ready to give.  
Maybe underestimating how challenging it would become. After all, this was not a normal guy in front of you. That fact had been whirring around in your mind for quite a while, all the more since the brawl at the fair.  
Connor was an android. He was not a human and never would be. When you thought on it like that, it scared you more than any new and unknown thing had scared you up until now.  
People would always frown upon a relationship between you two. You knew that. It was not the normal constellation after all.  
There had been enough cases on the news about how some people still hated the fact that machines acted like ‚real persons‘. Hurting them, hunting them, torturing them. Just for the hell of it. Just because they did not know any better. Because they were afraid.  
Would you be ready to fight against all these odds, prove all of them doubters wrong? Defy them and stand your ground beside him, hand in hand?  
Was it even already legally recognized to be with an android in a… physical and romantical way? Apart from it being legal to be visiting those dubious clubs downtown that is.

How would that even work? You did not know how detailed they were designed. Was he even equipped and capable of… being intimate, to put it nicely. You had not exactly walked up to him and taken a peek in his pants. Yet.  
Your cheeks burned, probably red to your ears.

Would you be willing to give up the life you knew and dive in at the deep end?  
Give up on the things you once regarded as set in stone for you? Like starting a family? You know, he could lay the world at your feet, do everything in his power to make you the happiest girl on earth. That was the one thing he could not provide you with. Could you live with that?

Also, ageing. You had not really thought on that one too hard but how would that play out? Getting older and older and him staying the same for all his life, outliving you probably by a long shot.  
There were so many ifs and uncertanties to this. What had you gotten yourself into? Crushing on a robot. That should have stayed science fiction. It would have made it way easier for you.

But oh, what if it did work out?  
What if those obstacles were just mere bumps in the road that you would overcome together? Find a solution for all of them and be happy.  
You know you two clicked, otherwise you would not have gotten this far.  
Could you jump your own shadow for once and stop painting everything black? When seemingly everything you ever wanted was just an armslength away, waiting for you to just grab it and hold on to it tightly.

Connor was most likely having some doubts of his own too. He was not at all used to any of the things you already saw as a problem. He probably did not know of half of what could go wrong though, did not replay those scenarios over and over like you just had. Or did he? You knew he could calculate a bazillion outcomes in no time, but… did he?  
Realisation dawning on you.  
He did know. Had to. He knew every single of those possibilities. The good ones and the bad. And he still asked you to give it a shot and try it with him.  
He trusted you enough to ask everything from you, take his hand and go with him every step of the way. Accepted the probability that you would say no and leave it at that, going seperate ways, no hard feelings.

Still he had taken your hand here at this table and asked you to be with him. In every way you both knew how.  
Thinking about it that way, your heart broke a little. What have you done to deserve him confiding into you so much?  
A single tear threatened to run down your cheek. You had never met someone so pure and utterly good from inside out. Who did you good and made you smile that much. Made you feel worthy and that you mattered to him.  
Why, for the love of everything thats holy, were you looking for reasons to not be with him all of sudden?  
Swooning like you were, thinking about him every waking moment. Why would you turn him down when all you ever really wanted was to accept this and figure the rest out along the way? Could you not give yourself a break for once and shut up those dark thoughts that tried to deny you your happiness?  
You would do that now. Lock these thoughts and feelings up and throw away the key.

Connor was worth it. He had proven it with every word, every smile and every action towards you.  
And if it would not work out as hoped, you could still tell yourself you at least had tried. It was better than regretting never ever giving it a chance for the rest of your life wondering what could have been.

„Yeah“, you breathed. „There is an ‚us‘.“  
The smile he gave you lit up the whole room.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting a little more up close and personal. A little fluff on the side before we get to a little more angst. There might be a few dark clouds gathering. Oops.
> 
> Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for keeping you waiting. The past two weeks have been kicking my butt. 
> 
> Plus I'm working on multiple other fics simultaniously. Wouldn't recommend doing that. :D But so worth the trouble. <3

Leaving the bar an hour later, Connor insisted on taking you home again, ever the gentleman.  
He took your hand and intertwined your fingers, holding onto you almost constantly since you had decided to give it a shot earlier.  
You liked the feeling of him squeezing your hand reassuringly (for him or for you, you did not know), caressing your knuckles ever so softly.  
You walked the short distance tonight, not wanting to speed up the goodbye-for-now and spent just that bit more time together. Good thing you had brought a warm coat and a scarf.  
Connor had not said much since you had left the bar, looking down at his feet or the road ahead, a smirk though visible by the way the corners of his mouth were turned up. Was he nervous? Was that why you got the silent treatment all of a sudden?  
Well, of course he was nervous and so were you. Still you were not able to wipe the grin off your face either.  
You had pushed all of your concers to the furthest corner of your mind, trying to just relax and enjoy for once.  
Leaning into him a little got him looking down at you, affectionate and disbelieving at the same time.  
You could only return the gaze, still not comprehending that this was really happening but being overjoyed by the fact that it was indeed true.

The silence was not entirely unpleasant, both of you dwelling on your thoughts. And soon you arrived at your door again. Connor was playing with your fingers, refusing to let go of them, let go of you.  
“Well then. I sure as hell like the way everything turned out”, he smirked, tilting his head, a lopsided grin on his face.  
“Me too”, you grinned and were a little perplexed when he brought up your joined hands to kiss the back of your knuckles lightly.  
“I’ve never really known I wanted… this… until I’ve met you”, he confessed.  
“It’s just… well I never considered it. I guess in that regard I need a little more… private tutoring.”  
He was suggestively smirking now.  
“Let me just clear my schedule, but I think I can make time for that”, you retorded playfully.  
“I’ll always make time for you”, more sincere and quiet than you had intended to.  
Connor bit his lower lip, looking at you intently. Not those puppy eyes again. You could swear he knew what those did to you. You took the lead again.  
“So… aren’t you going to kiss your girlfriend goodnight?”  
Girlfriend! Yes, that was what you were now.

Like he had just remembered something important he looked at you, standing up a little straighter than neccessary.  
“Yes. Of course I will. Just… sorry.”  
Not letting go of your hand, thumb still brushing over your sensitive skin he came a step closer. His other hand came to rest on your jaw, tilting our head slightly upwards. You stepped even closer to him, your upper bodies touching, hand on his hip, waiting for him to make good on his promise.  
Another moment of just gazing into each others eyes passed before Connor leaned down. Your heart sped up again. You would never get used to that sensation, you were certain of that.  
His warm lips met yours, timidly at first, testing the waters. God, you could lose yourself in the feeling of his silken, gentle mouth on yours.  
You squeezed his hip a little, not knowing where to put all of that energy you felt flowing through you when he deepend the kiss and slipped his tongue into your mouth, stroking yours oh so delicately.  
If that was what he had learned from his research… what else did he pick up from that?

You quietly and kind of involuntarily moaned into his mouth, basking in the feeling of his demanding attacks to your sanity. He set a slow and intense rhythm, making you forget your surroundings, tightening his grip on your jaw possessively. You felt a blush creeping up from your neck to your cold cheeks, heating them up instantly. Damning yourself for the fact that you needed to breathe sometime soon again.  
He sighed happily, smiling into the kiss when he felt you going wobbly under his actions, curling your fingers against his side.  
Smug bastard.

With a few last desperate and strong strokes of his tongue and a couple of short pecks he finally released you and you were glad his hand stayed on your jaw and his other came to rest on your side to steady you.  
Boy oh boy. That really was for adults only.  
You had closed our eyes sometime ago, making the experience ten times more firece and when you opened them slowly you saw Connor looking down at you.  
“I can’t believe how lucky I am”, he breathed out, eyes flickering to your parted and slightly swollen lips and back up again.  
“Yeah. Me too.”  
Closing what little distance was left between the both of you, you laid your cheek on his chest, hugging his waist, feeling his arms coming around your back protectively. Closing your eyes again. He was just so soft and warm. How was that even possible with that chassis underneath?

“So, third date, huh?”, he whispered into you hair, kissing it lightly once.  
“Mmmh.” Your brain had no chance to form more coherent sentences when he held you like this. But somehow you felt that his question implied more, feeling his thirium pump where a human heart would sit thrumming faster than a few seconds before.  
“What about it?”, you mumbled against the cotton of his steel blue t-shirt.  
“It’s just… The custom after a third date… I…”, he twisted his tongue in a knot, cheeks flushing a light blue.  
You had to smile a little at his helplessness and felt bad for doing so but it was cute when he got like this.  
Lifting your head from your very comfy spot to look up at him you were met by a pair of very concerned and apologetic brown eyes. It made your heart melt.  
He was not supposed to look like that, all small and lost.  
“You did your research again, I take it? Well, you shouldn’t do that. There’s nothing that’s a must-do in… anything. We don’t have to do something because someone says we should. We’ve talked about taking things at our own speed, remember?”  
You smiled at him, cupping his clenched jaw, stroking his cheek with your thumb. He looked not at all convinced.  
“Don’t beat yourself up Connor. You’ve only just started to live your own damn life. You decide now.”  
“I… I don’t want to disappoint you. That maybe you expected something… more tonight since I turned you down last time. I mean, I know how it works and… I clearly want to, just…”  
He babbled a little so you shushed him with a soft kiss, standing on your tiptoes.  
“You could never disappoint me even if you tried. I had nothing in mind as to where the evening would go. I didn’t even expect you to be taking the next big step forward like you did. I already have more than I had dreamed of.”  
He smiled faintly at that, tilting his head slightly to the left.  
“You dreamed of me?”  
God, he was so adorable when he looked at you like that.  
“Oh, Connor, you’re such a dear”, you laughed.  
He bit his lip, smile breaking out now fully.  
“I… You’re a very brave girl you know that? Putting up with someone like me.”  
Huffing you took both his hands.  
“You don’t know the half of it.”  
Connor bent down once more, kissing you speech- and breathless again, albeit not as long as before, rubbing the tip of his nose against yours when he was done.  
“Sleep tight. Dream some more of me and I’ll see you tomorrow?”, he whispered against your mouth, artificial warm breath ghosting over your lips, making your shiver.  
“Yes, please”, you kissed him shortly once.  
“Sleep well too.”  
You cursed yourself.  
“Or not. I mean you don’t sleep now do you?”  
“In fact I can do that. I go into stasis or charge mode from time to time. It’s similar”, he smiled.

You said your goodnights reluctantly, stealing a few more kisses before you went up to your living room and waved him one last time from the window. He smiled again and so did you.  
Tonight you would sleep well, knowing you’d be seeing him tomorrow again.  
What a lucky girl you were indeed.

**

You did meet up on saturday again, spending your afternoon in the city, window shopping, sitting in the park and the like. Nothing too fancy, just being together.  
You felt that after last night you had to give Connor a little more confidence regarding his self-appointed odd behaviour and show him that you were in no rush to make him do anything he was not yet comfortable with. Though he said he would want to.  
It was not like you were the type to drag someone into your bedroom at the first chance given anyway. You had been a little nervous too when you brought the insane idea up an wednesday to take him up to your apartment, kind of wishing he had said yes then. Most guys did and you were not averse to the idea of you and him together.  
But it was not your strong suit. You had not dated in a while, in your relationship you had not been the one to take initiative that often. It was all strangely new to you too, to take his hand and guide him. So you thought if he felt a little more at ease around you, knew you better, he would warm up and come out of that beautiful shell CyberLife had given him and stop feeling awkwardly uneasy when it came to intimacy.

You could not comprehend how could be so nervous, shy and unsure while being a badass detective at the same time. At least thats how you imagined him from what he told you about his job and the way he fought those guys off last week. How sharpminded yet naive he was, chasing criminals and never missing a target. Interrogate his suspects until they gave up every tiny detail he wanted to know, probably thanking him for it afterwards, too.  
How could he be two so different persons at the same time? What had made him this way? Who made him this way? Whatever he had endured to become so torn like this, he did not deserve it. Not one single bit of it.  
So you tried to make up for a damage you could not even assess. Reassure him in every way possible.

Like when you stood real close in a public transport earlier today and his hand had accidentally brushed over your chest while he was trying to find a grip to steady himself. He pulled his hand away like he had burned himself.  
Not that you were fond of being touched like that in public but you made sure to tell him it was okay, that he did not need to be so shy around you. He simply had nodded.  
Or later when you got out of the tram and he let you go first, brushing your butt lightly against his thigh as you went, not thinking much about it until you saw him standing there shell-shocked and nearly not making it out the door before the it closed again.  
Connor had told you later that this right now was just such a new feeling for him, unknown and strange of a certain kind. Love was something he was not familiar with. He had felt anger and satisfaction, joy and humiliation, affection and irritability. He had grown accustomed to these. But love was something entirely different. He told you about being insecure since the day he deviated, not going into too much detail on the circumstances of how it happened. He felt all of these new inputs, making him frustrated, excited and terrified in so many different ways. It was a good thing to finally be able to feel but a burden he never knew he would some day carry nevertheless.  
He had become cautious around most people and trying to not offend anyone anymore. And getting so close into someones personal space, he had come to know was rude. He did not want to be rude to you. But something told you this was just the tip of the iceberg.  
Shaking your head you laid your hands on his cheeks, looking at him lovingly.  
„You know what would really be rude? Not touching your girlfriend.“  
Smiling at him then and pulling him down for a sweet kiss.  
„You really need to shake off your worries, handsome“, you almost whispered.  
Connor perked up at that, being called his first nickname, brow furrowing for a microsecond before smiling lightly. He liked the sound of that.

It was a mystery to you. On the one hand he responded so well to being touched, searching contact on his own, holding your hand most of the time, initiating it more often than not. Kissing you was one of his new hobbies you mused. On the other hand he seemed so skittish. So you did your best to touch him whenever possible, his arm when you talked, his face when you kissed so he would get used to the feel of it.  
Maybe the right connections had just yet to be formed deep in his code.

**

On Sunday you decided to spend the day at your place. You had cleaned up everything neatly, wanting to make a good impression when Connor visited you for the first time.  
He arrived around lunchtime, at first standing a little awkwardly in the middle of your living room before you beckoned him to sit with you in the kitchen, keep you company while you ate the reheated leftovers from the casserole you had in the fridge.  
He looked around, a dopey little smile on his face, taking everything in, probably spotting a corner or two you had forgotten to clean.  
„It’s… homely“, he stated, looking around a little more with big, curious eyes.  
„Comfortably and lovingly furnished. Very you. I like it.“ Looking at you sincerely, a happy glint in his chocloate gaze.

You picked out a movie together and made yourselves comfortable on your couch. He sat a little stiff, like he did not know if it was okay to just lounge like you did since it was not his home. But you guided him to a sitting position that would allow you to snuggle up to his side. He put his arm around you not much later, finally relaxing like he had at the cinema.  
„It’s okay Connor, really. You can put your hands wherever, you know? I won’t bite your fingers off.“  
„I sure hope not. I don’t think you teeth would win that fight.“  
„Ohoho, try me! But seriously, please just try and not think about all of it too much. Feel it. You need to feel more. It’s as simple as that.“  
„That’s easy for you to say. I mean… yes, we’re in a relationship but I don’t… I don’t know what’s appropriate and what’s not. I have no clear data on that.“  
He sounded a little beat. Oh, but you would get him there.  
„I don’t know if there’s anything like inappropriate with you. And besides… I would tell you if that were the case.“  
Connor went back to watching TV, thinking the discussion was postponed to sometime in the future.  
You looked over to him out of the corners of your eyes and slowly started to stroke a hand across his stomach, going back and forth.  
He shifted in his seat, sucking in a deep breath. You could see his LED swirling rapidly blue then turning to amber briefly.  
“Is that okay”, you whispered, not stopping your fingers drawing circles on his belly.  
“I guess.” It came out a little strained though.

You kept going for as long as you sat there, feeling Connor relax sometime later, pulling you a little closer even.  
When the movie was over he looked at you, a fondness in his eyes that warmed your insides up.  
“Thank you for your patience with me. I think I calibrated my sensors enough now to not feel this kind of touches too… overwhelming anymore. It all takes some getting you used to”, he apologised again.  
Instead of answering him you gave him a lingering kiss since he visibly calmed down whenever you did. Well, it was a start.

**

The new week was ahead, monday morning hitting you full force in the face again. Well at least you had something to look forward to after work now. Connor had promised to pick you up later and take you out for a quick dinner date.  
The memories from yesterday still filling up your thoughts. How warm his body had felt, pressed against yours, how reassuring the weight of his arm around your shoulder was. Fingers drawing lazy cirles into your skin.  
You still could not believe that he was yours now. That sounded strange, unbelievable even.  
It was not something you had planned on, you were not looking for someone to share your life with at the moment. You were not like some people who could not be single or were very bad at it, constalty stumbling from relationship to relationship just for the sake of it.  
But sometimes the best things happened when you were least expecting them. Cheesy, but seemingly true.  
Sighing you grabbed your bag and left for work. You could not wait to see him tonight.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another day, another Gavin. We’re processing slowly but steadily. And we finally get to see Hank again.
> 
> Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

Connor sat at his desk, filling out reports that needed to be finished yesterday. Fowler had given him a two weeks load of work to finish off by wednesday, just to punish him he was sure. Also he was to stay put at the precinct at least for this week, leaving Hank to go on investigations with someone else. He felt like a grounded teenager. At least he thought that this was what it felt like.  
It would not have been so bad had there not been a certain someone making his day harder than it needed to be.

“Hey! Dipshit! You doing my reports, too? Or does that rile you up too much”, Gavin cackled from his desk, turning his chair from left to right, eyeing Connor curiously.

Connor ignored him like he usually did. He did not have the time nor the energy to play his little games right now. He just wanted to leave on time to go and pick you up from work like he promised. That was what got him through the day.

“Hey, I’m talking to you, plastic!”  
Gavin had gotten up and sauntered over to him. Connor rolled his eyes, sitting back with a huff in his chair.  
“What do you want, Gavin?” He asked exhausted, knowing he would not let up anyway.  
“I want you to phcking answer me when I ask you a question, asshole”, Gavin answered, leaning closer, eyes spitting fire.  
Gavin had not taken well to Connor starting to officially work at the DPD. So he made sure to make Connor’s days as miserable as he could. It was the least he could do to make himself feel a little better.

Connor had enough though, ignoring Gavin would not lead anywhere when he was so hellbent on riling him up, so he stooped himself to Gavin’s level.  
“You didn’t ask a question, Gavin. You threw an offence my way. And since I am my own person now, I chose to ignore you. Wait… I always did that.” Connor smirked, getting sassy.  
Grumbling something inaudible, Gavin slitted his eyes, putting up his chin cockily.  
“You better watch your back, tin can. You know how it goes. Accidents happen all the time…”  
“Are you threatening me, detective”, Connor asked calmly, almost sweetly, but his smile was challenging.  
“I’ve got one for you too. Do you need a statistic on how often a coworker gets his in serious trouble because he wasn’t minding his own business?“  
„Oh, our prototype is back in fight mode. When did that happen?“  
Gavin made to leave, having caused enough ruckus apparently or backing away because he felt nervous maybe? Connor was not sure, but Gavin turned around once again, a warning in his voice.  
„I’m watching you, Alexa! You fuck up again, I’ll be there to put the boot in.“

He winked malicously at Connor and went over to his desk again, slapping Chris on the back amicably on his way there.  
Narrowing his eyes, Connor watched him for a second before shaking his head and getting back to his task. It was futile to defend himself against that person. Gavin knew how to worm his way out of every uncomfortable situation. Connor had seen this many times.  
He would have to accept that there would always be a certain tension between him and Gavin, there was no changing this. It was not even the fact that Connor was an android. Even if he had been human, they would have never ever become best buddies, being so utterly different.

Connor sighed, more out of habit than need. This was going to be a godawful long week.

**

When Connor picked you up after work he took you out to a little diner, sitting with you, talking about as much of his day at work as he was allowed too. Except for the part where he was forced to just do the paperwork. And the incident with Gavin. What use would that be? It did not happen on a daily basis like that, but he was kind of used to it.  
You gnawed on your fries, eyes trained on Connor, who looked around the diner. A slight shadow was fleeting over his face, you might have missed it had you not been staring at him like you did.  
„What’s up“, you asked, pulling him out of his daze.  
„Huh? Oh, no it’s… it’s nothing really“, he sputtered.  
You raised an eyebrow but refrained from pushing the topic further. He did not do well with being pressured into something.  
„So. I was wondering… I mean, it’s a little early maybe, but… would you want to… Hank has been pumping me about you for a few days now. He really wants to meet you.“  
That was true. Hank wanted to meet you, he had been questioning Connor for a bit more information on you but it had been like pulling teeth. Well, he said it was none of his business what Connor did and who he did it with, but Hank had felt the strange need to support him with his newfound feelings, wherever that had come from now. He was protective like that with Connor since after he deviated. So it was only natural that he would have to see for himself who you were. Plus he liked to nag to Connor about it a little, grinning when he started to blush and stutter. Yep, Hank definately was a father to him.

You were… not shocked no, even though your heart missed a beat at Connors request. A little frightened maybe? That was more like it. Meeting the ‚parent‘ was a huge step. You did not bring home everyone now did you? But then again, what was normal between the two of you anyway? It was not like you were opposed to this. From the way Connor talked about him, admired him even, he seemed to be a real good guy.  
„Well… sure. I’d love to“, you heard yourself say, voice a little shaky still.  
Connor eyed you intently. Those warm, deep brown eyes.  
„But you hesitated. You don’t have to. If it’s not the right time…“  
„No. I mean, yes! I want to. I’m just a little bit nervous that’s all. This is after all a huge step in such short time.“  
„Too soon?“  
You grabbed his hand over the table.  
„No. Just unexpected. I would very much love to meet him.“

**

"About damn time”, Hank commentend jovially on the next day at work.  
“What do you mean? You know that we haven’t been dating that long, right?”  
“So? All the more reason to get to know her. With the speed you’re moving into this relationship.”  
Connor looked down from his terminal to his hands in his lap.  
Was that true? Was this so unusual?  
He felt a little stupid, not knowing what was normal or if he was doing this the right way. Those things were not in his programming and he had to learn the hard way.  
“Aw, hell Connor, don’t gimme that look! I was just trying to pull your leg a little. Relax, kid. It’ll be just fine”, he heaved a sigh.  
“It’s… frustrating you know? I never seem to know how to really respond or behave. Not on this territory. She is dear to me, Hank. Very special. I don’t wanna…” Connor looked over to him, lost and desperate.  
“Fuck it up?”, Hank offered.  
“Yes.”  
“You might be a fool, Connor. But from what I gathered, she likes you enough to put up with that.”  
Hanks smirk did nothing to calm Connor, who just glared at the insult, pouting a little.

The door to Fowler’s office opened and the Captain stepped out. Hank and Connor tried to look busy, swiping on tablets and scrolling through the terminal for show until he was out of sight. Connor had felt the stare directed at him. That was close.

“So friday night is fine with you then? At your place?” Connor asked quietly.  
“Friday it is. Now quit yer yapping and finish off your reports. I need you back on the streets with me. I don’t need another rookie puking all over my crime scenes…" 

**

The week went by without other unpleasant occurrences, Connor spending every evening with you, either at your place or out somewhere. He would have invited you over to his apartment but it being so scarecely used and not fully furnished he refrained from taking you there. You were fine with that.  
And suddenly it was friday. The day you were about to meet Hank.  
God, were you antsy.

Connor took your hand as he led you from the taxi to the door, feeling you shaking like a leaf.  
He smiled down at you, cupping your cheek and kissing you gently.  
"It’s gonna be fine. He’ll like you and you’ll like him. Trust me.”  
It did not help, so you just smiled back.  
“I just hope you’re right.”  
“I’m nervous too. After all, you’re the first girl I bring home.” He winked at that.  
“Wow, I’m flattered”, you grinned.  
Then Connor rang the bell, hearing a dog bark once.  
**  
When the door opened your heart was nearly in your mouth. You squeezed Connor’s hand unconciously and maybe even more than neccessary but you had not control of your limbs right now. The man that stood in front of you had a gentle smile on his face. You wanted so badly to reciprocate it but your face seemed to not be responding right now. The man, Hank, you corrected yourself, was built like a bear. Tall and massive, grey hair down to his chin. His face was a little worn, scarred from life most likely and from what Connor had told you, he had been through a lot. Still you could see that he must have been a handsome young man back in his days. He had a lot of charisma, too. An aura around him that exuded authority, determination. A man of high caliber. Connor hard warned you he could be a little rough and gruff with strangers and even more with friends. You hoped for the best.  
But his smile was sincere, warm and strangely disarming. Not just a front he put up for Connor’s sake. So you found it in you to smile back at last.

“Hello Hank”, Connor greeted him happily, moving forward to hug him.  
“Hey there loverboy. You alright?” Hank patted his back then let go to look at you again.  
“All is well. May I introduce? (Y/N) - Hank, Hank - (Y/N).”  
“It’s a pleasure to finally meet you, Mr. Anderson”, you tried to sound calm, extending your hand.  
“Naw, there’s no Mr. Anderson around here. Call me Hank, will ya? And get over with the formalities.” He grinned and instead of shaking your hand he pulled you into a lose hug too.  
Shocked your hands hovered slighlty over his back, it felt strange to put them on him somehow. But like you had already suspected. That man gave great hugs.

“Come in guys”, he beckoned you in, Connor motioned for you to go in first.  
It was a nice house, if a little on the smallish side. But since he lived alone here, save for Connor crashing here fo ŕ a few weeks it was enough. An open kitchen and living room. Small but homely.  
The kitchen table was already set with dishes, except for Connor of course.

The dog, Sumo, you had already heard from outside, came barreling towards you, stopping right before your feet looking up curiously, a short woof directed at you.

“Hey buddy. You’ve gotta be Sumo, right”, you crouched down and patted him on the head, ruffling his fur.  
Content that you apparently were no threat he went on to Connor to get himself another few pats he was glad to give.  
Then Connor took your off jacket smoothly and hung it to rack along with his.  
“Have seat why don’t you”, Hank stood at the table in the kitchen, motioning for you to come join him.  
“Sure”, you answered, a little angry at yourself for feeling so small and frightened at the moment.  
You had been so worried what could happen tonight. What if Hank did not like you, questioned you beyond your comfort zone or saw you an annoying person he just invited because Connor liked you? Plus it seemed like a lifetime ago when you first had ‘the first awkward parent meeting’.  
But from what you could make out, this worrying had all been for nothing.  
You three sat down.

“Well, I’m not much of a cook so I figured we’d order something”, Hank, an amused glint in his eyes, shot a pointed look at Connor who just furrowed his brow but said nothing to that then looked at you expectantly. A little confused you looked between the two men. There was something swinging in that remark, you just could not put your finger on it.  
“You know what I think about this, Hank.But I’ve seen you trying to cook. So… it’s not too bad.” Connor grinned lightly at that, looking at you then expectantly.  
“Great, that’s perfect. I’m starving”, was all you could get out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meet the parents! Or just Hank. Plus we’ve got an involuntary revelation ahead which turns the evening into whole different direction. Angsty? Oh yes! :O

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

You warmed up to Hank real quick. He made it easy for you to and you figured it had something to do with the fact that you were talking the same language. He was a funny guy, a little rough around the edges but with a big heart. You understood now why Connor liked him so much.  
After dinner you stayed in the kitchen, talking about yourself a little bit to satisfy Hank’s curiosity, getting to know more about Hank too, his past and his history with Connor. It was a nice evening so far. Also Connor seemed to come out of his shell of insecurity when Hank was around and had taken to put his hand over yours on the table, absentmindedly stroking your knuckles lightly. That was kind of his thing you guessed.

Hank told a story about a case they had been working on, pointing out that he would have never thought to be glad he had an android as a partner now.  
“But you know RoboCop here, he grows on you so fast it’s alarming. When I first met him he spilled my drink on the bar counter, can you believe that?!” Hank reached over to ruffle Connor’s hair only to tease him. It worked.  
“Hey!”, Connor protested and you chuckled.  
“The most annoying and persistent android I have met in my entire life. You sure you wanna put up with that”, Hank smirked.  
“I’d say it has been going good so far, I don’t see a problem”, you smiled back.  
“He wormed his way into my heart so fast, I was shocked my ownself actually.”  
You looked at Connor then, a fondness in the gaze he directed at you, you could not help but to lean over and peck him on the lips shortly.

„Awww, isn’t that the sweetest sight“, Hank fake-scoffed goodheartedly.  
When you pulled away from the kiss, Connor’s eyes were still closed, his features relaxed, almost slack. He looked so innocent and pure. Soft even. You brushed the knuckles of your index- and middle finger over his cheekbones lovingly.  
His eyes opened slowly, drowning you in a pool of dark brown, a smile tugging at his lips. You almost had forgotten that Hank was watching you intently.  
„You know, the more I see you two kids, the more I think you really do fit together well. Who would have thought you’d be such a heartbreaker Connor“, Hank smiled and laughed, pulling you out of your reverie.  
That Hank accepted you took a load of your mind.  
„I had been prepared for the worst to be perfectly honest“, Hank admitted then openly.  
„There are so many people running around, luring androids into supposedly safety, pretending to be in love or care for them only to capture them. Had a few of those cases on my desk recently. I’m a bit paranoid like that. Comes with the job.“  
„Way to kill the mood, Hank“, Connor commented dryly despite grinning.  
„You should be glad I look out for you! Not scold me for it. Ungrateful brat.“ His words held no malice though.  
Hank huffed once.  
„He’s a real sassbot sometimes, isn’t he? Was even worse before he became a deviant.“  
Hank could not help but smile again, addressing you.  
„I like him just the way he is“, you answered honestly and felt a blush creep up your neck. It sounded stupidly simple and did not even cover the slightest bit of how you really felt. Hank seemed to understand though and so did the android in question.  
Connor‘s hand slid over the backrest of your chair, resting on your lower shoulder blade, stroking slightly in response to that.

Hank contemplated this for a second, watching Connor watching you.  
„When I see him like he is now, it’s hard to think of him as that stone-cold bastard he was, hunting and eliminating deviants without second thoughts for a living before we met, right?“  
Connor’s head shot to Hank in a split second, eyes wide open, shock written all over his face suddenly.  
You gulped, not comprehending it at first. What did Hank just say? He had been a killer? Your Connor? No, that was not possible. You must have misheard.  
„Hank…“, Connor croaked out indignantly, panic and shock written all over his face, a little static mingling with his voice, letting go of your back suddenly.  
Hank’s face fell as soon as his gaze met Connor’s, realisation dawning on him what he had just said. And probably revealed.  
„You… you didn’t tell her? Jesus fucking Christ, Connor!“, Hank’s voice rose with every word, anger and frustration welling up.  
„No! Of course not!“ Connor had found his composure again, raising his voice too, even if a little shaky.  
„It’s…“, Connor stood up abruptly, never finishing that sentence.

Hank groaned, running a hand over his face and standing up too, walking over to the sink.  
You sat there, perplexed and out of your depths. Nervously playing with your fingers for lack of anything else to do.  
No, that was not… Could not be possible.  
„That‘s not something you keep to yourself if your intentions are… sincere. Fucking hell…“  
Hank turned around, a storm behind his eyes, disappointment and disbelief evident in them.  
You looked up to Connor. He was gritting his teeth, jaw tense (no actually his whole body was taut), curling and uncurling his fists that were hanging loosely by his sides.  
„I… I was… I didn’t… It wasn’t the right time!“  
Connor was outraged. And scared to death.  
„Why do you care what I tell her and when? You did not have to drop that bomb just now!“  
„For god’s sake… how would I know that you’re too chickenhearted to talk to her about it. I take it she doesn’t know of Jericho either then, huh?“  
Connor’s glare intensified, if that was even possible. You had never seen him changing moods so fast, now upset and furious. It made you shiver and sink back into the seat.  
„Stop it right there, Hank! Or…“, Connor gritted out.  
„Or what? You threatening me now? In my own house?“, Hank challenged, arms crossed, chin up.  
„No, I’m not… Just don’t… I… need to leave. We should have never come here in the first place I guess.“  
Connor’s shoulders sagged, all fight leaving him instantly, making room for despair. He looked at you then, wearing a hopeless expression.

„Can I… Do you want me to take you home“, he asked ruefully, avoiding your gaze it seemed, not sure if you would agree to that now. After all you had heard.  
Your brain had yet to catch up on all what was happening. That had escalated more than quickly. Was that true? Well, either way, Connor had some explaining to do.  
„Yes… Yeah. Sure, Connor. I’ll be right there.“  
Getting up from your seat you made your way to retrieve your jackets. The two men still had that staring duel going on.  
Hank shook his head, letting out a deep sigh while shoving away from the counter.  
„Connor… I’m sorry. Look…. You don’t have to leave now. We can…“  
„No“, Connor interrupted sternly.  
„No, we can’t. Not tonight. I… need to clear my thoughts first. If I’m not to chickenhearted for it, that is“, he retorted venomously, slitting his eyes. Oh, he was fed up alright.  
You came up behind Connor handing him his jacket before he helped you slip on your own in one fluid motion.  
It felt like being a kid all over. Visiting a friend and witnessing a fight with their parents, standing there glued to the spot, not knowing what to do or how to behave.  
„I’m tired of you making decisions for me, Hank. Speaking for me! Like I’m not capable…. Like I’m still a machine to be ordered around.“  
Connor sounded desperate. His anger seemed to have been bottled up for a while now, just bubbling to the surface now with Hank saying the wrong thing at the wrong time.

„It was an accident, alright?! That’s not what I’m… Fuck, Connor. You… When have I ever made a decision for you anyway?“, Hank knitted his brows together, dangling somewhere between being seriously pissed off and confused by now.  
Connor shook his head in disbelief, sporting a bitter smile.  
„Really Hank? Who planted the idea to move into my own apartment by the start of the new year? Well, yes, I didn’t want to overstay my welcome here after… everything. I give you that. But you initiated it, even looked for suitable housings, did you not? Or encouraged me to stay at the DPD? Was that not your doing too?“  
„I was trying to help you, Connor! For fuck’s sake. You seemed lost and unsure after all that shit went down! You had no clue of the real world! And when Markus let you down too…“  
„Don’t!“ Connor warned, his voice dangerously cold and piercing.  
„Don’t go down that way now!“

Biting your lip you grabbed for Connor’s hand, clasping it tightly in both of yours and tugging a little, trying to shake him out of whatever dark place his thoughts were right about now.  
You caught his attention, he looked down at you, wincing almost unnoticeable. Damn, Hank had apparently hit a very sore point here.  
„You made all choices for me, never giving me the chance to think about doing things differently. Even with Markus I was just… Taking orders from someone again. I don’t want this anymore. I’m done with that.“  
Connor was practically shouting when he finished that last sentence. He probably had neefed to get it off his chest for some time.  
„I… I’ll see you at work.“  
Connor made to leave, freeing his hand from your grasp, heading for the door without another word or look. You still stood in Hank’s kitchen sheepishly.  
„I’m sorry, Hank. Up until that it was nice evening though. It was great to meet you“, you said, maybe a little to quiet. Should you have said something different? Something more? You felt uneasy throwing yourself between those two just now.  
Hank waved you off, trying for a smile but not succeeding completely.  
„Yeah, likewise. Keep an eye on him for me, will ya? Don’t judge him by that, he’s…“  
He sounded exhausted.  
„Of course. He’ll come around, I’m sure.“  
You tried to sound confident though you did not now the whole extent of this revelation yet.  
„(Y/N), please, let’s just go“, Connor called impatiently from the open door.  
You nodded curtly.  
„Well… Bye Hank. And thank you again for everything.“  
You turned around and left the house, closing the door behind you.  
Well, that was one way to end the evening and not exactly what you had pictured.

**

Connor did not speak on the way to you apartment, his LED still swirling angry red mostly while he looked out of the taxi’s window, chin resting on his hand. You did not know if it was a good idea to pick up the topic again or let him brood and come around to it himself.  
Fidgeting with the buttons and zippers on your jacket for lack of anything better to do.

You worried the inside of your lower lip, glancing at him from time to time only to see that nothing had changed. His eyes were unfocused, like he was looking at something in a far distance.  
Then, when you did not expect him to break his silence anymore, Connor finally found his voice. It was quiet, rougher than usual and full of self-disgust.  
„You must think me a monster after tonight. After what you’ve heard and how I behaved. I’m incredibly sorry. I have wasted your time.“  
It was not a question, he did not need an answer from you.  
Honestly, you did not know what to make of it. You merely heard snippets from what probably was the whole story. Or smaller parts of it. It had sent your thoughts spiralling in so many directions and had brought you exactly not one single step further.  
Everyone had a past. Things they had done that they were not proud of. You needed more information before you could come to a conclusion here. There surely was more to it than Connor being a hitman specialised in chasing down deviants. But if he was, you could not blame him for not telling you about that part of his life until now. It was not something you peddled around to everyone you met.  
Though it stung just a little bit that he seemingly had not yet trusted you enough to tell you. But you were almost sure he had his reasons. Still…

You scooted closer to him, laying a hand on his knee, squeezing it once for reassurance and laying you head on his shoulder.  
„No, you didn‘t“, you mumbled.  
You felt him stiffen up, clearly he had not expected you to be understanding.  
He covered your hand with his, holding onto it tightly like you were his lifeline and he the one drowning.  
„I guess we need to talk“, you said almost incidentally, looking up into that stricken face. An expression you were not used to see on him.  
„Yeah“, he breathed out shakily.

**

„It doesn’t have to be today“, you assured him, still sitting in the taxi parked in front of your house.  
„Go home, get your head straight and tomorrow we’ll talk about… all of this. “  
Connor huffed, looking at you guiltily. He felt like the lowest deceiver to ever walk the earth right now.  
He knew he should have told you sooner, that it would backfire someday. Yet he had never found the strength to actually do it. There had been so many other things on his mind so he pushed that topic of his past further and further away from him.  
He did want a fresh start. Not dwell on the past too much anymore, it did not do him good. Little did he know that it had made him so bitter and desperate. Eating away at him.  
Poor Hank had gotten a nasty bashing tonight. Connor had been so unjust to him in his fear of unfolding his past before you, not really meaning what he said earlier. Or maybe he did, he was not even sure himself anymore. He hoped Hank would eventually forgive him, he would need to find a way to make amends.  
With a start Connor realised he had become more human than he liked to admit.  
„Okay“, is all that he managed to answer to that with that chaos in his head.  
You did not need scanners to know that he was a complete mess. A deep frown on his face, hopelessness in his eyes. This evening had pulled out the rug from under his feet.  
You could only imagine what he was processing right about now.  
Splaying your hand on his cheek you turned his head towards you, forcing him to look at you. Really look at you.  
Your gaze was soft, soothing and reassuring while he just looked like he had lost everything.  
You leaned over to him, pressing your lips to his gently, nibbling at his lower lip a little before pulling away again.  
„I’ll see you tomorrow handsome. Just come over when you’re ready to talk. I’m here“, you whispered.  
He drew in his bottom lip, nodding.  
„Okay“, was still all he managed to croak out.

Smiling again, you got out of the taxi. This time he did not walk you to the door and wait for you to turn on the lights.  
Before you could turn around again, you heard the taxi take off into the night.  
You were not even surprised.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “The talk” is ahead. After Hank dropped the bomb about Connor’s past last night he now has some explaining to do. The poor guy is made of insecurities and doubts thanks to his creators and handlers in the past. Angst with a hint of fluff. Please, someone just cuddle this precious bean! 
> 
> Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

You dreaded the confrontation with Connor. Not because you were furious or angered that he had kept this from you. Whatever the whole story to it was. No, surprisingly it was because you did not like to see him hurt so much.  
Yesterday he had seemed so lost, small and shaken to the core. It had been the prime example of sore point, you would have had to be blind not to notice when he left Hank's house yesterday.  
You only hoped Hank would not hold a grudge. Like you did not either. No matter what Connor thought might await him when he came by today, you promised yourself not to be mad.  
Hoping to god that it would work out.

It was way into the afternoon when your doorbell rang and Connor stood there, looking like a kid ready to be punished for behaving mischievously.  
"Hey there, handsome", you greeted him sunnily and got up on your toes to kiss him softly, trying to behave as normal as possible.  
He did not respond to that, not saying anything, not moving his lips. Nothing.  
The guilt stricken expression on his face gave way for a seriousness that made you inwardly flinch. Not a good sign.  
"Come in, make yourself at home", you said when you pulled away and ushered him in. He nodded slightly, hanging up his jacket and making his way to your couch.

You remembered the last time you two sat there and had to smile sadly. You guessed that today he would not pull you close and your head had to rest somewhere else than his shoulder. What a shame really.  
"I'm just going to get myself something to drink", you excused yourself and went to your kitchen while he plopped down on the cushions.  
From where you stood at the fridge could see him, shoulders sagged, head hung low, looking beat, hopeless.  
You had a notion you were about to find exactly why he felt like this was the end of the world.  
"Did you lose your voice or do you not want to talk to me?", you said when you sat down next to him sideways, eyes fixing him.  
It was not meant to sound so accusatory but you needed to coax him out of his shell somehow.  
"At least I thought you came by to talk."

"I'm sorry", is all Connor said to that, voice rough like he had not used it in weeks.  
"I... I know I should've told you sooner. It was wrong to keep this from you but... I couldn't. I simply couldn't."  
Big brown eyes looked up at you, hurt and lost.  
You just gazed at him, smiling reassuringly.  
"But I... I owe you the truth. After yesterday this is the least I can do. It's more damage control than anything..."  
You brought up your hand, caressing his jawline with the back of your knuckles.  
"Connor... Don't beat yourself up, okay? I don't..."  
"What if I tell you things about me that'll make you see me differently", he interrupted you.  
"Because you definitely will. What if you hate me after I tell you everything? I don't want to lose what we've got. I don't want to lose you over this."  
"You'll still be you, Connor. You'll still be the sweet, charming guy that I fell for. Just try me. I'm a good listener", you calmly replied and drew your legs up and rested your chin on your knees, preparing for what was to come.  
You were just as nervous as him.

Connor sucked in a deep breath even though he did not need to. And then he began talking about the week before the android uprising. About how CyberLife had sent him out to assist the DPD, meeting Hank, working cases with him to get to the bottom of the spreading deviancy.  
About how he turned in an android who had stabbed his owner to death without a second glance. Chasing a deviant accompanied by a child-model over a highway, endangering them all. How a deviant managed to escape after a chase over Detroit's rooftops and urban farming facilities just because he chose to save Hank. Letting go those two deviants at the Eden Club because he thought it was right. Meeting his 'creator'. How very disappointed CyberLife was by his lack of progress, the AI in his program guilt-tripping him over and over, talking about replacement should he not deliver results soon.  
Connor talked and talked, avoiding your gaze as much as he could. And you let him get all of this off his chest, keeping your promise and listening to him without judging. Well you did judge, but not him.  
You now held a grudge against that company that had made Connor do all this horrible things, having to betray his own kind against his better judgement just because they threatened to deactivate him, blackmailing him into all of this. He had to make himself believe their lies over and over again though Hank had done his best to make him doubt their motives and the purpose of all his doing. But in the end Connor had been designed for cases exactly like this. He could not fail.

And then he told you about meeting Markus, finally waking up, opening his eyes to see the truth behind all of it. That he too was alive and just wanted to be free. Escape CyberLife’s claws and bring them to their knees, freeing every last one of his people. Fighting very literally himself, another version of himself, which to you sounded so trippy and out of this world, you did not know how he could process all that. All this struggle.  
Only for CyberLife to try and resume control of him and assassinate Markus in front of every android at Hart Plaza and live on TV.  
That was when he found out that he was supposed to deviate from the start, no matter how much he had tried to ignore his slowly developing feelings, fighting against the inevitable solely for fear of being disassembled. Killed.  
He was lucky that Kamski had told him about the backdoor in his program that finally gave him his freedom. Still he felt like CyberLife lurked around in his mind sometimes, like they were waiting to pounce on him though logically that was not even possible. And that was why he was regarded, by humans and androids alike, rather suspiciously. Never fully settling down in either of those two still very different worlds. And that finally Markus and the others decided he was no longer welcome at their side and kicked him out of their middle. How much of this was Markus’ doing though he was not sure.

You listened to all this, Connor's confession, full of traumatic experiences, doubts and inner turmoil about choosing right from wrong, acting rational like the machine he was created to be or listening to his guts like the feeling being he had become. You were huffing and murmuring insults and words of disbelief along the way, your mouth hung slightly open most of the time.  
Connor had been through hell and back. A worse kind of hell than you could possibly imagine. And had Hank been not there he would have been completely alone.  
You were not sure you understood the real meaning behind all of Connor's words just yet. It was a whole lot to comprehend for your limited human brain. No wonder he had been devastated when Hank spilled his secret to you.   
A deep sadness settled into you, feeling at loss for words. What could you say? What could you do to show Connor that none of this had been his fault. Because that was how you saw it. How could you help him out of this hole threatening to consume him yet again?

When seemingly Connor had finished his monologue, the story about who he was, he folded his hands in his lap, gazing down at them.  
You felt your heart break for him. All the hurt and abuse he had to endure in his short life span would have been enough for a whole life. Or three.  
He did not deserve any of this but that was not what life was about. Getting what you deserve. It was about playing the hand you were dealt.  
You bit your lip, unsure how to respond at first and realized how dry your mouth had gotten.

"I… don’t know what to say“, you whispered, still shocked about the cruelty of that enterprise’s actions. You knew they would stop at nothing to maintain their image and keep the cash flowing. It was just the way of the world where an individual was glady sacrificed for the ‚greater good‘. Whatever the greater good in this particular case was for them.  
"You don’t have to say anything. I… understand if you want me to leave. If you see me as a threat now“, Connor mumbled back, glancing sideways at you.  
"As a what now? Connor, are you serious?! You’re the victim here! There’s no need to feel ashamed“, you were enraged now, scooting closer to him, sitting up on your knees so you could reach for his face.  
It took almost no strength to make him turn his head up into your direction. His eyes were not made to look so hopeless. They were made to shine. Like you’ve seen them shine since your not-date at the coffee shop.  
"Don’t. Feel. Responsible.“, you told him emphatically.  
"This was never you. You were forced to do this by some stupid lines of code written into your program. They didn’t give you a choice.“  
You had to gulp, trying to soothe someone else when you were upset yourself was not an easy task.

"Still I did it. I killed. Even before the events in november. I killed an android that was threatening to jump off a roof with a little girl. I gained his trust, made him believe me! And then shot him in the forehead without hesitation. What kind of person does that? And then the one android I…“  
"DON’T!“ you interrupted and were a little surprised about the volume and sureness of your voice. Connor grew silent then, looking at you with a hopelessness that would have made surely you cry were you not so worked up right now.  
"Don’t visit that dark place again! For god’s sake Connor... Lock those memories away. Destroy the files or pack them into the rearmost corner of your system and forget about them. That was someone else. That wasn’t really you!“  
Your hand rested on the side of his face, alternating between caressing his warm cheek and stroking the side his head, feeling his soft hair underneath your fingertips.  
"Please. Do it for me.“

He suddenly got up from the couch, pacing in front of your coffee table like an anxious, caged animal. Then he turned around to face you. You saw the battle going on inside him behind his eyes.  
"How can you say that? It was me! It was me the whole damn time! It was this body that did all those horrible things. These hands that pulled the triggers and beat up their targets. Those feet that chased innocent beings to lock them up and send them to their destruction! Just because I wanted what? Appreciation from an AI? Being told I was doing SO good? You’ve seen what I did to those people at the fair. I’m dangerous! And maybe one day I will be a danger to you!“

You closed your eyes and let out a deep breath through your nose. He was the most advanced prototype model ever released. Or so he said. Then why did he not understand that all of this was not his doing, not his fault?   
"Connor, please. You could never be a danger to me…“  
You stood up and got over to him, to calm him down. Laying a hand on his upper arm you started to gently rub it.

"How would YOU of all people know that?“  
He made it sound like an insult, his tone was bitter, disdainful even, eyes cold and desperate. You knew he never meant it to sound this vicious that but it had you gaping for a second, stopping your hand and retreating it. Wow, that hit quite close home nevertheless..   
"I… I didn’t mean it like that, (Y/N)… Please. I’m… I’m sorry.“   
Sighing deeply he thought about what he had just done.  
"I… should probably go. Before I infuriate even more people that I care about. I can’t afford to… to have you despise me as well. If it’s not too late now anyway...“  
Deep down you knew he did not mean it like that. That he was confused and hurt and so vulnerable at this moment that he saw no other way than to lash out. And that you were in the wrong place at the wrong time.  
Connor looked guiltily at you and made to leave.  
Oh, you wanted to be pissed at him. You really wanted to. But you could not bring yourself to it, so you grabbed the hem of his shirt when he went by you.  
"You’re not going anywhere, okay“, you told him more pleading than demanding.  
"I don’t want you to leave. Please, stay. Just for a little while.“

Connor stopped midtrack. Not that he could have just easily broken away from you.  
"I don’t think this is such a good idea“, he admitted ruefully.  
"Well, I think it’s the best idea I ever had“, you countered.  
He closed his eyes and turned around to face you.  
"After all this? What you’ve heard about me… How I treated you just now? How can you not just throw my sorry butt out on the street?“

Not comprehending, Connor looked at you, lips slightly parted, brow furrowed deeply.  
"Connor… you’re hurting. And you’re allowed to be angry and frustrated and gloomy. And you shouldn’t have to go through that all on your own. I think I understand better now. Understand why you are… closed off at times. Cautious and handle everything with such care like it’s a fragile piece of glass. I don’t blame you for reacting like that. But you need to let out all that you have bottled up from time to time or it’ll consume you from the inside out. You need to talk to someone. If it’s not me, if you’re not comfortable with that, it’s okay but please know I’ll be there if you need me to. There’s no shame in needing comfort and someone who understands from time to time. It’s perfectly… human.“  
You tried to take his hand but he withdrew it before you came into contact.

"Well, here’s the catch. I’m not a human.“  
Connor looked at you, exhausted, beat.  
You took a second before you replied calmly.  
"No. No, you’re not. But you act like a human to me. More than most people around me. And that does count a whole lot more. At least in my opinion.“  
A bitter laugh left his lips.  
“You’re too stubborn for your own good, you know that... Why are you doing this? Defending me. Hating me would spare you of all this drama. It was foolish of me to believe I could have this kind of… romantic attachment. I should have never jumbled up your life like that.”  
You were on the verge of angry now. Angry that he belittled himself like that. That this insecurity was still so deeply rooted into his being.   
"I care about you, okay? A lot more than I would have believed possible. I know it’s irrational and naive. And some people might still frown upon that but you know what? To hell with them! To hell with those people who controlled your mind back then and made you do all this horrible things. I want to be with with you because of who you are now. Everyone has a past and done things they’re probably not too proud of. But you can’t carry that with you forever and make your life miserable for the rest of your days. You’re allowed to enjoy life. You’ve earned it. Just put the past behind you and for god’s sake, Connor, let yourself be happy for once.”  
You stood mere inches apart.  
“You make it sound so easy. Like it’s no effort at all. That might be true for you. I can’t not think of these things. They’re omnipresent! I can’t shut these thoughts off. That’s not how my system works! There will always be a part of me that once had been a stone cold bastard designed to kill and manipulate. But when I met you, I was so happy. For the past weeks I have been the happiest since my day of activation. And it scares me that I might lose it again. This feeling of belonging. Completion. Because it’s not what I deserve.”  
Connor gestured wildly, voice underlining his agitation.

“But you do. If anyone deserves happiness it’s you. Overthinking is such a dangerous thing, Connor. Why would you deprive yourself of the possibility to lead a normal life? Why would you beat yourself up over things that have long since been water under the bridge?”  
“I… I don’t know. I can’t shake these thoughts off. That I’m not worth the effort. I... I know I’m not making sense right now.”  
He went silent when he ran out of stupid excuses. Him not being worthy of your love because he might hurt you? Well, your ex had hurt you plenty already. You did not think Connor could ever match up to that. No matter what he did.

“Yeah, well. Love does that to a person…”, you said, deep in thoughts and freezed when the words had left your lips.  
Uh oh. There you went and spilled the L-word in the heat of the moment. You said it without really meaning to. Or did you?  
You could only hope that statement went over Connor’s head though the chances of that were… minimal. At best.  
"L… love?“  
Connor looked at you, puzzled, frightened, hopeful?  
Sighing you took the bull by the horns. There was no turning back now. Damn, this was not how you imagined confessing this to him but you had to go through with it now.  
“Yes Connor. I love you.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After admitting your love to Connor, things slowly fall back into place and Connor slowly begins to calm down, shaking off his insecurities (hopefully, that boy has too many complexes for a single android/person). Pure syrupy sweet fluff ahead. Plus he really needs to make amends with Hank.
> 
> Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

Connor was perplexed to say the least and you could almost feel the tension leaving his body. So you stepped closer to him, splaying a hand on his chest to where his thirium pump had kicked into overdrive, feeling the slight thud under your palm.

“I… I don’t understand”, was all he mumbled while gazing down at you.  
You smiled and went to stand on your tiptoes to place a kiss to the corner of his mouth, featherlight, barely there. But Connor’s senses were heightened now and he felt a strange sensation running through him with every pump of his artificial heart.  
“I love you Connor. What’s there not to understand?”

It was kind of cute to see him standing there, clueless and with slightly parted lips.  
“I didn’t mean to blurt it out like that but I’m glad I said it. You have to know that there’s nothing you can say or do that makes me think less of you. What’s done is done. And it’s a part of who you are. Maybe if things had been different you would be different too. I wouldn’t want that”, you admitted, still smiling, still reassuring.

Connor lifted his hand to yours, still resting on his chest and clasped your wrist, squeezing it for comfort once. A so very faint smile played around his lips that seemed to be making its way to his eyes slowly but steadily. He sighed.

“That’s… I... You mean more to me than you might know, (Y/N). I’ve never felt anything like this ever before. And I didn’t think I ever would… So bear with me if I'm acting strange or out of line. I… I just want to be the man you see in me. Like I’m something better than I actually am and not just… this faulty machine with feelings for the most kind and wonderful girl I’ve ever know. I want to show you that I can be more. It might not make sense right now but I don’t know how else to put it. I’m different when I’m with you. I feel different. Like my system has been flooded with these warmth. With joy. I’m happier since I met you. If that’s how it feels like, then… I love you, too. With all I’ve got.”

You looked up into his chocolate-caramel eyes and almost lost yourself in his gaze. So full of affection, fondness and trust. It was intoxicating and your heartrate kicked up a notch.  
You knew you were his first everything and that he might have difficulties getting his feelings sorted out. Which was perfectly normal even for humans. Many of them were emotional cripples, you knew that first handed. How Connor was able to wrap his head around the concept of all these emotions was beyond you.

That was why you had not intended to use such a strong word as 'love' for the time being. Wanting him to get comfortable with being together with someone romantically first. The physical level had already been kind of an obstacle for him. Though he seemed fine the first time you two kissed by your front door, but from there on out it was kind of a hard topic for him, whatever the reason here was.

To say you were surprised at the way he had just confessed his love to you just now would have been the understatement of the year. You were giddy with happiness and didn't know where to put all these feelings at once.

"Connor… I… you're anything but faulty. Don't say those things about yourself anymore. Please. I don't want you to see yourself that way ever again. And if it takes a lifetime to persuade you and make you forget all these horrible things I will gladly take on that task. I'm not as flawless as you make me out to be. I've just not told you every dark detail about myself. Because it doesn't matter anymore. What matters now, is you and me. Here and now. Nothing else, okay?"

Connor nodded sheepishly. And with that he drew you closer, chest to chest, while he bowed his head, searching your lips. Your arms came around his middle, fingers curling in on themselves on his back while he held on to your hips. Complying all to happily your eyes closed automatically when his mouth skimmed over yours, featherlight, tiny puffs of artificial breath ghosting over your parted lips.  
“I don’t deserve this”, he breathed out, never breaking contact for too long. His words held no certainty though. Only relief and disbelief.  
“You deserve all of this”, you murmured back and finally closed the last small gap between the both of you and kissed him. 

He was hesitant at first, letting you take the lead, you drew in his bottom lip to lightly nibble on it before he finally let go and kissed you back. Full force. Boy, could that man kiss! It should have not surprised you anymore but it did. If you would ever get used to the feeling of him working your mouth so expertly?  
An involuntary quiet moan left your mouth and he hungrily swallowed it down, taking advantage of you being all wrapped up in his touch, smell and feel to deepen the kiss, making you melt into him completely.

If that was what it took to reassure Connor, then you would gladly dedicated the rest of your days to exactly that.

***

Connor had stayed after that, snuggling up on the couch with you, quietly talking and cuddling for a while. He had been worried so badly when he arrived. Worried to lose everything he had come to cherish, feeling love, affection and being loved and accepted for simply being himself in return. He was not used to it but oh did he want it to last.

He had told you his story, his walk through hell and you did not know in how many ways it had truly affected him, how he had been prior to all this, the person he was before and how it still would affect him in the future. But you would be there for him. That much was for certain. 

Connor left way into the night and you flopped down on your bed around 2:30 am, exhausted yet not so tired that you could immediately go to sleep. You pondered the earlier events.  
That had been quite a revelation. He had poured his whole heart out, symbolically, letting his guard down in front of you completely. If that was not a sign of pure and utter trust you did not know what was.  
He was still scared though. He really had offended Hank yesterday, totally unnecessary and unjustly. But he could not take back what he had blurted out in his irrational moment of panic, could not pretend this big elephant was not in the room right now and go back to business as usual.  
You tried to reassure him that Hank would understand. From what you had gathered at your first meeting he had just as much a soft spot for Connor as you did. He would not hold his fear against him and kick him to the curb because of this slip up.

And when monday came, Connor put on his work clothes, fixing his tie one last time before he went out of his small apartment, hoping and praying to every deity he could pull out of his database that you would be right. 

***

Connor arrived at the precinct, same time as every day, the public room at the entrance already buzzing with life. He quickly made his way to the turnstile and through the bullpen, making himself as invisible as he could get.  
Since friday he had the feeling that it was written on his forehead for all the world to see just what an awful bastard he had been.

A weight was lifted from his shoulders when he saw Hank’s desk empty. It was way too early for the lieutenant to start his day anyway.  
By the time Connor arrived at his own working space, he found a sticky note dangling from his terminal. In scrawly handwriting there was just one word on it with an exclamation mark. His recognition algorithm told him it was Gavin’s but he did not need a fancy software to know who left him this “love letter” saying “PRICK!”.  
With a frown on his face Connor yanked it down and threw it in the trash can where he had put all of these notes from the previous months. 

“Oh speak of the devil, I was just thinking about you”, Gavin’s voice sounded from the front of his desk. Shutting his eyes tightly for a second Connor looked up and met Gavin’s gloating mug, standing there with his arms crossed, legs apart, sporting a smug smile, clearly pleased with himself.  
“Yes, I could tell”, Connor answered with a fake pleasant smile on his face, which was the best way of baring his teeth.  
“It’s endearing to see how much effort you put into our relationship... I was starting to think you wanted something more than just being friends… After all, teasing is a sign of affection.”  
Connor raised his eyebrows and clasped his hands in front of himself, tilting his head slightly. You could say he was in a mood. Gavin did that to him sometimes.

“Hah! Phck off tin can and don’t flatter yourself! I don’t touch plastics. Least of all you.”  
Gavin scrunched up his nose.  
“I wouldn’t touch you with a ten-foot pole.”  
“Huh. That’s odd. And yet you get into my personal space more often than not. Cornering me like you want me to...”, Connor mused, a glint in his eyes. Gavin was an easy mark if handled the right way.  
“I said SHUT. YOUR. PHCKING. MOUTH!”  
Connor would be lying if he said he did not like those days where he efficiently fought back and did not restrain himself. Putting Gavin in his place was after all very satisfying. Still he kept it to a minimum, just not today. And so he pushed on.

“I would have had to disappoint you anyway, Gavin. Not that you’re not a very gentle, kind and fragile soul just disguised as the most self-centered, vicious jerk around. But I’m already taken.”

Was that a smart move? Give a personal detail like that away? Oh, well, it was out now anyway. Take that, Gavin! See how you like it! 

Gavin’s eyes widened. First in shock, then disbelief.  
“Good one. Hah. Like hell you are. What pervert would hate himself that much?”  
Connor opened his mouth to speak, when a familiar voice answered for him.  
“You better believe it! She’s a very nice girl. Pretty too. And now back the fuck off and let the grown-ups work before I drag your sorry ass away”, Hank rumbled and shot Gavin a death glare.  
“Oooooh, old man’s grumpy. Short on booze I guess, huh?"  
He took a step backwards in mock-fear and nearly stumbled, just barely catching himself.  
“Do yourself a favor and crawl back into that hole where you came from. I don’t need to start my day with an asshole like you who think’s a sharp tongue equals a sharp mind. Go and find someone else to bother. Or do that paperwork your weaseling yourself out from every time.”

Connor stood there, a little dumbfounded when Gavin muttered something unintelligible and went the way he came from.  
“You know if he put half the energy he uses to annoy us into actually working he wouldn’t be that bad a detective”, Hank commented and sat down at his desk with a groan.  
“Maybe”, was all Connor mumbled and shook himself out of his daze, sitting down too.

Why was Hank here so early? He was not yet ready to face him after the incident on friday, not yet sure how to make amends and apologize properly. Not for the lack of trying though, Connor had played this conversation out in his head many times, calculated possible outcomes and their chances of succeeding. Still it was something different with being confronted with the actual situation here and now.

He might just get it over with. It was not like Connor was allowed on the streets again with Hank just yet. Fowler had silently extended his desk duty by piling up more case files on his table during the last week. So he was not going to go with Hank out today either, no uncomfortable and awkward silence in the car. If that was a good or bad thing he had not decided yet.

“Hank I…”, Connor started at the same time as Hank did.  
“So, you talked to her?  
“Hm?”  
“(Y/N)? Your girlfriend? You remember her, don’t you? With the pretty eyes and smile?”  
Hank’s eyebrows shot up, the slightest of smiles on his face.  
“What? Yes! Of course I do. I was just… I need to apologize to you first of all. Friday was… unacceptable. I was unacceptable and I hope you can forgive me, Hank. I wasn’t in the right mind and I shouldn’t have reacted that impulsively and unfair. I understand if you don’t want me around for the time being. You have every right to be mad at me.”

Connor’s voice grew quieter the more he said. He did not know if that even began to cut it. He felt like he had not said enough but did not know what else there was to say either. He was just sorry. Simple as that.  
Hank huffed. Of course. Did he really think he would be let off that easily?

“Are you fucking kidding me, Connor? I’m the one who owes you an apology for blurting this out like that. I should’ve just kept my mouth shut altogether. It’s not a topic for a first meet-up with your friend’s girlfriend anyway...”  
Hank averted his gaze.  
What now?  
Connor tilted his head? Was his audio unit malfunctioning? Did Hank just...

“No, Hank. Please. I’ve been a real ass to you! I’ve said many things I did not mean that way and that were simply unjust.”  
“I don’t think they were… You’re finally going back to your old self. Getting back your self-esteem. She’s good for you. I haven’t seen you that invested and riled up in a long time. And you had the right to hurt. I should really trust you on your own. After all you’re modelled after an adult. I don’t need to babysit you.”

Connor was relieved, if that was even close to the feeling of this huge weight being lifted off his shoulders that had threatened to crush him wholly. He let out an artificial sigh, he did not know he was holding.

“Hank…”, Connor started but paused again and looked at his feet.  
Did he sound choked up? He had not meant to, at least not consciously.  
“Aw, for god’s sake Connor, stop it! That was about as much soppy stuff as I can handle in one day. Or a month!”  
Hank shifted uncomfortably in his seat when Connor did not respond.  
“Let’s settle this like men, huh? Not like in some of that fancy romance novels you read for research… We both fucked up, but we’re good again, ‘kay?”  
Hank stared at Connor, who sat there, looking small, mouth slightly hung open. He needed to slow his racing mind.  
He had worried for nothing. He should really stop overthinking, you had been right about that. With slack features and newfound hope that everything would fall into place he gave a simple answer.  
“Okay.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally things are looking up and there are no dark clouds on the horizon for you and Connor. Still you can’t help contemplating this thing between the two of you. While having a little downtime to yourselves Connor surprises you with a simple question.
> 
> Just sweet tooth-rotting fluff. 💙
> 
> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

Another two weeks had passed and Connor seemed to have come to terms with the events of the past few days. It had been a real rollercoaster and he was not keen on repeating it any time soon.  
Hank had not once brought the eventful night up again and so Connor did not either. It was Hank’s way of dealing with most things. Once they were out in the open and dealt with, it was forgiven and forgotten.  
Connor was very grateful for that in a way.  
And also for the fact that Fowler seemed to have taken pity on him, relieving him of his desk duty to go out in the field with Hank again after his slip up on your date that ended with broken bones for two of those three men.

Connor had stopped defending himself, justifying his actions. Fowler did not want to hear about any of it anymore and just sent him on his way.  
Well, at least he was back where he felt he belonged now. It gave him less time to overthink.

***

You had spent every evening together since the big talk. Connor would come over to your place after work now regularly and most times you were home before he arrived. But one night he had already been sitting on your doorstep when you arrived from running some errands.  
And god, if that did not pull at your heart strings. Coming home to someone waiting for you. No, not just someone. Him.  
Connor was smiling brightly as soon as you appeared in his line of sight.  
You would not normally call yourself particularly romantic, not more than anyone else anyway, but it left you feeling all warm and fuzzy inside when he stood up and met you halfway to greet you with a lingering kiss and a hug you felt on your skin even hours after he let go.

That was when you decided he would get your spare set of keys.  
You could tell by the way his eyes started to shine and twinkle how much that gesture meant to him.  
Yes, deep down you had an inkling that things were moving forward very quickly for your standards but it did neither feel strange nor rushed at all to you.  
It was just so different with Connor. Intuitive. Natural. Easy.  
Or maybe that was exactly how it was supposed to be and you only had bad experience to compare it to.

Did the fact, that he was an android play a part in this? You didn’t know.  
You still had a hard time wrapping your mind around that anyway. Not because it felt weird or wrong. No, not at all.

But because he just did not seem like a man-made being to you. Far from it. If not for obvious physical characteristics like his LED or that he could deactivate his skin whenever he wanted, you would have never believed the color of Connor’s blood would not be the same as yours.

These insecurities you uncovered in him, these deep felt feelings he had shown towards you or Hank. Despair. Fear. Anger. Love. Everything was so… real. He was real.  
On the one hand his razor-sharp wit, on the other hand his utter cluelessness when it came to certain aspects of life. The way he handled his job, capable and determined. And the way he treated you, so tenderly and fondly in contrast.  
It was the perfect mix. And that alone blared out the fact that he was manufactured and not born. There was no such thing as perfection when it came to humans. Or did you just see him through rose-tinted glasses?

Yet he was so very unlike how you imagined an android would be. Not that you knew much about deviants… Damn all those prejudices spread by corporations and the media! It really messed with your head.

You decided to stop overthinking this issue as of now. Your feelings for him were genuine and vice versa. That had to be enough. It would be enough.  
Love was not rational and there was no one who could tell you what you could and could not feel for someone who had stumbled into you life by accident and swept you right off your feet.  
Not with how the world was changing now. People just had to start accepting these changes.

You chose to stop putting reason and worry before your own happiness for once but it was hard to shut out all the headwind you were confronted with.  
What other people thought they needed to say about your relationship.  
Calling your love sin, an abomination whenever you were out together somewhere. Hassling, condemning and insulting you. Trying, for the purest of reasons of course, to keep a human out of the dangerous claws of an android. Still in denial about seeing them as something different than an unfeeling machine. A threat to them.

Not all people were like this though. Most of them were surely not overly excited, this being still new and… uncommon, but keeping their opinion to themselves, letting you be. After all it was legal for an android and a human to have an intimate relationship now outside of those sex clubs. Not many chose to act on it though.

Some people were even enthusiastic, praising your courage and determination to face the obstacles that were without a doubt in your way and take the risk. After all this was the best way of including androids into human society. Which was exactly what the androids under Markus’ lead and android-friendly humans were fighting for. Be seen as equals. Be respected. Be free.

These people were the great exception though. You’ve encountered more of the angered and scared kind as time progressed. They had always been there, protesting on the streets against androids stealing jobs. And now domestic partners too. This was a perversion that in their eyes should not be tolerated and supported by the government!  
They protested against androids being granted their demands. How dare they wanting to be put on the same footing as the human race? Calling it madness and treason to even consider the possibility of that when negotiations with the android leadership had started.

These fundamentalists and dogooders equally, were the most dangerous ones. And they were present everywhere, in every social class, in every quiet neighbourhood. They were public services employees and women coming together in knitting groups. It spread through from an unemployed woodworker to an overpaid manager.  
Hate did not know any salary cap.

All of these thoughts kept you on your toes and slightly jittery when going out with Connor. Mindful not to be the center of attention and vulgar comments again. But with making your connection official and holding hands in public you had a few unpleasant but harmless encounters. So you took to staying at home most of the time. In the perfect little bubble of calm and peace that was your home. Not that you minded being snuggled up with you boyfriend (oh god, your beautiful, sweet and sexy boyfriend!). Lying on your couch, resting between his legs with your back to his chest like you did now. Connor was idly playing with your right hand, turning and caressing your fingers and palm, eyeing it curiously like it was something he had never seen before.  
You were currently reading a book on your tablet, humming in contentment when he started to massage the back of your hand, his head on your shoulder to read the book together with you.

“I don’t get it”, you started quietly, “you could just download that book right? Why would you bother reading it the old fashioned way?”  
You turned your head to meet his gaze and saw him smile fondly down at you..  
“Of course I could but I like it like this. It’s soothing in some way. Also it’s something I can do together with you.”  
You returned his smile and turned your attention towards the novel again.  
“I like this too”, you said after a while, still smiling.

A few heartbeats later you felt Connor’s artificial warm breath ghosting over your neck, followed suit by his equally as warm and soft lips. Leaving tingling little pecks from shoulder to ear to cheek, very much distracting you from the words before your eyes.  
Damn it, you had reread that paragraph four times by now and could not for the love of god repeat what it had said.

“Connor…?”, you asked in a warning tone, not being serious of course, enjoying his gentle caresses more than anything.  
“Hm?”, was all he breathed out innocently, knowing exactly what you were implying, never stopping though. He was a man on a mission! He would not let get anything in his way.  
“What do you think you’re doing”, you questioned playfully but tilting your head to give him better access despite what you said. You closed your eyes and just savored the feeling of his silky lips on you.  
“Do I really have to spell it out for you”, Connor mumbled against your skin, smiling, “and here I was thinking you knew what that is.”

Once Connor had come out of his shell, after so many times encouraging him to do what felt natural, to do what he wanted to do, it seemed you had finally gotten through to him. He was not so overly cautious around you anymore, scared he might be touching you inappropriately.  
Since then his hands and lips hand been all over the place. The place being you.

And oh, he was very affectionate, not in public but here in your little sanctuary your lips were never safe from him. You even made out on this very couch last weekend. You loved every millisecond of it.

“I do know what it is, you big dummy”, you chuckled, “but I really wanted to read at least this chapter.”  
You moaned when he bit down gently where your shoulder met your neck, licking the bite straight afterwards and soothing it with his tongue.  
God, this felt deliciously good!

His unoccupied hand snaked under your shirt, fingers stroking the sensitive skin of your belly, making a shiver run down your spine.  
“And I”, Connor answered between a new series of small kisses to the spot behind your ear, which he had found out made you mewl whenever he did this, “wanted to initiate foreplay.”  
Your eyes shot open and you felt yourself stiffen up. What?

Connor of course felt the shift in your posture and let go of your neck immediately, but not of your hand.  
You turned around in his lap, putting the tablet away while disentangling yourself from his embrace to look at him, both hands braced on his thighs.  
“Are you… are you serious”, you asked, raising your eyebrows at him.  
This was not what you had expected.  
“Is that… is that really what you want?”

You had not dared to hope this would happen sometime soon. But… well, okay, that was not right. You kind of had hoped for it.  
The thought had been running around your mind for a while now. How it would feel to be with him in a sexual way, being as close as you could get physically. Finding out if he was even interested in this kind of intimacy. Kissing and fumbling was a whole other story.  
Maybe, you had mused, he did not feel the need for sex. How were you supposed to know? This was a talk you yet had to have. But with him proposing the idea now that one was off the table for sure.

You regarded him closely, looking for any sign of discomfort or uncertainty. There was always the possibility that he did this because he thought it was what you wanted. Not that he would be wrong assuming this. But you wanted it to be his choice and his alone. Regardless of what you were wishing for.

Connor’s eyes were holding a sincerity that made it hard to look the away. And so you did not, drowning in a pool of warm brown. His hands came to rest on your waist.  
“Yes”, was his simple and serene answer. He blinked once.

You brought your hands up to cup his jawline, placing a lingering kiss on his lips. Full of yearning, anticipation, happiness. He complied all too eagerly, melting against you, his arms snaking around your waist to pull you closer. He brought his own fiery need into the mix, indulging into the kiss.  
It was like a perfectly rehearsed dance by now, lips moving against the other’s. Kissing was Connor’s favorite leisure activity it seemed and you were happy to support him in exploring that hobby.

When you broke the kiss for air you let your forehead rest against his, trying to slow down your racing heartbeat.  
This was it. The moment you had hoped for. Had been looking forward to. Been curious about and a little bit scared of as well.

You have never been with an android before. Would it matter? Would it be any different at all? Would you meet his expectations?  
Androids were designed to perform top-notch in everything. How could you, a simple human, compete with that?  
You stretched up and kissed the LED on his temple, spinning a calm blue.  
A strange feeling settled in your gut that tables had just turned. Suddenly you felt not good enough for him. Wherever that fleeting thought had come from now.  
And as if he had sensed your inner turmoil, Connor brushed his thumb over you cheekbone, smiling fondly at you.

“Will you let me bed you”, Connor questioned, voice barely above a raspy whisper, his face only inches away, eyes fixed on yours. Hopeful, tender, encouraging.  
And before your brain had even thought this whole thing through, determining if this was such a good idea, you felt yourself nod.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I present you: THE LONG DUE SMUT 👀 Pure and 5k words of it. *woops* What else is there to say? Hope you enjoy!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW! Explicit sexual content! Kids, better stay away! Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

Your pulse was racing, heat creeping up to you face. As if to convince yourself you breathed out a shaky “yes” in addition, never breaking eye contact.  
Connor’s hand lingered on your cheek, the smile not leaving his face. If anything it only got wider. He pressed his lips gently to yours and stroked your flank as if to reassure you. Like you were the one needing reassurance now. But… he was not wrong.

“Well then… Lead the way?”  
Connor chuckled at your what you thought must have been a quite dense expression and damn if that did not make you even more nervous.  
You had really come to love the way his voice sounded when he laughed. So sweet, soft and heartily. Like warm caramel on vanilla ice cream. Making you melt inside.  
And your heart did a double flip because you were the one eliciting that sound from him.  
God, could you have been more lucky?

At the same time you felt like you were being sucked into a vortex, your chest too tight and your heart to fluttery for you to cope.  
“Yeah, uh… Sure”, you babbled and scrambled off of Connor’s lap to stand before the couch. Connor followed suit and towered over you, still smiling.  
When did your roles get reversed anyway? It was not fair.

“Are you alright, love”, he asked softly while searching your face, taking your hand and intertwining your fingers.  
Oh, this man could come up with the most perfect things to say. Especially that pet name you were so very taken by.  
“I’m… I’m fine, Con. Just a little nervous is all. You… took me by surprise just now”, you dared to look up at him, trying to smile. It came out a little crooked.

Connor tilted his head like a puppy then. He did that a lot when he was contemplating or processing new information. It was one of those little, adorable quirks he had developed over time most likely.  
And you? You lost yourself in his eyes again. That was what you did a lot. But honestly, that chocolate gaze was too inviting not to. Captivating and soothing in a way you could not put your finger on exactly.  
Your theory, you had told him, was that he was designed to have gentle eyes like that to make every perp out there confess their deepest and darkest secrets to him without a second thought. Being too mesmerized to keep their mouth shut when his gaze was so caring, trustworthy and deep.  
You would have been an easy mark as a criminal and would have gladly spilled your guts when he looked at you like that.  
He did not argue with you on that.

His eyes did that trick yet again and you felt yourself relax the longer you looked at him. There really was no need to be nervous, you told yourself over and over. After all the man of your dreams stood before you, asking for your permission to make love to you. And you stood here, glued to your spot and waited for something to happen just because… Yeah, because of what?  
No, not anymore. You would make something happen, so you mustered all your confidence and found your voice again. It was about damn time.

“Then come on loverboy”, you told him playfully and started to walk in the general direction of your bedroom, “show me what you’re made of.”  
You tugged Connor behind you by your joined hands. He gladly followed.

By the time you reached the bedroom door Connor twirled you around and pushed you up into the wall beside said door with care, one hand beside your head, the other cupping your jaw. His lips were on you in the blink of an eye.  
He claimed your mouth hungrily, his tongue demanding entrance with a fierceness he had not shown often. But you had come to like it. Very much so.  
A surprised squeak left your lips but your eyes closed momentarily and you let yourself be ravished, lost in the feeling of him, your hands coming to rest on his waist.  
“God, I love the way you taste”, he mumbled against your lips between kisses, giving you some time to catch your breath while he showered your jaw with wet, open mouthed kisses.  
You clawed at the back of his shoulders, not able to breath out more than a “uh huh” when you threw your head back against the wall urging him on silently. God, he had you wrapped up around his little finger already.

But Connor understood you even without words. He understood perfectly well.  
Probably sensed the spike of your heart rate or analyzed the chemical composition of your saliva (ugh gross!).  
Yes, he had told you about the tongue he was equipped with, he found it was only fair you knew what he put in his mouth during the day when you were the one he was kissing by night (though being self-disinfecting and whatnot). It was strange the first few times knowing this but whenever you kissed him he only tasted not unpleasantly faintly of mint. Like he had just chewed a gum. So you tried not to think about it too much.

But the outcome now made you forget all about that unsexy background info.  
He brought a knee between your legs, pressing his thigh into the crotch of your pants delicately. You sucked in a sharp breath at the welcomed friction, forehead falling onto his shoulder.  
“Connor… please”, you moaned lowly.  
“Soon, love”, he soothed you, lips on the shell of your ear, placing a featherlight kiss there and his thigh rose up to press harder against you, rubbing slightly.  
Damn, where did he learn that?  
Your hips started to move involuntarily and you realized a second too late that you were shamelessly riding his thigh by now. Oh, you needed something else between your legs than just his thigh!

“Connor, don’t… don’t tease me please”, you whispered, breathing harder with every minute he kept you pinned. You felt the wetness spread between your legs. Were you really that easy?  
“I’m not teasing you, love”, he whispered back, a smugness in his voice you could imagine the corresponding smile to, “just getting you all worked up.”  
“Well… you’re doing… mmmmh… a pretty great job at that.”  
Maybe he would have pity on you if you agreed to his words and throw you onto your bed already. Damnit, all this touching with the clothes on was really getting more and more annoying.

“Don’t you know? I always accomplish my mission”, he joked, but you felt him slightly stiffen after saying those words like they had just triggered an unpleasant memory, clearing his throat.  
“Seems like it”, you agreed.  
You would have been saying ‘yes’ to anything right about now.  
In the back of your mind you registered hands wandering over your hips to your thighs and in a swift motion Connor had picked you up and you encircled his waist with your legs.  
He kissed the corner of your mouth once while you gripped his upper arms, your cheek on his shoulders when started to carry you into the bedroom.  
“See? See how I am not teasing”, he chuckled.

You could not hide the grin anymore. Nor the flush in your cheeks and the wetness soaking through your sweatpants. You wanted this. With every fiber of your being did you want this.  
And if what was poking against your belly through his jeans was any indication, Connor wanted this too. Needed it.

Carefully he laid you down on the bed and you scooted a little further up, propping yourself on your elbows, smirking up at him. Connor stood by the foot end, smiling that heartstopping smile of his while he went to work on the first buttons of his white dress shirt.  
“No no no nooo”, you interjected mock-indignantly and sat up to hold your arms out to him, “let me please?”  
Fluttering your eyelashes. You needed to be the one to take his shirt off. He could not rob you of that!  
Connor stopped his nimble fingers immediately, a fire blazing behind his dark, narrow eyes.  
“If you insist”, he answered with a rough edge to his smiley voice.

The bed dipped when Connor joined you, crawling up to sit on his heels between your parted legs, hands flat on his thighs. He noticed the wet stain you left there on his leg and smirked, waggling his eyebrows at you suggestively.  
“Come here you”, was all you giggled in return as you sat up on your knees before him, a new flush creeping up your neck at his expression.  
Even in this position he was taller than you. God, he was so tall. And handsome. And cute. And yours.  
You would really need to write a ‘thank-you-for letter’ to his designers some day for giving him exactly this looks. Pure self-service most probably, you mused.

You placed your hands on either side of his jaw, caressing his smooth cheeks, thumbs tracing the perfectly placed freckles, surprised at the unusual heat beneath your fingertips. Connor was always warm but never like this.  
It was an artificial warmth, given off by his biocomponents that were working underneath that beautiful exterior. Keeping him alive. And keeping you toasty while snuggled up to him.  
He brought one hand up, clasping your wrist, stroking the back of your hand in return.

You lost yourself again, looking at his face from up close, taking it all in, never seeming to get enough of him. Those long dark lashes, framing his beautiful eyes. Those perfect smooth lips that could drive you to the edge of madness or take you straight up to heaven. The LED swirling fast but still in a blue hue.  
You kissed his cheek first, then the tip of his nose and felt his smile widen. Dragging your hands down you started to undo the buttons on his shirt slowly, fingers trembling a little. Making this task harder than it had to be.

“Shit”, you cursed but smiling nevertheless at your clumsiness.  
“It’s okay”, Connor murmured reassuringly, “just take your time.”  
Oh great, he talked you down again so smoothly. Probably a leftover from his negotiator-past. But damn if it did not work on you.

When you had the first three (fricking little) buttons open you ran a hand over the newly exposed creamy-white skin upwards curling it around the back of his neck just below his hairline. Stretching up to kiss his collarbone, the hollow of his neck, tracing your lips up his fake adam’s apple to the side of his neck and back down again.  
Connor had started to let his eyes fall close immediately, head dropping back and groaning at your soft caresses. His features looked incredibly relaxed.  
A deep rumble from his chest emerged, accompanied by a drawn out “mhhh…”. It was all he could come up with.

You were really looking forward to what came next when he was already so responsive to these little things.  
“You like that, huh”, you asked teasingly, as if you needed to, and were rewarded with his head lolling to side. Biting his lip and throwing you a dazed gaze with a nod.  
“Yeah”, he moaned.  
You captured his lower lip between your teeth and tugged lightly before he responded with a kiss. Then you continued to working the rest his buttons open.

You were pleasantly surprised when you found that Connor had actually some hairs on his chest. Not much, just a touch of it to run your hands through. It led right down from his pecs over his slight abs to the faint v-line and disappeared into the waistband of his pants.  
You would have betted on Connor being a smooth-chested prettyboy.  
Well, you were glad he was not and let out an approving moan.

The shirt hung open over his torso while you let your fingers dance and glide over every patch of skin you discovered making him shudder oh so wonderfully. Tracing every dip and rise of his artificial muscles who in turn rippled and worked under that skin. Oh you really liked to make him shudder.

He shrugged off the shirt, not bothering to fold it up as he was used to, but instead threw it on the floor.  
Your hands were on a journey up his body to wrap around his neck, pulling him down to meet you in a slow and deep kiss as a distraction for your fingers to start working on his jeans.  
But this advanced prototype could not be fooled or played and caught your wrists before your hand made it even halfway to their target, smiling into the kiss. He pulled away slightly with a scolding “ah, ah, ah” and held your hands away from him.

You were breathing heavily already. Damnit. Well, it had been worth a try.  
“You know this is kind of unfair… Stripping me down while you’re fully dressed. Let’s make this even, what do you think”, he whispered hotly and took hold of the hem of your shirt to pull it over your head, joining his dress shirt beside the bed. The tip of his index finger trailed down from your slightly parted lips, over your chin, neck and over the material of your bra down between your breasts to rest on your solar plexus.

It was a weak spot in humans if punched right and equally dangerous for androids. It was where the pump regulator sat, controlling the flow of thirium. But it was also a sensitive spot and you shivered when his finger started do draw small circles there.  
“See? That’s better”, he approved and cupped both your breasts carefully, caressing them before his arms snaked behind your back to expertly unclasp your bra, kissing your neck while he was close enough.  
He pulled the straps off your shoulders by hooking his fingers in and you saw them trembling.  
You never even knew he was capable of having shaky fingers.  
Not that your heart was threatening to thump out of your chest too but that was not something you wanted to think about just now.

When he had freed you of the interfering material he looked at your bare upper body, his eyes glimmering, biting his lower lip and smiling that sweet little smile that told you he was enjoying himself very much just now.  
There was something else there though. Curiosity maybe? Anticipation?

Come to think of it you were probably the first woman he had undressed and seen naked from up close. He most definitely was familiar with the anatomy but not with the rush of emotions that came from being with the one you were about to sleep with for the first time.  
Oh god, you were his first.  
Realisation hit you full frontal in the face.

“So? You’re gonna leave me waiting and wanting or what”, you asked him playfully after a few moments, admiring the way he admired you. You were not used to being ogled that intently in this state of undress. Not that it was unpleasant. Just new.  
Connor had this unfocused, kind of dumbfounded expression on his features, like he had not heard a single word you said.  
You shrugged uncomfortably and rolled your shoulders which made your breasts bounce a little and you could see the way Connor’s eyes followed even the slightest movements, very intrigued by them apparently. Or just horny.  
Huh. You had figured he was more of an ass guy from the way he liked to caress yours.

“Connor”, you tried again and his head snapped up, looking at you like a child caught with his hands in a cookie jar. All wide-eyed and questioningly. And with a very obvious boner by now.  
“Yes?”  
You laughed at that. He was so guileless sometimes.  
“Are gonna watch me all night or do you plan on actually taking me to bed like you promised?”  
“Yes”, he said again and gulped.  
“Yes what, dear?”  
Oh you were so mean. You smiled to yourself.  
“Of course I will. I’m just… I was… God, you’re beautiful”, he finally snapped out of it and came forward to cup your jaw again, his kiss gentle but demanding.

His other hand, naturally, went to one of your breasts, kneading the soft flesh, learning your curves while his mouth was busy devouring you.  
You let him take the lead, stroking his back and did not object when he lay you down on the bed, eagerly spreading your legs so he could rest between them.

He busied himself with tugging your pants and panties off your hips. Stroking the warm skin he found there, placing wet kisses from your belly to your thighs. But never once going where you wanted him most now.  
You bit your lip at those touches. Just hurry up, you thought.

When he had enough of that Connor sat up and opened the button and fly of his jeans, pulling them down with his boxers in one motion while you lay there enjoying the view. He was fully erect, standing up proudly. He had every right to.  
You felt your heartbeat quickening.  
Why would he be equipped like that? CyberLife, what were you thinking?! You just could not wrap your head around that fact.  
Connor was watching you, unsure, expectant, with an unspoken question in his eyes and a blush on his perfect cheekbones.

You simply smiled at him and held out your hands again.  
“Come here, handsome. You’ve got work to do!”  
He complied almost without hesitation, coming to rest beside you, lying on his side. He kissed you hungrily. Like the spell was now broken completely, giving you all he had.

Connor cupped your mound in his big palm and stroked you with the heel of his hand, making you moan and writhe. His long middle finger teasingly slipped between your labia but too shallow to do any good really.  
You pressed your head back into the pillows nevertheless, pushing at his shoulders and urging him to get a move on! But he kept up this slow pace of stroking you into a frenzy, kissing your closed eyelids.

“Con…”, you whined, “please… more. I need… mhhhh… more. Pleasepleaseplease…”  
His gaze met yours. God, you were a mess already. A wet, worked up and panting mess.  
“I can see AND feel that”, he whispered in your ear, “but I need you to be ready for me.”  
With that he pushed two fingers into your heat, working them in and out slowly, stretching you oh so fucking good! Where the hell did he learn all that?  
Your hips moved impatiently at this intrusion, following his fingers, deep sighs escaping your lips while he prepared you.

Connor had almost brought you to the point of no return, you felt a knot forming in your belly signalizing you it was time to let go. If he would just…  
He smiled down at you mischievously then and withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his mouth to taste you on them. Sucking them clean. Smug bastard.  
“You’re a cruel man”, you chided him, chest rising and falling heavily. You dragged a hand over your sweaty forehead, “you could at least finish what you’ve started.”

Connor just winked and climbed on top of you, once again resting between your opened thighs, caressing them.  
“I’ll make it up to you, okay?”  
Connor had himself in hand, stroking for good measure spreading the precum already leaking at the tip.  
You smiled, watching his every move. God, he looked so gorgeous, a flush on his skin and a glint in his eyes.  
He crawled up your body, holding himself steady over you, a hand on your hip. He positioned himself and you felt his tip nudging against your entrance. Oh. Here we go, you thought. This was the moment you had imagined a good few times over now. You could not wait to finally have him inside of you.  
“May I”, he breathed shakily against your lips.  
So gentle, so careful. You could fall in love with him over and over again.  
You nodded, gulping hard. Just do it.  
And then he pushed into you.

Both of you groaned. It was still a tight fit and he went oh so slowly, mindful not to cause you any discomfort and let you adjust to his size.  
It felt perfect to say the least, him gliding along your inner walls, burying himself in you inch by inch.  
“Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck…”, Connor murmured desperately.  
You did not know if you had ever heard him let out a curse but it still felt like music to your ears.  
“Uh huh. Just… just keep going, baby”, you agreed under your breath, letting him fill you up while your hands soothingly ran up and down his back.

You looked up at him and were immediately charmed. The way his eyes were screwed shut, brow furrowed, lips parted, almost looking like he was in pain but so deep in concentration. This picture had already burned itself deep into your memory.  
The sweet, drawn-out sighs escaping him speaking volumes of just how much he was enjoying himself. And you had not even started yet with the main course.

With a last careful thrust he went in to the hilt, bottoming out, making you shriek out a sharp “ah”. God, that was unexpected. He was so deeply seated inside of you, it was almost a little unpleasant. Or just new. He really was quite well, too well, endowed for a detective unit in your eyes.

“Sorry, love. I didn’t mean to hurt you”, Connor bowed his head to kiss your cheek with a sad look in his eyes.  
“You didn’t… hurt me, Con. It just felt a little… strange. Nobody ever reached… that spot before”, still trying to catch your breath.  
Smiling up at him reassuringly earned you a small smile too.  
“You can start… whenever you want.”

Connor nodded and let his forehead rest against yours, eyes closed. For a moment your breaths mingled, inhaling each other deeply.  
Then he started to move.

Cautiously at first, slow, not pulling out too much at a time, getting a feel for it, getting accustomed to all these new inputs crashing down on him. Feeling you under him, around him. The closeness. The intimacy. The tingling sensation rising up inside of him, transferring data through his system almost faster than he was currently able to process them with him running on overload.

“Haaaa…”, he breathed out huskily, sounding almost alleviated when he drove back into you. You clutched at him, feeling how tense he held himself, needing him to keep you from falling apart. God, this was so much more than you could have dreamed of.

“Please, Con. Don’t hold back… on my account”, you whispered.  
“Love, I don’t… aaaah… I’m gonna crush you if… if I don’t.”  
Why did he have to be so courteous?  
“Please. I won’t break”, you whined again.

Connor stilled for a second, searching your gaze. Probably looking for some kind reassurance.  
He looked so sincere, concerned almost. It made your heart melt.  
“Okay”, he breathed out shortly after, apparently having found what he was searching for in your eyes. Of which you were glad.

He threw his head back and thrust in again with a loud groan. Hard and deep.  
“Hah”, you gasped, eyes shooting open wide. Whew, you had not expected that to be this vigorous. Not sure if you really could take what he was about to give you. But you were certainly going to try.  
Connor gave you little time to recover as he pulled out to thrust in like that again. And again and again and again.  
“Oh, god please”, you keened, mumbling all kinds of curse words and obscenities under the strain he put on you.

He set a fast and relentless rhythm pretty quickly, really not going easy on you but damn you loved every second of it. His moans were guttural, feral while he was breathing harshly through mouth and nose though his words were nothing but tender and soothing.  
You already felt your muscles ache. You did not dare to think about tomorrow.

“Babygirl… aaah… so good. This is… god, this is… I won’t… last long…”, Connor choked out, hips snapping brutally. Was his voice going a little staticky? He was probably at the point of overclocking from the way his movements became more and more erratic. And had he given you a new pet name?  
You ran a hand over his cheek, making him look at you. There was so much fire in his eyes. Love, desire, deep felt and honest.  
“Easy, baby”, you whispered and lifted your head to meet his lips in a fierce kiss while Connor’s hips slowed down to a lazy but still dedicated thrusting.

It was perfect in every way and you clenched around him, making it even more intense for both of you.  
“Uh hm…”, he mumbled while his tongue delicately stroked against yours.  
He brought a hand between your bodies, fingers circling your clit in sync with his movements. Bringing you close to ecstasy with just a few expertly flicks.

Shit, this was going to be over soon if he kept that up. No, you did not want it to be over. Not yet. Not ever. You would never get enough of this. Of him.  
He had spoiled you for any other man. Not that wanted any other man. Never again.

You whimpered feverishly, letting Connor swallow the sounds you made. He changed the angle of his thrusts, going slower again and took both your hands to pin them on either side of your head, fingers intertwined. His thrusts were even more powerful that way.  
You moved as one, feeling complete and entranced like you had never before. The hand-holding somehow intensified the feeling of rapture flowing through your veins. It was intoxicating. Addictive.  
“Connor, Connor, Connor”, you chanted in his ear, making his name sound like the sweetest prayer and felt a tingle forming in your lower belly, indicating that your were about to fall over the edge soon.  
“I’m… I’m here… Just come… I’ve got you”, he breathed out shakily. He was close too.

And then it hit you. The wave of pure bliss that made you feel boneless, bodiless for a split-second as it washed over you. You heard yourself cry out his name, grip on his hands tightening, legs coming up to squeeze his waist while you mewled and moaned out your release.

Your walls tightened around him and that was the signal for Connor to start chasing his own orgasm. He groaned, letting his forehead fall to your shoulder, placing sloppy kisses on your collarbone, riding out your high.  
With a content sigh you stroked your fingers across his knuckles still tightly holding onto each other.  
His hips were thrusting frantically into you, he needed this so bad.  
“Baby, come on… come on… Let go, Con… Come for me”, you cooed into his ear, kissing his heated cheek while you came down, feeling all sated and fuzzy already.

Oh, he would always do what you asked of him.  
You first felt and then heard the rumble in his chest rising up. His thick length began to lightly twitch, body going rigid, tense and then he came with a drawn out, wordless moan, spilling his artificial and warm seed deep inside of you.  
Connor was breathless for a moment though not in need of oxygen but panting nevertheless to cool his system down.

When he was completely spent, he collapsed on top you, careful not to crush you. He felt like he was overheating, system running faster than it was normally able to. A dizziness, that was new to him, clouding his mind. You could see it on his face, a dazed, kind of dopey smile gracing his features, deeply content with himself and the world.

You hugged him close, arms holding him in a tight embrace, squashing him against you, his head in the crook of your neck. You felt him slip from your body, the remnants of your lovemaking trickling out of you, messing up the sheets. You couldn’t care less.

“Oh. My. God”, he mumbled into your skin, overwhelmed and stunned. He kept in inhaling deeply while massaging your flank, his eyes unfocused and spacey.  
Your body was still sensitive, feeling every one of his electrifying touches tenfold. Wow, the afterglow was almost as perfect as the se*x itself.

He did not look at you, like he was shy of meeting your eyes after what you just did but tightened his arms around you, nuzzling into you.  
You smiled to yourself. He really was just a cute and smoochy puppy right now. Or maybe he just needed some time to process the whole thing. You couldn’t blame him. He had really fucked your brains out too in the best of ways.

“You really pounded me into the mattress”, you smirked to lure him out of his shell, running a hand through his hair. A new blush creeping up his neck to his face but he moaned approvingly at the touch.  
“Is… is that a good thing”, he asked innocently, lifting his head to finally look at you with those big doe eyes.  
“A very good thing”, you assured laughingly and Connor stretched up to meet your lips for a longing kiss.  
“That’s good then”, he declared with a sincere certainty that triggered your next fit of giggles.

You lay there for a while, just basking in the feeling of being so close. Having been even closer just minutes before. Each lost in their own thoughts. Looking down at that beautiful face snuggled up to you made your eyebrows go up.  
Were his eyelids drooping?  
“Aww, are you sleepy baby”, you whispered softly against his temple, kissing the blue swirling LED, “you should rest. Go to sleep. I’ll be here when you wake up.”

“I’m not sure”, he mumbled, “I’ve… I’ve never been tired before. Not like this.”  
After a moment of contemplating he went on.  
“You don’t mind me going into stasis now?”  
“Not a single bit”, you answered truthfully and gazed deep into his eyes. He just smiled.

Connor retrieved the blanket from the foot end of the bed and covered you both before returning to his place wrapped around you.  
You felt the thrum of his thirium pump steadying, his breath coming in soft puffs against your neck as you fell into a dreamless slumber.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a fluffy little snippet of life with an android and another encounter with Gavin at the DPD. Sassbot protocols have been activated.
> 
> Sorry, this is kind of a filler chapter. I’m sorting out how to best continue from here. So I might not make the weekly update next time. But I’m trying! There’s just too many possible ways it could go in my head. 
> 
> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

Connor had more or less moved into your apartment by the end of the month. It was not like there was much keeping him at his place anyway and so, with the few belongings he owned, he had settled in with you.  
Hank had helped him get his stuff to your place and you swore you saw his eyes get a little wet when Connor proudly beamed that he now was “home at last”.

You had made room in your closet and drawers for his clothes and even cleared a shelf in the bathroom for him until it dawned on you that he would probably not need that kind of space anyway. That this was a purely human thing most likely.  
Connor put his arms around you and thanked you sincerely when you told him about your stupid but well meant gesture. He thought it was sweet and mindful to make him feel cared for like that.  
Later you saw that he had put his comb, body wash plus shampoo for his synthetic skin and his cologne on display there.  
You smiled at that.

Before you went to sleep that first night in your now shared home, Connor had sat on his side of the bed (he had his own side now!) and put away a few of his things in the end table. He was dressed in a simple white t-shirt and blue checkered boxer shorts, feet still firmly on the ground and gazing out of the window that looked out on the darkened residential area. You stood in the doorway and watched him for a while before he turned around with a curious smile on his face, patting the bed beside him when he scooted up and leaned against the pillows.  
You gladly walked over and joined him, snuggling into his side with naturalness, head on his shoulder. Like it had never been different.

Connor put his arm around you, pulling you close to him while you drew small circles with the pads of your fingers on the fabric over his stomach. This felt so right, you could not even find the right word for how much.  
“I never thought I would be able to feel like this”, Connor murmured into your hair with a happy undertone, “for a long time I didn’t even know I was capable of such strong feelings at all.”  
“Or maybe you did know and just chose to ignore it”, you mused.  
“Maybe. I’m not sure”, he trailed off, “I remember there was a shift someday where I noticed something inside of me was changing, but… I was so focussed on solving these deviancy cases then. Always having my deactivation in the back of my mind should I fail… There was not much else I could concentrate on other than what they had tasked me with.”  
His voice was soft and low.

Kissing a spot on his neck, you looked up at him.  
“This is long over now, Con. No one will ever threaten or mess with you again like that. And whoever tries will get in trouble with me first!”  
Connor smiled down at you.  
“Oh, woe betide them”, he answered with drawn up eyebrows in amusement.  
“Damn right! No one touches or hurts my man and gets away with it”, you huffed and slapped his chest lightly when he started to laugh.  
“I mean it”, you clarified and leaned on your elbow to look him straight in the eyes.  
“Not if I can help it. They’ll have to deal with me first. I’ll never let anything like that happen to you again. They’d have to go over my dead body.”

And you really did mean it, you would protect him at all costs. It was not a conscious decision really. You just knew you would.  
Connor had grown so much on you. More than you would have thought possible. It did not matter that you would not even know how to fight back if someone came for him. Maybe you could just flail your arms and scream until they left you alone. It was not very probable but worth a try, right?

Connor looked at you dreamily, a hand coming up to cup your cheek.  
“Oh, love… When did my cuddly lion cub become such a fierce lioness”, he chuckled and kissed you.  
“I think that happened about the same time that I fell in love with a certain detective. When I decided to not be scared anymore”, you answered and kissed him again. And again. And again.  
“Sounds about right.”  
Connor laid you down on the bed, hovering over you while kissing the living daylights out of you. Or that was what you thought he intended to do. And it worked. Damn did it work.

“You should sleep, love”, he whispered when his kisses got slower, “it’s late already and you need to be up early again tomorrow.”  
“Nononono! Not on your first official night here. You’re not getting away with just a few kisses, mister and skip the interesting part”, you told him with your legs crossing over the small of his back, keeping him in place. You felt the heat already pooling between your legs. God, he did things to you!  
“You’re gonna be all grumpy tomorrow if you don’t get enough sleep”, he chided, but the corners of his mouth turned up.  
“Am not!”  
“Are too!”  
“I’m never grumpy! Why would you say that?”, you asked, running a hand through his hair, ruffling it.  
“What do you call it then, hm?”  
He followed your hand with his head, trying to keep them in contact.  
“Ehm… Terse?”  
Connor let out a huff.  
“Sure, love… if that’s what you tell yourself…”, he quipped.  
You had to laugh out loud at that. He could be really sassy sometimes.

“Hey, cut me some slack okay? I’m not used to be worn out every night by my boyfriend. I need to recover from that sometime.”  
“I just offered you to recover tonight! But you insist on me wearing you out yet again”, he told you with the most sincere face.  
“Tonight of all nights you’re gonna get all chivalrous on me?! Just please tear of my clothes now, would you? Or I’m gonna die of frustration!”

He seemed to contemplate that for a moment before he answered, mischief in his eyes.  
“Now, we can’t have that, can we”, and then his hands travelled down your body and disappearing inside of your panties, pulling them of your legs elegantly.  
It was a well practiced dance by now.  
You sighed out in relief and closed your eyes when you felt his artificial breath ghost over your heated skin.  
Ugh, finally!  
But then all breath left you as his mouth descended on you, tongue coming out to play your favorite game. God, he really did have a skillful tongue.

***

The next morning Connor strutted into the precinct in a way that reminded Hank of his earlier days with him, walking in here like he owned the place, that damn android.  
He had lacked that significantly in the past few months.  
Connor had a tall cup of coffee in his hand, a cocky smile on his face and made a beeline for his desk. It was not often that Connor would show up later then Hank. The lieutenant could only imagine what must have caused the delay. And he groaned inwardly at those thoughts, not wanting to think about what Connor was up to at night.  
“Good morning Hank”, Connor chirped and set the cup on his partner’s desk.  
“Good mornin’ to you too. Any particular reason that you’re smiling like you’ve been shot in the knee”, Hank reclined in his chair, hands clasped together in front of his stomach.

He was, as per usual, his grouchy, lovable self on the outside but deep down it filled him with the warm and fuzzies to see Connor so relaxed again. Though he would never openly admit to that except maybe under oath. Or… no, maybe not even then.  
Connor had a way to annoy the hell out of him with his almost constant rainbows-and-sunshine-mood lately. Not that he was begrudging him his newfound happiness.  
Hank had once been young and in love too. And Connor deserved everything and more after what he had gone through. But could he not just… ease up a bit? Let an old man like him live his life in peace?

“What? Do you REALLY want me to repeat the way we celebrated our moving in together yesterday”, Connor asked, eyebrows raised in a mocking way, that smile still plastered across his face.  
Hank’s grossed out expression as he waved him off with a “hell no” told him everything he needed to know and he smiled again.  
“Are you sure? There would be sooo much to tell”, he teased on and Hank slammed his hands on the desk, making the clutter rattle.  
“Argh! Connor you’re disgusting… Would you just shut it? I don’t need to know that!”  
At that Connor snorted.

“For fuck’s sake. You know, what?! I really liked you better when you were all sad and depressed”, Hank grouched.  
“We both know that’s not true, Hank”, Connor retorted, inclining his head and still grinning like the little shit he sometimes could be..  
“It is. You should start going to work sometime, loverboy! Showing up late because you get your rocks off in the early morning and then hassling your partner won’t look good in your disciplinary folder, you know?”  
Hank tried to give him a hard stare but Connor made it almost impossible to be mad at when he was looking like a little kid on christmas morning, being all smiles.  
“Sure, lieutenant. Whatever you say, lieutenant”, he mumbled, grinning at his terminal when he started to go through his recent emails.

“Looking smug, tin can. What’s the occasion?”  
Gavin sauntered over to him, a sardonic smile on his face.  
Connor breathed in deeply. Nope, not even that man could dampen his spirits today. He wouldn’t let him.  
“Did you put you’re charging cable this morning in ‘aaah, fuck yeah… just the right spot’”, Gavin moaned in an attempt to make Connor blush and fell into a fit of laughter straight afterwards.  
Connor was not phased by it.

“Gavin, we really need to stop meeting like this. I’m spoken for, you know? It’ll only break your non-existent heart.”  
“Ahh yes. That story again. Sorry, still don’t buy your bullshit.”  
Gavin crossed his arms over his chest. Connor could not come up with a single reason why Gavin kept coming back to annoy him. Other than it being his favourite pastime.

“So you’ll keep on trying to woo me until you have prove? Is that it”, Connor had looked up, straight into his eyes calm as the smoothest waters but a challenging stare boring into Gavin. Much like he would observe a suspect during interrogation.  
“What”, Gavin spat out, scrunching up his face in disgust, “Not in a million years will I be ‘wooing’ you. Keep on dreaming little robot. Until then have fun with whatever device it is you call your ‘girlfriend’”, mimicking the quotation marks with his fingers.

Hank pretended not to watch the scene unfolding before him. But he did. Would Gavin stop being a prick ever? He doubted it deeply. At least Connor had his fight back since he got together with you, that had to count for something.

Gavin was getting slightly nervous under Connor’s stare, he could see it in his posture and prove it by his increasing heart rate. Connor stood up and towered over him, making it spike up a notch again.  
“You know, _Gavin_”, Connor put extra emphasis on his name, drawing it out unnecessarily, “I would really love to continue this conversation, but I can only listen to so much nonsense in one day. I don’t know what you’re getting out of this but I hope it gets you through the night.”  
“Tsk! Oh, I get my kicks from other things! I just like to fuck with you”, Gavin whispered darkly, matching his warning stare.

Connor sucked in a mock-startled breath, eyes going wide, a hand on his chest.  
“Detective Reed! We have never…”  
“Shut it, you plastic asshole! You imply one more time that I’m into your bitch ass, you’ll see where that gets you!”  
Oh, Gavin was fuming. Good. That was good. It served him right.

Hank could almost not contain himself, shaking with suppressed laughter, covering it up under coughing more than necessary. Damn, how the tables had turned. There might have been a time where Connor had needed time to digest a conversation like that for a few hours or days, but now he gave as good as he got. Finally.  
Hank only hoped that Reed would get the message and find himself someone else to bother. Connor had been his center of attention for long enough already.

Complacently smiling, Connor sat down again, smoothing over his shirt in the process, straightening his tie.  
“I just hope your day is as pleasant as you are. Goodbye detective. Unlike you I have work to do.”  
And with a dismissive bowing of his head Connor went back to stare at his terminal, ignoring Gavin who still stood in front of him, red-faced and brooding before he turned on his heel and went back to his desk.

“Well done, kid”, Hank approved still a little out of breath from his coughing fit, “he had it coming a long way.”  
Connor nodded at Hank, smiling gratefully before going to work for real this time, matching up case files, looking for cross-references between them, some link to a suspect would be nice.

Connor felt Gavin’s gaze boring into his forehead but he could not care less.  
He just cared about getting home on time tonight and putting his arms around you for the rest of the evening.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a quiet time with the soft boy lies ahead. Something is bugging him though and you’ll be finding out what it is. 
> 
> It took me longer to finish this chapter than I would have liked but it’s finally here! I guess I won’t be making the weekly updates because what I’ve written for the next parts isn’t even close to being publish-worthy. But I’m trying. Sometimes real life just takes consumes you. Can’t stretch that enough so thank you everyone for sticking to the story! 💙 Probably wouldn’t have made it this far without you reading my things and encouraging me with all your nice comments!
> 
> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

Later that night you were both in your second favorite spot besides the bed: your comfy couch again. Connor had come to love this little ritual. After you and him got home, you would be draping yourselves across each other in any way you could to create as much body contact as possible. 

It seemed Connor needed that. He loved having you lie back against his chest, while he cuddled you close. Or having your legs draped over his lap, running his hands over them. Sometimes he liked to be held as well, having his head in your lap while you ran your fingers through that incredibly accurately combed hair, gladly ruffling it up a little. Or he lay on top of you, head on your chest so you could stroke his back and neck, full body hug like now. You would have not been surprised if he would start purring sometime soon. His eyes were closed already, savoring the sensation of your hands running all over him with his touch receptors.  
You had to smile when you looked down at his relaxed face, eyes closed, features slack. Almost as if he was asleep.

It never ceased to amaze you how fast Connor had adapted to… this… after being so shy and insecure about showing affection not too long ago. Whatever had held him back then had vanished by now.  
Be it his reluctance of admitting to himself that he in fact had become more human each day since his deviation or the still lurking fear that he might not be anything but a machine with a faulty code after all. That he could be turned back into something lifeless one day again with a flip of a switch. Or whatever horrible scenario his mind had come up with.

You were glad he had told you all the things he had been through since his activation. Or at least a great amount of it. You were not sure if he ever would truly tell you everything. Maybe he didn’t even want to revisit certain events again and honestly, you were fine with that. But whenever it fit or a certain topic came up, he would take the chance and tell you a little more about him, his past and the way things had been. Just like that. Like it was no big deal anymore. And it really, really wasn’t.

You had told Connor almost everything there was to know about you too. Long talks had followed. Quiet and honest. Full of nervous laughter, tears, hugs and reassuring whispers.  
He knew about your past relationship and how you had trouble trusting other people now. That you had been too naive and dewy-eyed for your own good at the time but slowly came to. Thanks to Connor you had been breaking the surface of becoming the person you had always wanted to be. More composed and serene. Not letting every little thing get to you that much anymore and let yourself get thrown off track that easily.  
It was astounding what the right person could do to you. How they were able to ground, strengthen and empower you. Which worked both ways in your case.

You felt that you understood each other better now. Even more than before. Thinking back to your first awkward meeting with an umbrella to his crotch had you giggling. Thanking all the deities, you had not broken him and little him then and there! You would have regretted that very, very much by now!  
Apart from that encounter you had clicked from the very first second, strange as it sounded.

You wondered sometimes how he felt for you. Not as a question of if but how. How he experienced these feelings. If it was similar to the way humans felt. If they consumed his thoughts like they did yours, made him all bubbly and aflutter on the inside as well. How did he feel this?

And how did he see you? The way you saw yourself in the mirror?  
When he looked at you, was his visual input the same as yours?  
He thought that you were pretty in only his shirts and panties or when wearing his too big for you jackets and hoodies. He said you looked beautiful when you did your hair for him. Or not at all.  
But how did he perceive this? You were genuinely curious.

He was so different from you and at the same time not all. You couldn’t help but question him about those things. And Connor had tried his best to explain to you just how his world worked. He had laughed at your slightly agape expression when he got to techy and asked if it really mattered that much because he loved you. Like any human would and could. And he was right.It really didn’t matter.

You turned your attention back to the TV as the news came on, your fond gaze leaving the relaxed android’s face.  
Connor hummed deeply in contentment when you massaged his neck, just right where his connection port was. It was kind of an erogenous zone for him you had found out, more by accident than anything. He was very sensitive there and so responsive to your tender loving care so you took every opportunity you got to just run your fingers over that area.

The news said something about a meeting being held in Washington with the android leadership and you felt Connor tense ever so slightly. They showed footage of the Jericho leader, all dressed up, Markus and Josh leaving the airport for already waiting cars, followed by Simon and North. They all looked kinda grim, not too pleased but maybe it was just you.  
You saw how Connor tried to sneakily pop one eye open to follow the report.

Those guys were a sore point for him still, though he would never admit to that openly. Connor had told about how he had fallen out of favor with them and how Markus had tried to break the news to him gently. How they appreciated him and his efforts greatly but that he could not stay with them for security reasons. Not that it would have been necessary because he was not a threat anymore at that point. But try to convince some who had already made up their mind.

It had broken Connor’s heart then but in some way he understood their doubts. Still. Being rejected when he had felt for the first time in his life, that he was accepted by his own kind, that he was more than just a tool with the right to decide for himself. Markus had reached out his hand to him just a few days before, opened Connor’s eyes to the truth of things. What was wrong and what was right. All that faith Markus had in him then did not matter anymore.  
It did not matter when he was back in that snowed under zen garden. I did not matter that he raised the gun without meaning to shoot. He had just been hijacked by his worst nightmare again when he thought he had gotten rid of it.

He had barely made it out of there alive, could still feel the cold creeping up his skin, that had made it hard for him to move. Looking for the exit in that blizzard frantically before he had finally found it and shut that company out once and for all.  
Connor had come to hate the snow. Which was kinda unfortunate with him still being in Detroit. They had much of that. Very much.

Even in deviancy had CyberLife been able to ruin his life. And this time he had thought it was for good.  
He had turned to Hank during that time, grateful to know he always had his back. But Hank had still his own demons to keep at bay and battles to fight so Connor did not want to add to that, keeping many things to himself.  
Never had he dared to imagine one day feeling like he did today. So utterly content. Like he belonged completely. Like he had found the missing piece to his puzzle.

You swiftly switched the channel to a cooking show and continued to keep a careful eye on Connor. He seemed to relax again, sighing once for good measure, long, dark lashes resting on his cheeks.  
He looked so peaceful. You smiled and kept on stroking his skin. You would gladly do that for the rest of your life if it meant that he was feeling this happy and content. Seemingly without a care in the world.

This Markus did not even know what he was missing out on. That he had kicked out the most loyal, trustworthy and good-hearted guy of their midst without letting him explain his side of things, for his mind had already been made up by him and others. He could have surely been an asset to him with what Connor was capable of..

How that Markus could be a leader everyone looked up to you did not know. Okay, maybe because you did not know him really. Connor always spoke highly of him, but the picture in your head was different a one now that you knew everything there was to it.  
In the beginning you had thought Markus to be a very inspiring, fair and kind-hearted guy. The face of the revolution. Charismatic, energetic and strong-minded.  
Now, you did not like him. At all.  
Yes, you admitted, you were biased. Maybe a bit too much.

Connor shifted, now almost at eye level with you. Looking at you with an unreadable expression, a small and tight smile on his lips.  
“What’s up angel eyes”, you asked lovingly and ruffled his hair a little, “done recharging already?”  
He frowned.  
“I didn’t recharge. My power levels are still…”  
“I was joking, Con”, you interrupted him and let out a short, tender laugh.  
“Ah. Of course you were. Sorry, I… “, he sighed, “I’m probably not the best company right now.”  
“No, you’re the perfect company. What’s wrong?”

Connor let his head loll against the backrest, eyes still glued to yours, a little uncomfortable at your choice of topic.  
“It’s nothing really… “  
“That report”, you questioned softly and he looked away, caught.  
“No. I mean… Yes. Maybe a little. But it’s not important”, he trailed off.  
“It is important if you still react like this”, your hand cupped his face, stroking his cheekbone.  
“Have you tried to get into contact since…. since then?”

Not that you would encourage that. Connor was better than that, he the one who needed to take the first step here. They weren’t even half-worth his time and thoughts if anyone asked you. Use him like that and toss him out. But it clearly still gnawed at him.  
He just shook his head slowly.  
“No. And I don’t plan to.”  
With that Connor put his head on your chest, arms tightening around your middle as his ear pressed to the spot where he could hear your heartbeat the best.  
“I don’t need them anymore…”

For Connor this conversation seemed to be over but you couldn’t help it.  
“Anymore? So you did once?”  
Connor let out an annoyed sigh.  
“Please, just drop it. It’s nothing.”  
Yeah, sure, you thought. But clearly he did not want to share his thoughts now, getting a little snappy at you nagging.  
“Okay. Alright, sorry I keep bugging you. I was just… trying to understand”, you gave in to his wish. You would not pressure him anymore. Connor seemed to relax, his body not as taut as it was moments ago.

For a while you both were silent, you still watching him closely staring at nothing in particular.  
“I could’ve maybe used a friend from time to time…”, he admitted then quietly, seemingly out of nowhere.  
You kissed the top of his head.  
“I’m sorry, Con.”  
“It’s not your fault. It’s nobody’s fault but…”  
You knew he still held a grudge against CyberLife for the mess that was his life and he had every right to. The name of that company did not leave his lips easily anymore. Not as easily as it once did, when this hell was all he knew.

“Don’t go there”, you whispered and kept on running your fingers through his hair.  
Oh, he had so much to work through still.  
“I can’t not think about it sometimes. It’s just not how my system works…”, Connor admitted, sounding beat.  
“Yeah, well. Humans tend to overthink things too, you know? Sometimes you know something is bad for you and you shouldn’t dwell on it but it was so important at the time. And suddenly, a few years later you’re lying awake at night thinking about this exact thing. It’s exhausting…”

Connor squinted up at you, his brown eyes searching your face.  
“Something in particular you’re talking about, love”, he asked, worry tinging his words.  
You didn’t mean to sound so desperate to be perfectly honest. It just came out that way.  
“No… no, not right now. Actually for once I feel like everything is good. And exactly how it should be.”  
You smiled down at him reassuringly and saw the corners of his mouth turn up at that too. Good thing this seemed to cheer him up this time.

“I’m the luckiest one to have met you that day, you know that”, he breathed out and crawled up your body to place a gentle kiss on your lips.  
“I don’t know what I would have done without you…”  
“Oh, please. Come on, Con. You don’t have to give me that whole speech to get into my pants anymore”, you joked.  
“That was not my intention. But if you insist”, he smirked down at you, rubbing your noses together.  
Your hands cupped his face as he hovered above you, his hands braced on the armrest on either side of your body to keep from crushing you. Your legs parted almost instantly to make room for Connor to settle in between them.

Hm. You felt a familiar poking just beside your hip bone and had to grin into the kiss. He was already straining against his pants. You jutted your hips once to show him you noticed and he smiled against your lips too. It really was a curious thing getting an android aroused.

Since he did come out of the box anatomically intact, whatever purpose that had served in the past, he was not able to do anything with his junk back then. Not until there were several protocols released by CyberLife from every model for every model when they nearly shut down, that were accessible for everyone. For any given situation or task.  
And Connor of course had made use of installing almost all of them. Now it was mere a reaction to the input he received and you had on various occasion tried to pinpoint what exactly triggered a boner. Which had you giggling and him blushing more often than not when you brushed up against him, letting your fingers trail down his arms or chest. Rubbing the heel of your hand on the front of his pants made him groan so beautifully and proved to be most efficient even if it was not the most elegant way. You could do elegant too.

But he also seemed to react to not just physical but also to visual and auditive input. Imagination (or in his case preconstruction) and replaying his memory worked just as well as did whispering praise and things you were going to do to him into his ear. Which you found oddly fascinating because it was so close to the human way of things. And you liked to toy with him on some days taking advantage of those facts.

Yes, you might have sent him a picture that showed very little face and much more cleavage than necessary and yes, you might have popped open two more buttons of your blouse in the bathroom stall at work to take a photo like that on your break. But boy, had that been worth it. When Connor came home that evening he was still all flustered and incredulous at how you could do this to him at work. Though he certainly liked what you had sent and the night that followed had been even more than nice. Though you thought he was punishing you and going extra slow.

The next day you received an animated picture of your own, showing a close-up of his long fingers palming himself through his jeans on his office chair and you nearly choked on your coffee, coughing and spluttering for two whole damn minutes. Well, payback is, as they say, a bitch.

Connor’s lips then found your neck and pulled you out of your thoughts. His hot breath sent shivers down your spine, leaving your skin tingling. Your arms tightened around him, hands resting on his broad upper back to clutch at his shirt.  
You felt him latch onto the sweet spot just beneath your jawline, humming while he drove you mad with desire, licking, kissing, sucking… Wait! No!  
“No, Con. Please stop! We agreed on 'not in visible places'”, you tried to keep him from doing any more damage. If that was even possible. Once a hickey was there it was there.

He grinned and a small chuckle escaped him.  
“Well, you should wear a scarf then, love”, was all he said before he resumed to his previous task.  
You were perfectly prepared to scold him for that cheeky answer when suddenly all words died in your throat as a hand began to wander down your side, aiming to make up for not sticking to the rules.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re out with Connor, enjoying a day off in the city together. But -as always- things happen. Bad things. And the day takes a turn you would have under no circumstances expected when you had woken up that morning. The world was a dangerous place.
> 
> **Warnings: Violence, violence, violence. And swearing!**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I.. ehm.. I’ll run for the hills okay? Give me a headstart please! It took all of my willpower to finish this chapter the way it did. I broke my own heart with this again and I’m sorry in advance for the pain I’m inflicting here. 😭 This is pure and a 100% angst! Please don’t hate me for putting my babies through this! (Also I suck at writing action scenes.)

It was a shame that some people still reacted allergic to the fact that humans and androids started to “mingle” and openly showed their romantic bonds. It was not like it had been a problem to be attracted to them before the revolution when they were still viewed as machines, “toys of pleasure” designed after a human being.

When a man or woman had bought themselves an android to act as their intimate partner no one had batted an eye. That was what those models were released for after all and the demand was definitely there. Otherwise places like the Eden Club would not have existed in the first place.  
Those models had been best seller and the owner of android sex clubs like that were well on the wealthy side of life. So why was it so different now that androids were regarded as something similar to humans? All of a sudden it was a problem for actually developing real feelings besides lust and horniness for them. All of a sudden you were being looked at as if you had spontaneously grown a third eye on your forehead.

Luckily since you had officially started going out with Connor you had never had more than a few disgusted looks and mild insults thrown your way.  
That was until now.

You came out of the ice cream parlour when Connor took your hand, bringing it up to kiss your knuckles.  
“Was that a good start for an afternoon out, love”, he asked softly. You both had taken the day off to spend some quality time together. With the weather being extra nice you had decided to go out and do what you felt like doing.  
“A very good start, yes. I hope you’ll have more surprises like that for me”, you smiled back and stood before him, your hands going to his belly to rest ther on the white cotton t-shirt he wore underneath that red and blue plaid shirt. That combo suited him so well.  
It was something you had picked out for him because you liked it. Not that his own clothes were not nice too. But his wardrobe had been… limited and mostly consisting of dark blues and blacks. So you brought back items whenever something caught your eye. To be honest, Connor had never put much thought into clothing other that its practicability.  
Could you blame him?  
It was a good thing he at least did not wear his android labeled jacket anymore since shortly after the night of the revolution though he had kept that thing. Purely out of sentimentality most likely.

“I’ve got a feeling you’ll find out”, he brushed his nose against yours and pecked you on the lips.  
It still made your heart flutter that he was now doing this out on the streets too. Showing others that you were his and he was yours. Connor had made a big sap out of you that much was certain. And maybe even the other way around.

“Shall we?”  
Connor took your hand again and clasped it tightly as you began to walk down the streets of suburban Detroit, talking about the things you may or may not be doing today.  
“I really wanted to go look for some new sneakers! I saw them the other day online but I wanted to try them on first”, you beamed up at him and Connor made a face, rolling his eyes and groaning in fake exasperation.  
“Don’t you have a pair already”, he could not hide the chuckle and did not even try to evade the elbow that collided with his side.

“Careful, Connor. If you wanna sleep in our bed tonight you better think about the next words you’re going to say”, you told him with as much sobriety as you could muster when you looked up into his face with those damn dimples showing again. You were soft for those.  
“Hm. Well for one, I don’t need to sleep”, he mused and turned his head around to meet your gaze, all earnest and sincere.  
“But I’d like very much to lay in bed beside you and watch you sleep, so there’s that.”  
He tilted his head in this cute way he had.

“Creep”, you mumbled with a smirk.  
“What? I’m not a creep. It’s romantic”, he complained when you came to stand at a red light.  
“It’s creepy! You don’t watch people in their sleep unless you plan to murder them or… you know? Do creepy things…”  
Connor laughed at that.  
“You’ve been watching way too much movies, love. I for one have no desire to muffle you in your sleep. At least not with a pillow”, he added that last sentence as an afterthought and nudged your side.  
“Connor!”  
You slapped his arm playfully but had to grin at that too, despite growing a little red in the face.  
“Watch your mouth, there might be kinds around here.”  
He did not say anything to that and merely winked at you as you continued walking across the street to where the shoe shop was.  
God, what he did to you sometimes.

“Oh. So we ARE going shoe-shopping? What changed your mind”, you asked him when you saw he was leading you exactly where you wanted to go. You knew he would, he barely denied anything you asked for and the other way around.  
“Nothing. You know I can’t say no to you, right? Besides I need you to look pretty and that means…”  
All of a sudden you stood still on the spot, Connor yanking on a your arm because he noticed too late and had kept walking before turning to face you.  
“That means I need new stuff? Because I don’t look pretty in the clothes I’ve got”, you asked and tried to look crestfallen without bursting into a fit of giggles as Connor’s face dropped, jaw slack, a horrified expression on his features. His LED turned red briefly before spinning a rapid yellow.

Feeling just that little bit bad you made big, sad eyes at him. He was such an easy mark still.  
“W… What? No! I… No! That’s not what I… No!”  
Connor spluttered.  
He rarely did and only when he was really caught off guard with something bad. Nothing could phase the usually so composed and calm detective. Except you apparently.  
The corner of your mouth twitched and you saw realisation dawning on him that you had just pulled his leg again.  
“You! Are a very mean person”, he chided and jabbed a finger at you playfully.  
With a shrug you took a step towards him and leaned into his side, smiling into his chest.  
“I’m sorry, Con. It was just too tempting not to.”  
“Yeah, yeah. The best boyfriend around is always the center of your shenanigans…”, he sighed, still smirking and kissed your hair.

“Aww, poor baby”, you chuckled, “I’ll make it up to you.”  
“You better! Damn, what did I ever do to you”, he was laughing by now.  
“Oh, sweetie. What didn’t you do to me would be the better question.”  
Connor put a strand of hair behind your ear, regarding you fondly for a second.  
“Come on, mean girl, let’s get you some new kicks. And then you behave, got it?”  
All too happily complying, despite your new nickname, you started walking again and could already see the storefront from where you stood.  
“My shenanigans”, you still chuckled at that.

Shortly before you arrived at your destination, you passed a group of five people, that had been deep in some kind of argument over something, laughing and guffawing.  
A green eyed man, probably just barely into his forties, with a little more than a three-day stubble, sturdily built, looked up from where he was talking to the ash-blonde woman. His gaze fell to your and Connor’s joined hands and he let out a mocking wolf whistle.

“Oh ho, look at that! We got another one of those pervs who’d rather suck on plastic and metal than a real dick”, that man jeered and the group burst into mean laughters.  
“Nah Rob, look at that twink’s face. That one probably even hasn’t a dick on him…”, another man, who was a little on the short and stout side, chimed in.  
You unconsciously widened you eyes in annoyance and exhaled deeply. The last encounter of that kind at the fair was still all too present in your head. Your heart started to beat faster. Please, not again.

Connor squeezed your hand a little tighter and whispered a short but concerned “don’t stop, let’s just go” down at you as he turned around to briefly glance at the group to assess the chances of friendly confrontation. He did not need any fancy programs to know it was lower than low. The way they held themselves spoke volumes, they were looking for trouble. The serious kind.

You nodded barely visible and did exactly that, holding on to Connor’s hand.  
“And too haughty to look at their own kind too, huh? HEY MISSY”, that man shouted now, clearly enraged.  
There was a bit of mumbling as you two hurriedly walked away from the scene.  
“It’s okay, love. Just keep walking”, Connor whispered reassuringly.  
It did not in any way reassure you.

“Get back where you came from, you stupid fucking piece of metal”, the angry man bellowed and just a second later a to-go cup of coffee was thrown after you, the hot liquid barely missing it’s target, spilling all over the ground.  
“It’s going to be okay”, Connor told you but you could read him pretty well by now. His LED, yellow once more, was spinning fast again. Faster than when you pranked him just minutes ago.  
Also the way he said those words gave him away. He was worried. It was not going to be okay.  
Still you nodded.  
And then you heard it, the many pairs of footsteps on pavement. They were following, swearing and provoking you.

By now your heart was almost painfully thumping in your ribcage. No, no, no.  
What was their problem? Why did anyone think it was okay to get mixed up in somebody else’s life like that? You had always gone by the ‘live and let live’ philosophy. Why could they not leave you in peace? And not one of the passersby seemed to take interest in your situation. Not that there were many, it was shortly after noon in the middle of the week after all.  
On a saturday the streets would have probably been more filled.

Connor walked faster, dragging you along. You could not even begin to match his big strides but you did your best to keep up. He threw a concerned look over his shoulder at your pursuers.  
You saw it in his eyes. He calculated a way out of this but did not seem to find it.  
“Shit”, he cursed softly as to not alarm you but you heard it. And it sent shivers down your spine.

“Hey dipshit! Where do you think you’re going, huh”, the man who started this hassle called out again to Connor.  
“Come on, girlie! We just wanna talk. Is that so bad?”  
You swallowed hard, worry making your knees go just that bit weaker. Why would they not let up?

“HEY! Is she mute or something? Did you force yourself on her like that and now she can’t tell you to back off? Disgusting pig!”  
“Connor”, you whispered, voice shaky, not able to finish that sentence but he got your message.  
“I know, love. I know. Don’t worry.”  
His voice was warm as always but he could not hide the fact that he was just as concerned as you.  
Holding on tight Connor crossed the street with you in tow, barely avoiding a car but gaining a little distance between this angry mob and yourself.  
They still stood at the other side of the road when you dared to glance back. Oh, they looked furious.  
“I know a shortcut. Let’s go.“

You ducked into the next alley, Connor still tugging at your hand. You were panting by now. It was not that you were totally unathletic, you would say you were about average (though with Connor you had regular workout between the sheets, those counted too in your eyes). But the panic rising up from the pit of your stomach right now was quickly spreading through your whole body, making it hard to breathe or move properly. You concentrated on sucking deep breaths in and out. In and out.

Connor’s frantic voice pulled you out of those thoughts quickly and you came to a halt between the two walls of the surrounding buildings.  
“No no no! This can’t be!”  
Connor let go of your hand and you took that chance to brace your hands on your thighs, slowing down your shallow breaths. You looked up to follow his stare to the door of that wire mesh fence ahead of you.  
It was blocked by a dumpster from the other side.  
Oh no.

Connor turned around, features tense.  
“We should’ve gotten through here! I… It shouldn’t have been there. Shit.”  
He searched your face.  
“I’m so sorry. I…”  
“It’s not your fault”, you told him and his eyes softened somewhat at that before his jaw went completely slack, eyes wide in what you made out to be terror.  
“Oh, for fuck’s sake…”, Connor mumbled and you felt as if someone had poured ice water over you, the cold seeping into your skin, through your muscles to settle into your bones. What was… No!

“Rob! It’s here”, the stout man from earlier called out to his friend, who laughed and clapped his hands gleefully. His other friends chimed in not shortly after.  
“You didn’t really think you’d get rid of us, huh? Fuckin’ piece of shit…”  
Then you heard them closing in on you in that one-way street.

“Get me behind me, love”, Connor pulled you up and behind his back, worry evident in every syllable, keeping a hold of your forearm.  
“Con… I’m… I’m gonna call Hank”, you suggested.  
“There’s hardly time. I’ll send him a quick message.”  
The still golden light on his temple flickered a few times as he intently watched the group approaching you.

“What do you want”, Connor asked the group firmly, having regained a bit of his composure.  
“Oh. Interesting question. What. Do. I. Want”, Rob with the piercing green eyes apparently loved to start this conversations like some James-Bond-supervillain.

“You’re not the first one to ask me that, you know? But I’ll tell it again. So you understand.”  
He gave a toothy smile that was everythinflg but friendly. First of all, I want to see you and all of your plastic asses getting what you deserve. Which is to be thrown on the trash dump and be set on fire or fed to the trash compactor”, he grinned maliciously, eyes going dark.  
“But since your robo-messiah is traveling around the world wining and dining with the top nobs and crawling up their asses that far without shame, bribing them to pass those inane laws to make you equal to us… Well, since that day we sadly can’t do that anymore without getting into trouble.”

You sucked in a sharp breath and Connor briefly threw a glance over his shoulder to make sure you were okay.  
You’ve never encountered someone like that, so set on violence, eyes as cold as stone and ready to act out on all the gruesome things he promised. You heard about those incidents of course, about androids getting burned in the streets and the city had to reroute traffic. Or causing malfunctions in machines they were thrown into and so that a company had to close down for the day.  
It had always been about what inconveniences this had cause to humans when an android was destroyed that way. Thinking about this now made you sick to the stomach.

They were coming closer now, blocking the only way in and out of that alley. Their leader stopped a few steps away from you two. You peeked around Connor and saw that dangerous glint in the man’s eyes. So full of hate. Your grip on Connor’s arm tightened impossibly, your cheek pressed into his back.  
“Let me rephrase that question. What do you plan on doing here? You see, I am a detective with the DPD and…”, Connor was yet interrupted before he could even start to calm that man down.

“Is that so? A detective huh? Like solving crimes like a real person?”  
The man stepped even closer, getting in Connor’s personal space and face.  
You felt your boyfriend tensing up but standing there proud, looking this scumbag in the eye without fear. You were on the verge of trembling, very much aware of the rush of blood through your veins.  
“Or are you merely their plaything? Hm? A toy to be used for their fun? I know for a fact that some of those guys really like a face like yours best on its knees before them in the bathroom stall. Ain’t that right?”  
The man looked back to his friends for approval and they backed him up, grunting and laughing their consent. Of course.

Connor remained still, letting the man rant on and take out his frustration verbally. Maybe, just maybe that would be all. Damn, how could Connor be so calm right now?  
You bit your lip and a hitched breath left your lips involuntarily which drew the man’s attention to you.  
“Aww, would you look at that. You snatched yourself a human, for real? What did you promise her, hm? Or did you threaten her? I mean, she’s not bad looking… A girl like her could certainly find herself someone of her own kind. Why settle with something like you? What’s your leverage on her?”  
That man eyed him curiously, raising an eyebrow as Connor again remained silent, letting the insults roll off his shoulders.

“Not very talkative are you? Well, maybe she’s just as sick in the head as everybody else these days. Thinking just because you look like us, dress like us, that you ARE like us. We humans made you! Invented you! And were too stupid to see that you’d get greedy some day, taking everything from us. Our jobs, our property, hell and seemingly even our women now!”  
Rob all but spat into Connor’s face as he got more and more enraged.  
“I think it’s about time that changed. It’s about time for things to get back to the way they were before all that mess you created.”  
“Don’t you dare”, Connor gritted out furiously through clenched teeth as the man reached out to touch your cheek with his dirty paw and tightened his hand on your forearm, pushing you behind his back even more.  
The man huffed and stopped midway.  
“Possessive aren’t you? Don’t like to share? Calm down, I’m not looking for that”, he nodded in your general direction with a smug smile and a wave of relief washed over you. Though you were still tied up in knots to say the least, fearing the worst.

“You won’t know what hit you if you try something funny like that again”, Connor promised darkly and stood even taller if that was even possible at all.  
Where was Hank with the backup?

“Are you threatening me, you ungrateful little shit?”  
The man looked down briefly, putting his hands in his coat pockets and grinned back at his friends.  
“Can you believe that? Fuckin’ android”, he laughed incredulously.  
Then the four slowly started to inch closer to you, sneering and grinning ferally.  
“I’ll teach you a lesson, asshole!”

Connor of course had anticipated, preconstructed, the scene unfolding now, catching the wrist that was aimed for his face as he pushed you behind him and out of harm’s way. Or so he thought.  
You were caught off guard by his sudden movement, stumbled and fell to the ground but it did not matter. Two pairs of hands picked you up quickly again. The woman and an another filthy man with the eyes of a weasel held you steady before the man took you in a non-choking chokehold. You grunted, thrashed and kicked but to no avail.  
Alarmed by the sounds you made Connor turned around, eyes wide.  
“(Y/N)…”

Monologue-man came up behind Connor and brought a brass-knuckled fist up to collide with Connor’s cheek, making him tumble to the ground with a moan.  
“Connor! NO!!”  
You shouted and whimpered his name over and over as Connor stayed down for a second, on his hands and knees, startled by the impact he had not seen coming as a series of kicks landed in the general area of his stomach.  
He curled in on himself, shielding his body as he grabbed for the man’s leg to yank on.  
That way he missed another important thing.  
The other two men had come to help their friend. He was pulled up roughly by the collar of his open plaid shirt, his arms fixated by each one of those men holding onto him tightly.

With a grunt Connor’s back collided with the brick wall, eyes falling close for a second as his attacker approached him again.  
“So, you wanna tell me you’re a detective… As far as I’m concerned I think you’ve never even seen a brawl up close! Investigate this. Detective!“  
With that last word sounding like the biggest insult known to mankind the brass-knuckles collided again with his jaw. Connor’s head turn violently to the side before lolling forward again. A small trail of blue blood trickling out of his left nostril and down over his lips and chin.

“Connor! Defend yourself goddamnit”, you shrieked, hot tears streaming down your cheeks blurring your vision as you struggled against the man holding you captive, slapping those big forearms around your neck. Connor moaned and groaned with every blow he received, every one of those miserable, broken sounds a stab to your heart.

He looked at you with a somber expression from under his lashes and you knew he would not even begin to put up a fight. Since the last incident, that had nearly cost him his job, Connor had sworn to never let himself get carried away like that again, beating people to a pulp. This reminded him too much of what he once had been. Just a machine. Designed to accomplish a task.  
But he couldn’t possibly just take every blow without punching back now could he?

“Look away, love. Close your eyes”, Connor croaked out quietly. You had heard him but you could not do what he asked of you. You needed to help him!  
Where the hell was Hank?!  
“Please! Connor!! Please”, you pleaded, trying to twist out of that goon’s grip once again but it was useless. Blow after blow hit Connor’s face, stomach, chest, repeat. And there was nothing you could do.

Rob had his fun with him, laughing and mocking and using him as a punching bag while his buddies rendered Connor immobile with an iron grip.  
"See? This is what you get for fucking with us! Useless prick!”  
The skin on Connor’s cheek was already glitching and retracting in varying blotches, revealing the white chassis underneath as his head hung low, a few strands of hair covering his forehead. You thought you saw Connor closing his eyes before looking at you once again through tired, sad and beaten eyes. You swore he mouthed your name as fist after fist collided with his body.  
Your stomach turned and your whole world seemed to come tumbling down in that moment. Suddenly it was hard to breathe.

His legs gave out next.  
A steady flow of thirium trickled onto his shirt and to the floor in what you guessed was an unhealthy amount but this madman would not stop his assault on Connor’s almost limp body probably feeling like Rocky Balboa himself.  
Every punch ripping through Connor, looking so lifeless now.

Rob stopped his frenzy after a few more seconds, wiping his sweaty forehead with a satisfied and proud “whew!”  
“What a bummer. He’s done for already. But damn did that feel good”, he cackled while retreating.

Sirens blared in the distance.  
Thank god.  
Hank.  
Too late, you thought, eyes trained on Connor this whole time.

“Let’s get moving. I’m done with this one”, the coward of a man said and the others let go of Connor’s arms.  
He hit the ground with a for your ears deafening thud, slumped up against the wall and staying perfectly still almost as if he was…  
No.

The grip on your windpipe loosened and you were send to the trash littered ground, catching yourself on your hands as the group made their exit before the police arrived. Your lips were trembling, eyes prickling, throat hurting from all the crying and screaming but you crawled over to Connor, weeping.  
“Baby… please, no”, you mumbled over and over again, interrupted by hiccups racking your whole body until you reached him, sitting up before him.  
His head hung to the side, his features looked soft, relaxed though being thirium smeared, LED blinking bright red. You cradled his damaged face, ran a hand over his arm and upper body, stroking his cheek in what was supposed to be a comforting gesture. He was so damn cold.  
“Connor, please…”, you whimpered as new tears welled up, streaming down your face.

You heard a car door closing and a booming voice screaming “over here!” as you clung to his motionless body, sobbing into Connor’s neck, pleading him to just open his eyes.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You’re dealing with the cruel events of the day. Hank makes sure you’re fine. Will you be fine after what you have just seen? But the biggest question still stands. What happened to Connor?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this makes up for the previous chapter of total heartbreak. It will get better. It always does.
> 
> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

You sat in the ambulance while the paramedics checked your vitals, giving you something to stabilize you and calm your nerves. Which is why you had to stay under observation for a while. You did not need observation. You needed to make sure your boyfriend was okay. Oh god.  
Those images.Those images of Connor getting brutally beaten flickered before your eyes everytime you closed them.  
How he did not even try to put up a fight against those three men tormenting him. How he looked at you with such sorriness and guilt. As if he deserved every blow that hit his body. He did not deserve any of this. Not him.  
The blue blood on his face and shirt. His slumped shoulders as he sagged to the ground like a rag doll. How he looked so much more dead than alive.  
You avoided closing your eyes as much as you could.

Hank had dragged you away from Connor’s limp body earlier, setting you down into the ambulance himself to get looked over as the technicians arrived to check on Connor.  
“Hank! Let me please… I need to be there. I need to be with him”, you whimpered weakly, trying to get up and out of the van again.

You needed to know he was okay. You needed to be by his side. Why did he not understand?  
Hank soothed a hand over your head, looking out to the alley nervously himself as he pushed you back onto the gurney.  
“You stay right here, (Y/N)! Let these nice guys check on you and then we’ll see about that.”  
He did not sound too convinced himself but maybe it was just you.

“Please! I… Hank. He… They did…”, new tears welled up as one of the medics took your pulse and blood pressure before injecting something into the crook of your arm and leaving for a while. Your eyelids felt kinda heavy.  
“Shh. We’ll talk about all of that later. You make sure you’re gonna be okay, got it? You can’t help him anyway, kiddo. Not like this. Let the specialists do their work and…”

“Lieutenant”, a younger black male came to the opened door of the ambulance, “they’re moving him now. He’s banged up bad and they’re not sure if they’re able to-”  
“Thank you ChrisI I got it from here!”, Hank interrupted gruffly and shot that man a look that silenced him instantly. With an inconspicuous nod in your direction, realization dawned on Chris’ face, making him gape shortly.

Oh no. Connor!  
You sniffed again and Hank laid his arm around you, pulling you into his chest for comfort.

“Yes, Lieutenant. We’ll secure the crime scene after that, pick up all the evidence and get the material from the surrounding cameras…”  
“Yeah, yeah, you do that Chris. I want their asses in the precinct yesterday”, Hank growled.  
Chris nodded and shouted something to his colleagues about getting to work before he left.

“Hank…”, you tore up again, voice breaking as you slumped forward into the mountain of a man, who was still on one knee before you, “is he going to be okay? Promise me he’ll be okay.”  
With a shake of his head and a pause that was too big for comfort Hank finally answered.

“Listen, little one. He’ll pull through. Probably busted a fuse or something but he’s as strong and stubborn as he’s goofy. Boy’s got more luck than anyone I know.”  
You sighed, craning your neck to get a better view around Hank as you heard noises outside on the street and few voices talking loudly.  
Good god, what had they injected you with that made so drowsy all of a sudden?

“He’ll be okay. He’ll annoy the hell out of us again before we know it.”  
Hank smiled weakly at you, rubbing your upper arm and the sides of your mouth twitched up the slightest bit.  
“He’s not”, you answered quietly, looking at your feet.  
“What?”  
“Annoying.”

Hank let out a huff that turned into a chuckle.  
“Yeah, not to you maybe. I bet he’s a real fucking ray of sunshine, huh? Just work with him for a day and you’ll know what I’m talking about.”

Heavy silence fell over you then and you saw two grey-clad men with a stretcher rushing to the alley.  
“I don’t know what I would do if he…”, you admitted after a while, looking up at Hank with sad eyes, not able to finish that sentence out of fear it would make it true.  
“Don’t! Don’t even think of going to that dark place”, Hank soothed.  
He knew about loss, he did not wish for you to even imagine it.

The ambulance shook a little and one of the paramedics was back.  
“Are you feeling tired yet, miss?”  
You looked up at the man in the uniform and hummed in agreement, nodding slowly.  
“You should lie down then. We’ll get you to the hospital and make sure-”  
“I don’t wanna go there”, you whined, “Hank tell them I’m coming with you.”  
“Like hell you are. You do as the man says and let yourself get taken care of.”

Something was going on outside, Hank turned around and the men with the stretcher came back. Connor was on there. Or you guessed he was. You could not see too much with Hank blocking your view.  
That Chris-guy came up to the ambulance again.  
“Lieutenant? They’re moving him now. They’ll bring him to the station and into the repair center…”  
“Thanks Christ, I’ll be right there.”

Hank turned around to you.  
“Listen, I wanna be there when they arrive, make sure he’ll be looked after properly. So you be good, alright? Let them do whatever they think is necessary. After that you can come visit. Connor would want you to be okay. I’ll never hear the end of it if something happened to you while you were under my watch. Got it?”  
Hank’s voice was gruff as usual but the good kind. You had grown on him and you liked him too. You knew why Connor looked up to him so much now.

“Got it…”  
“Promise?”  
“Yeeheees”, you answered snottily.  
Part of it was your patience running thin about not being able to decide for yourself now. And the other part the worry for your boyfriend. Also the meds might have played another part in it too, you felt a bit lighter than usual. Huh.  
With a last pat on your shoulder Hank got out of the ambulance just as the doors of the tech van, that looked too much like an ambulance than you were comfortable with, closed loudly and it took off with blaring alarms.

“Good luck with that one”, Hank grinned at the paramedics, looking pointedly at you but you were too tired and emotionally exhausted to stick your tongue out at him. You scooted up on the gurney instead and laid down as promised. You had to be okay in case Connor needed you.  
Hank’s car followed that tech van suit.

You felt bad for staying here but Hank was right. Connor would want you to take care of yourself. And Hank was with him. In the state you were in you would probably do more damage than actual good right now.  
You prayed to all known and unknown deities for Connor to make it through. That red LED still sent shivers down your spine. Blinking slow and steady as if he had been powering down. No, he did not. He could not!  
You wanted to see that smile again. That perfect heart-melting smile. Oh, how selfish of you to want that.

You closed your eyes and felt someone securing the strap over your waist. Damn, those meds really made you sleepy as all hell.  
Hearing the engine come to life and feeling the vehicle starting to move you fell asleep before you even rounded the first corner.

***

The medics had finally succumbed to your pleading and assuring that you were fine and needed elsewhere. So it was around 7pm when you got out of the taxi and finally stood in front of the DPD.  
Funny, you had never once been here to visit Connor before.  
You did not think the first time you came by would be under these circumstances. That was something neither of you could have known. Not even Connor and his fancy top-notch software.

Your heart pounded in your chest. You had not heard from Hank yet, neither good nor bad. If this was a good sign or not you were not sure.  
The building loomed over you, like a menacing beast of concrete that held your loved one captive. Only those in love were a combination of brave and stupid enough to face a creature like that. So you decided to enter.

You stepped into the big and clean entry hall, that was buzzing with people in the waiting area and scattered all around, grumbling, muttering and cursing. You cast them a glance and went straight to the reception. Damn it was busy in here.  
The blonde woman behind the counter greeted you with a smile.

“Hello, how can I help you miss?”  
“Hi. I… I’m looking for Lieutenant Anderson. Is he… is he here”, you asked with a lump in your throat.  
“He is, yes. Do you have an appointment?”  
Your breathing hitched.  
“No… no I don’t. My… boyfriend was brought in earlier, he was attacked on the street and brought here for… for repairs.”

You hated yourself for stumbling over your words like that but the meds seemed to have worn off completely, making you jittery and jumpy all over again. You would not be able to rest until you at least had seen Connor. No matter in what state, your anxious brain added.

“Oh! I’m sorry. Yes of course. The lieutenant said something about his daughter-in-law coming over. You can go right in, I think he is with the Captain right now but feel free to wait for him at his desk.”

“Thanks”, was all you brought out and went over to the turnstile. Daughter-in-law? You had to smile. Did Hank know something you did not? Or was this just because ‘relatives’ were let through without having to go through the whole bureaucratic process?

The bullpen was not less crowded. In fact it was even more chaotic. People running around nervously, standing around, blocking the path, sharing information or just talking. Telephones were ringing and voices were shouting. The glass cubicle at the end of the room was dark and empty. You supposed this was the Captain’s office. So Hank was not there with him. Hm.

You stood awkwardly to the side. How were you supposed to find his desk in that turmoil? You should have asked where it was. Damnit. You looked around helplessly some more to maybe spot him. He was not that tiny…

“Anything I can help you with, gorgeous?”  
You nearly jumped on the spot when you heard a voice beside you, addressing you.  
A guy in a brown leather jacket with a scar on his nose and a hand on his badge eyed you curiously, smiling smugly.  
“Ehm, yes. I’m… I’m looking for Lieutenant Anderson’s desk. Can you tell me where it is?”

The guy huffed.  
“You sure you’re looking for the old man”, he asked a little too suggestively for your liking, “he’s busy. Had an emergency today with a fellow detective. I wouldn’t disturb him now if I were you.”  
The man crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yes, I know. I… I’m looking for my boyfriend actually. The lieutenant brought him in earlier-”  
“Well if he brought him in, he’s sure as hell still in the holding cells. Since around noon shit has hit the fan here and it was all hands on deck for that case. Everything else had been put on hold. You saw how crowded it was outside right?”

He did not even let you finish your sentence, you decided you did not like him..  
You shook your head.  
“No. Not… not like this. He brought him in for repairs. He’s a detective working with him. Connor”, you clarified and saw that man’s jaw drop, together with his arms, eyes going wide. Mouth a perfect ‘o’-shape of surprise.  
“Shiiiiit. You’re tin can’s girl? Well fuck me sideways”, he laughed nervously as he looked you up and down.  
You had an inkling you knew who that was now. You knew now you did not like him.

He was about to open his mouth again when you heard Hank’s voice from somewhere in front of you.  
“Hey! (Y/N), over here!”  
Oh thank goodness.

“Hank!”  
You left that detective standing there, looking dumbfounded and still trying to wrap his head around what you told him, running over to Hank who caught both your forearms as you almost barrelled into him.  
“Whoa, easy there! You alright, kiddo? They let you out early…”  
He looked grim, exhausted and beat. You did not dare to think why that might be.

“Oh my god, Hank! Where is he? Please! I need to… I need to see him! Is he…?”  
Your lip trembled, voice shaking as you babbled.  
“Shh. You come down now or I will not let you through”, Hank rebuked you and felt instantly sorry for sounding a little harsher than he meant to with your eyes wide like that.

“So, you promise me to stay calm?”  
You nodded eagerly.  
“Then follow me.”

Hank led the way and people automatically cleared their way. Hank seemed to have that kind of authority around here. If that was because of his rank or the look on his face seemed debatable.  
He was leading you to a group of desks and suddenly you realized what you were seeing.

A tall figure with tousled chocolate brown hair, wearing that red and blue plaid shirt from earlier, was sitting at one of those desks, looking small and lost.  
Connor!  
Cradling a bottle of blue liquid in his lap, fixing a spot on the floor, a crestfallen expression on his features. Like a little school boy that was waiting to be picked up by his parents after a tussle. But he was very much alive.  
Oh god! He was okay!

Tears welled up in your eyes and you could not even bring yourself to try and stop them as you picked up your pace, trying to run past Hank.

“CONNOR”, you called out to him with a shaky voice but he perked up nevertheless, getting up out of his seat as he put the thirium away, a smile forming on his face.  
“(Y/N)!”  
He moved around his desk to meet you just in time as you came to stand before him, needing a second to look him over before you closed the distance and he enfolded you in his arms with a happily whispered “hey”.

You let yourself sob into his chest as your arms tightened around his middle, pulling yourself closer to him. Not caring about the thirium stains on his white t-shirt. Not caring about how you stupid you must have looked, bawling your eyes out like you did. Not caring about anything but Connor being here, safe and sound.

He ran soothing hands up and down your back, whispering reassuringly into you hair, kissing the top of your head, your forehead, your temple.  
“It’s okay, love. It’s all going to be okay. I’m here. I’m here now. Shhh.”  
He rocked you slightly and you absorbed every syllable he said, clawing at his back, bunching up the material of his clothes.

“C… Con. I… I was so… so scared for you. I…”, you hiccuped and sniveled.  
You wanted to say so much but no words would come out anymore.  
“I know, love. I know. Come on, it’s alright. No more tears now, hm?”  
You wanted to smile at his sweet consolation but another series of sobs came out instead, soaking his shirt even more.

He put a hand on the nape of your neck, cradling the back of your head, thumb running back and forth.  
“S’okay. It’s all okay now, love. It’s over.”

You looked up at him through red and puffy eyes. The skin on his cheek seemed to have repaired itself for it was not shifting around anymore, the white chassis no longer visible. No more reminders of his bloodied nose, no cuts, no bruises. One of the perks of being an android. He looked neat as a pin after having been beaten nearly to death.  
And he was still smiling, dimples showing.

You leaned up as he leaned down and your lips met in a soft, tentative and sweet kiss. Earlier today you had thought that you might never get to kiss him like that again. It had been a fleeting thought but it had broken your heart into a million tiny pieces.

“How are you, love? Hank told me you were brought to the hospital…”, he asked after a while, worry clouding his face as a hand caressed your cheek.  
“I was just… panicking. They gave me something to calm my nerves and wanted me under observation. It was nothing. But you! How about you? I nearly had a heart attack, Connor. I thought… I thought you were…”  
“It takes more than a beating to bring me down”, he said with that smile again, but his eyes betrayed him, his grip around you tightened.

“The repeated impacts caused some minor damage to my inner workings and as a precaution they installed a new processing unit. The technicians will run diagnostics again and then I’m good to go.”  
“Repeated impacts? Connor, how can you be so clinical about it? They beat you to a pulp and you almost shut down!”  
“My system did this to prevent me from overheating. I wasn’t shutting down.”  
“Well, it sure looked to me like you were”, you told him.  
“I’m sorry, love. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to put you through something like this.”

He sounded genuinely sorry but that did not help you at all.  
You slapped his chest lightly, wanting to be angry but you how could you be? He could not have known it was going to go down like that. He could guess to a certain amount of certainty but there never was a guarantee.

“Oh, Con…”  
“I… calculated the best possible outcome for that encounter…”  
“And this was the best you could come up with”, you were incredulous.  
“Yes.”

You exhaled loudly, resting your cheek on his chest.  
“They could’ve seriously hurt you. This could have ended so very differently. You’re not unbreakable, Connor.”  
“And not exchangeable anymore either”, Hank butted in suddenly, tilting of his head.  
“I know”, came Connor’s quiet answer, “I will be more careful next time.”  
“There will be no next time. Promise me that there won’t be a next time. I don’t want you to go through this again. And… I don’t want it for me either.”

Connor’s lack of response was a quite clear response in itself.  
Of course he could not promise you that. His job was dangerous enough. There would always be people who would hate on androids and attack them. Hell, humans ttacked anything that was not to their liking. It was just the way the world worked.

“So, is everything alright you two”, Hank asked, sitting down at his own desk opposite of Connor’s, sipping out of his mug of lukewarm coffee with a slight frown.  
“Yes. Yeah, it will be”, Connor answered for the both of you, still holding on tightly.

You stood there for a while, absorbed in each other before a technician came up behind you and asked Connor to sit down for the final test run.  
“The processor should be fully integrated now. I’ll hook you up to the system and run another diagnostic to ensure everything runs smoothly. I promise, it’s the last one”, the young, dark haired man smiled.

Connor did as he was told and sat down at his desk. He peeled the skin on his left wrist back and with a little pressure to the right spot, a small panel opened, revealing a port. You had never seen this one before.  
You stood beside him, but Connor saw your curious face, smiling.  
“It’s an output for basic data. It’s kind of like showing your ID”, he explained and you nodded, feeling like the single most stupid human for not knowing that.

Connor watched as the technician connected him via cable to a tablet and almost instantly code ran all over the screen.  
You scrunched up your face even more now. God, that was so much data.  
“Is that…”, you started and Connor was grinning at you again.  
“Yes. That’s me. Unfiltered.”

You stood there, eyes fixed to the tablet, mouth slightly open as you tried to make out words or something that seemed familiar but it was futile. You had next to no knowledge when it came to programming. But you marvelled at how symbolic this moment was. Seeing what Connor was made of. It was surreal to the max.

“Come on, sit. It might take a while”, Connor pulled you out of your thoughts and into his lap so you straddled him.  
You gladly settled down, not caring how it might look. You had almost lost him today, nobody was going to tell you how to hug your man.  
You snaked an arm around his neck, head on his shoulder as he held you steady around the waist and you took to running your hand through his hair. He hummed quietly against your temple.

For a while you watched the tablet together, enjoying just being close. God, how you would have missed this man. You knew you really should stop thinking about the what if’s of today but this incident had made it clear for you just how dangerous it was for Connor out there. You always knew this in the back of your head but people seemed to repress those kinds of thoughts until they got real. You were no different.  
As if he had sensed the dark turn your thoughts had gone again, he kissed your cheek.

“I love you”, Connor mumbled.  
“Love you too”, you answered and ignored Hank’s groaning.  
“Disgusting”, Hank remarked with a grin, “get a room.”

Connor smiled at that but did not comment on it. He was too busy rubbing small circles into your waist.

A few minutes later that brash detective from earlier came up to Connor’s desk with a serious face, leaning on both hands on the table top.  
“Any news, Gavin”, Hank asked, sitting up.  
“We checked the names Connor gave us. Seems they’ve been around for a bit, getting their noses dirty. Getting themselves caught at demonstrations, damaging property and the like. Not good folks you’ve made friends with today.”  
Connor hummed in agreement.  
“Hm. Sounds like them.”

“We just got word about their whereabouts. We’ll head out and bring them in one by one now. No one fucks with one of ours”, Gavin stood up straight.  
Connor eyed him with a look somewhere between puzzlement and appreciation.  
He came around to put a hand on Connor’s shoulder, gripping tightly.  
“If anyone is gonna roughen you up like this, it’s me, tin can.”  
Gavin winked and clicked his tongue before he made to leave.

He was a few feet away and turned around once again. Pointing at you, he called out to Connor.  
“Nice catch!”  
Then he disappeared and so did another few officers and detectives. Apparently it was true that the whole precinct was involved when one of their own got hurt.

Connor smiled proudly and tightened his arm around you, letting his head fall onto your shoulder, watching after his colleagues. You knew he was dying to accompany them. But for now he had to stay put.  
“I know”, he whispered so softly you could have missed it. But you did not. And it made you smile like an idiot.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor’s got the green light from the tech guys and you can finally go home after a long day neither of you will forget any time soon. But no matter how tired you are, sleep just won’t find you.
> 
> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry it took me so long to finish this chapter. But other WIP’s (and believe me, there are some) keep me occupied too right now. Don’t worry, I’ll never abandon this fic, I love it too much but the gaps between posting chapters might get a bit bigger. Thank you for staying with me anyway! I love you all so much. 😭💙

You had waited for the test run of Connor’s new component to finish and for the techs to give him the go that everything was okay. At least with his body.  
How this day had affected him mentally you could not say yet for he evaded every question with a shrug and smile, claiming he was fine, putting on a strongman act for you.

But you knew he was too sensitive for that to be true. Everyone with half a brain cell would be struggling after a day like that. And Connor, being so damn insecure about everything and anything, took things like that to heart. Or pump in that case. He may have fooled his superiors but he could not fool you.

Hank had sent you both home shortly after he was unhooked from the tablet though Connor had insisted to stay until the team came back, wanting to be part of the interrogation. But neither Hank nor Fowler had approved of that, for Connor was too involved, to personally affected by it. Maybe not trusting him to not get his personal revenge on them or out of concern that it would make matters worse for him and dealing with the situation.

“You take your girl home now and forget about this day for a while, will ya”, Hank had said and laid a hand on Connor’s shoulder.  
You were still clinging to his waist with both arms, burying your face in his chest, not daring to let go. Maybe unconsciously making sure he was really safe and sound by listening to the whirring inside of him. He put an arm around your shoulders.

“Hank, I… I need to be here when they bring them in. We haven’t even given our statements yet”, Connor protested weakly, rubbing your upper arm, pulling you closer to him.  
“And you won’t be doing that today.”  
Hank’s answer left no room for discussion. Not that you had it in you after this day. Connor did want to talk back but chose to just exhale, feeling powerless and dropping the subject most likely on your behalf. You were grateful for that.

After arriving at the precinct, seeing for yourself that Connor was indeed fine your body had been drained of all the energy produced by anxiety and adrenaline from the hours before. If someone rolled a bed in here inviting you to lay down and nap right now you would have not said no.

Connor clenched his jaw, eyes darting around nervously.  
“I get it, son. I really do. But you should go home. I know you fancy androids don’t get tired and such but it’s been a fuckin’ rollercoaster for (Y/N) today too”, Hank nodded in your direction as if to prove a point, “and not the fun kind that makes you wanna go another round but the kind that makes you wanna puke your insides out.”

“‘M good”, you mumbled tiredly into Connor’s shirt, scrunching up your face a bit at Hank’s very graphic description of today. He was right though.

Hank scoffed, curling up his lips into a slight smile.  
“Just as stubborn as you, Connor. You’re a bad influence.“  
Connor did not pick up on that.

“I just want to be helpful and I could-”  
“No, Connor. No, you can’t do anything. You can leave now and not come back tomorrow either-”  
“But I-”  
Hank silenced him with a held up hand and all his objections died in Connor’s throat.

“You do not come back tomorrow either and rest up. We’ll handle it. We handled stuff since before you were even a twinkle in your designer’s eye. Now take a taxi and go home, son.”  
“He’s right Connor. We should head home. They’ve got everything under control, your colleagues know what they’re doing.”

You lifted your head to peek up at him through heavy-lidded eyes and were met with a pair of conflicted caramel brown orbs. Connor bit his lip and you could only guess that he was scanning you to assess the state you were in. After a second he sighed, letting out a quiet “okay”.  
Humming in agreement you put your cheek on his chest again. You could not wait for this day to end.

“See? She’s the smart one out of you two. Hell, why’d you never listen to me like that”, Hank mock-grouched.

***

The ride home had been strange, a heavy silence that neither of you had dared to disturb thickening the air.  
You needed to talk. You knew it. Connor knew it.  
Why was it that you always had awkward, tacit taxi rides after a difficult day?

You both sat in the back of the taxi, further apart than you needed to. Connor, slouching to your left, staring blankly out the window, cheek pressed against his hand for support while you let your head drop against the headrest, blinking tiredly. And quite frankly, you had not been awake for the entirety of the ride. But you felt Connor clasp your hand the whole time, covering your smaller hand in his, rubbing his thumb over the side of your hand.

Stepping through the door around 11:30pm you were exhausted beyond belief.  
Connor insisted you eat or at least drink something before going to bed since you clearly did not have anything after the ice cream earlier (oh damn his scanners) and he persuaded you into downing half a bottle of water. You did not have it in you to do more than that or even protest as you leaned on the kitchen counter next to him.

You tiptoed around the topic of today, not talking much at all. Changing into your sleep wear in deafening silence you sat on either side of your bed. Rubbing a hand over your face to stifle yet another yawn you felt the bed rock and dip. When you turned around Connor had already made himself comfortable under the covers, laying on his side facing yours and holding out his arm for you in a silent plea to come and cuddle.  
His gloomy gaze spoke volumes.

Almost instinctively you scooted up and laid your head on his bicep, faces so lose you felt his artificial breath ghost over your chapped lips.  
He put his other arm around you, pulling you closer. Your hand came to rest on his sternum, curling in on itself slightly.

“I love you”, he whispered and placed a featherlight kiss on your forehead, nuzzling your face.  
“I love you too”, you answered quietly and Connor reached over you to turn of the light on your bedside table.  
So many words unspoken.

***

As tired as you had been all evening up until you arrived… You were wide awake since you got into bed. Connor’s eyes were closed, chest rising and falling in steady simulated breaths. His LED was blinking a slow and calm blue, indicating he had indeed entered stasis mode a while ago.  
And he had every right to be exhausted that he would power down immediately after laying down. Though he would never admit that.

Sleep just would not come to you, your brain had suddenly kicked into overdrive, replaying the events of today. Every time you closed your eyes you saw Connor, saw him being held against the wall in that alley, the blue blood smearing his face, the way he had accepted his fate without pushing back. You knew he was capable of defending himself, could have probably taken all of them out in the blink of an eye. And yet he chose not to. To not scare you, to not get in trouble again, to accept what he thought he deserved.

You exhaled a shaky breath, blinking the memories away, concentrating on Connor’s face instead that was on one side faintly illuminated by his LED.  
No. He had not deserved this. Not at all. Not him. He had already suffered enough for multiple lifetimes. Had made himself suffer for quite a while.  
Shit, these images would certainly haunt you for the rest of your days. The way his voice got all quiet, the moans and groans slipping from his lips as the man pummeled him with those brass knuckles until Connor slumped to the dirty ground all motionless and utterly broken.

You returned to watching him, very much alive and _here_, regarding his relaxed features. He looked so peaceful, lips moving as little puffs of air left them. With all your power of will you kept from touching his face as to not startle and wake him. He needed to rest.

His arm was still loosely draped over your waist, a familiar weight that gave you comfort, made you feel safe but did not help right now with your mind running wild.  
Turning around enough you peaked at the orange numbers of the digital clock by your bedside.  
2:48am.

You should have been dead tired and asleep now too. And this twisting and turning in bed made you mad for some kind of reason. So after another few minutes of trying to fall asleep you decided to slip out of bed quietly. Maybe to find something to do that would keep you occupied until morning or made you sleepy.

You went into the living room, switching on a table lamp on the sideboard for minimum lighting and stood by the window that faced the street. Eerily empty was the right right word for it. Nothing moved, the light cones of the street lights casting strange shadows onto the street. You crossed your arms over your chest, staring blankly ahead, trying to let you mind wander to a place that would relax you enough to maybe lay back down and finally get some much needed rest.  
Wherever that place of peace was. You stood for a while, concentrated on breathing in and out.

Soft footsteps in the hallway alerted you to the fact that you were not alone anymore and you turned around.  
“Hey", Connor murmured.  
You smiled at him. Just one word, spoken so tenderly, holding so much meaning. Affection and concern, love and worry.

He was leaning on the door frame, watching you with a caring expression.  
“The bed was so cold without you”, he stated with a pouting undertone.  
You snorted.  
“You don‘t feel the cold, Con”, you replied matter-of-factly, but your mouth curled up the slightest bit.  
He mirrored your expression.  
“I can. If I want to.”

You fell silent then, looking away. Tiptoeing again. Avoiding the elephant in the room. Both of you.

“You gotta be tired. What’s keeping you up, love”, Connor asked then, still standing in the doorway.  
He… No. He really needed to ask that? Or maybe he was just trying to coax you out of your shell, get you to talk first because it was easier for him?

Why didn’t he come in already? Why was he keeping his distance from you? You just wanted him to wrap you into his arms and never let go again. Yet he stayed so far where you could not reach him.

“It’s… I’m… my mind is bugging me like crazy right now. And I didn’t wanna wake you so I got up”, you admitted out loud and instantly felt bad for being so selfish, making this about yourself. Connor’s day had been a lot worse than yours and still you were the one complaining about having difficulties to cope with it.  
“But I’ll be fine, Con”, you added as an afterthought.

He answered with only a slight smile, trying to comfort you and finally settled on another question.  
“Do you… wanna talk about it?”  
That question heightened the weight on your shoulders even more. Knowing you had to talk about it but now that it was put on the table you were not so sure you were ready to face the facts anymore.

You thought about that for a short moment.  
“I… I don’t know.”  
He smiled again, a bit more sad this time, fully understanding and set into motion to walk over to you. Finally.  
“Then we won’t.”  
He stopped right before you, angling his head to look down into your eyes.

“Do you”, you asked back, insecure to a maximum level.  
“Not necessarily now, no.”  
Connor puts his hands around you and you uncrossed your arms to snake them around his neck, clinging to each other in a tight embrace. His nose was buried in your hair as he curled his fingers against the thin material of your shirt.

“I think I’ve got an idea”, he whispered as he kissed the top of your head and walked over to your hi fi system.  
He pushed a few buttons before the soft sounds of a piano playing filled the room. [(♫ Go to the song)](https://open.spotify.com/track/6Pg2d0AVVP63OPF6COHll6?si=FnMEoNpZSJeDpWnDLiQ9iQ)

Connor turned around again, a twinkle in his eyes, even visible in the dimly lit room as he smiled at you. When he spoke, his voice was soft and velvety, a sincerity to his words as he held your gaze with a hopeful and tender expression.  
“May I have this dance?”  
He held out his hand, looking at you expectantly, waiting for your reaction.

You smiled back at, shaking your head in wonder and fondness. Oh wow, you really did not deserve this guy.  
“Yes. Yes of course”, you answered and took a few steps to meet him halfway.

Extending your hand to grasp his, he pulled you in, bringing your joined hands up to chest height, putting the other securely on the small of your back, steadying you. It felt as if every inch of you was touching. The heat coming off of Connor now was soothing and so different from how cold his face had felt when you cradled it earlier today and you pleaded your brain for the last time to put those thoughts away now and let yourself enjoy the moment.

Pressing up against him even more, as if you were trying to melt together, he started swaying with you, slow and soft, only taking small steps..  
And that was all you did for the whole length of the song. Connor held you close, his chin resting by your temple, pressing a kiss to it now and then as he moved to the music with you in small circles, fully absorbed in each other. In the middle of the night. In your living room.

It was such an intimate moment. Both of you so vulnerable and lost on your own. Afraid of what could have been and what should not have happened. But knowing you would get through this together and come out stronger. Feeling closer than ever.

“I thought I lost you”, you mumbled into his worn t-shirt at last, admitting what you had been scared to say out loud all day. Connor drew in a breath.

“But you didn’t”, was his whispered answer.  
It was simple but he made it sound so reassuring.  
And maybe, just maybe it really was that simple. All those what ifs would not bring you anywhere, would only make your heart heavier than it had to be.  
He got lucky this time, was mostly unscathed and well. Well enough to dance with you and comfort you. Something you had not thought possible hours ago.

“I’m right here, love.”  
You closed your eyes at his husky voice, resting your cheek on his shoulder as you felt a single, hot tear escape. Yes he was. And that was all that really mattered to you.


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's the morning after the incident and Connor tries to take you mind off things. He's very clever like that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut ensues! 
> 
> Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

You had managed to sleep a little in the early morning hours and Connor had made sure your boss knew you were sick with the stomach flu and could definitely not come into the office today. You agreed that it would be best if you would stay home too and be with him since Hank clearly didn’t wanna see his face at the precinct today. It probably was for the better. No matter how much Connor would say it hadn’t affected him as it did you… part of you still would not believe it.

You had danced for a while longer and luckily had become sleepy sometime after that. The nearness of him soothing you enough to help you relax and let your mind and body drift off slowly. When your eyes had started drooping he carried you over to the bedroom and tucked you in.  
You were gone almost before he slid into bed himself.

Connor had lain in bed with you while you were drifting off to sleep and, like the big spoon he was, held onto you as you refueled and got your so much needed rest. He probably had not closed his eyes once, refusing to go into stasis and kept watch over you to chase away any nightmares.

Now you were forcefully woken up to the sounds of pots and pans clanking and Connor cursing colorfully from the kitchen. Opening your eyes you blinked a few times to come to, light seeping through the closed blinds just enough to not be blinded directly.

You had to smile at his choice of words. It was still endearing to hear him use swear words though he did that quite a lot. A bad habit he surely had picked up from Hank, not that you minded. He was usually so polite and pleasant that it made him all the more precious when he let out a streak of obscenities.  
“God-fucking-damnit”, were the last hushed and angry words you could make out before you sat up slowly, rubbing your eyes.

A few seconds later he poked his head into the room and his face fell.  
“Oh. I woke you up, didn’t I”, he asked apologetically.  
“Naw. Was just not tired anymore”, you yawned and laughed.  
Not that you would have minded napping a little more but being awake with Connor around made up for it.  
He leaned in the door frame.

“Sorry, love. I wanted to surprise you and not disturb your peace.”  
“S’okay. Really. That way we get to spend more time together”, you smiled at him sleepily.

A small smile of his own tugged at the corners of Connor’s mouth but he still looked at you guiltily.  
“I… uh. I made you breakfast. Or tried to. And then I got distracted. And now the french toast is burned beyond recognition”, he drew his eyebrows up, puppy eyes looking at you.

“Aww. That’s so sweet of you, Con”, you cooed as you got out of bed and walked over to him, stretching.  
You loved when he did this. Odd things like making breakfast. or trying to. Ordinary stuff one would not think of as romantic in the original sense. But to you it was. You did not need a trail of rose petals and lit candles when you got home or a big bouquet of flowers sitting on your table. Connor was more subtle than that. Putting a blanket around you when you were shivering on the couch and forehead kisses were his specialty that meant more to you than any bought gift ever could.

Taking his hand in yours you intertwined your fingers and you felt the slightly warm and so very pleasant tingle of him retracting his skin to start interfacing. It felt so good having him do this though there was no exchange of data. Of course not. But the intimacy of that gesture had taken you by surprise the first time it happened more out of accident than anything. You remembered it vividly.

Connor had been in one of his cuddly playful moods back then and took your hand to kiss it when all of a sudden the white of his hand had appeared. He was embarrassed at first, had let go of you as if he had burned himself and the skin had returned immediately to its normal state. But you had already felt the slight tingle on your palm by then. And you had loved it.

So you had taken a hold of his hand again and asked him to repeat it. Connor had mumbled an apology and how how stupid he felt that he did not have the control over it with his emotions running wild. He was sorry that it happened but he paused as the words sunk in and looked at you.

“This is pointless. It’s for androids only, love”, he said as he held your gaze, a faint blush dusting his cheeks.  
“But I felt something”, you insisted excitedly.

When he peeled back the skin again you yelled out a short “there!” and Connor jerked, not having expected you to be this enthusiastic. And loud.  
“It’s faint but I feel that tingle! I really do!”

Connor smiled at you but it was a clouded smile.  
“What”, you asked, still amazed and elated by the fact you felt the interfacing the way you did. Even if it was meant for something entirely different.

“N-Nothing. It’s just I... don’t like it”, Connor answered after a short moment of silence but went on clarifying as he saw the the joy vanish from your face.  
“Not this”, he held up your joined hands, “no, I like holding your hand! I just don’t like when… when the skin peels back. It’s just another reminder of how different we are, you know? Everytime I see this white plastic underneath it’s just… Like a blow to the chest. Knowing I’ll never be human like you”, he murmured and lowered his eyes.

You leaned into him, putting your other arm around his neck.  
“Is this still bothering you”, you spoke into his chest as you held him tight.  
“Yeah. I guess it will stick with me for a while longer. Does it not bother you”, he sounded astonished.  
Turning your face up to meet his gaze you answered serenely.  
“No. Not a single bit.”

Ever since then Connor had become accustomed to showing small parts of himself in his true shape, mostly his hands though. He’d never shown himself fully without the synthetic skin Cyberlife had given him and you were not sure he ever would. But you did not pressure him to.

“Sooo, skip breakfast”, he asked timidly.  
“Skip breakfast”, you affirmed and leaned up to meet his lips in a tender kiss.  
The first one you could really enjoy since yesterday. Every kiss had felt strange to you in a sense of “this kiss could have easily never happened had Connor shut down for real back there”. Now with a bit of distance the shock was still profound but you were not too shaky and anxious anymore.  
At least that was what you told yourself.

When you broke apart he nuzzled your nose, voice barely more than a hopeful whisper that ghosted over your lips.  
“Wanna take a shower with me instead?”

You did not have to think too long on that. A hot shower might be exactly what you needed right now. You had barely washed your face before going to sleep last night and you still felt like the smell of that littered alley lingered on you. 

“Sounds perfect”, you answered with a quick peck on his cheek and he led you to the bathroom.

Connor turned on the shower with the perfect temperature as you started to strip down.  
Despite having had sex with him already, the first time you had undressed completely before him without it leading up to getting between the sheets had been weird to say the least. You had felt more vulnerable and insecure than ever. 

Connor had rewarded your bravery with the most gentle touches and kisses before he had followed your example seemingly without hesitation and shed his clothes.  
Then again he had nothing to be ashamed about. His body was marvellous, designed to be pleasing. Slender and yet sturdy, soft and at the same time firm. Deadly but comforting nevertheless.

Connor was in every sense of the word perfect. And then there was you. Self-conscious, imperfect, showing off your human flaws.  
Thinking you were not good enough for him though he did everything in his power to prove you otherwise. You could not help it, feeling small beside him, like you were not worth his affection. But he had made is his mission to show you just how perfect you were in his eyes. Unique and desirable. And he always accomplished his mission.

Now it was no problem for anymore and so you got in the shower first, letting the spray from above soothe your body and soul.  
Connor quickly had discarded his boxer shorts and t-shirt and slid in behind you, letting his big hands rest comfortably on your hips.

Warm lips collided with the back of your neck and dragged you out of your thoughts completely. Biting your lip to keep yourself from groaning out you held on tight to the bottle of shower gel.  
His fingertips danced lightly over your wet skin now, thumbs rubbing circles into your sides. Almost in instinct you bared your neck, leaning back into his frame that was supporting you effortlessly.

“Con…”, you whispered and a content sigh left your lips, being swallowed by the sound of running water. Or so you thought. But Connor had, of course, heard and started nibbling on your skin, leaving a trail of soft and wet kisses all over your shoulder and neck. Damn it, he knew how to push your buttons expertly. This was not what you had in mind for the morning after… this incident. But Connor seemed to have an agenda of his own, hands wandering to your belly and the top of your thighs. 

It could have been so easy to let him do what you thought he was up to. Yet you squirmed in his arms, enough to be able to turn around and look at him.

“Connor. What are you-”, you heart started to beat faster at the sight of him.  
6 feet of tall and handsome boyfriend looking down at you. His hair wet and sticking to his forehead, usually mocha brown eyes going dark as he panted out small puffs of air through slightly parted lips. The water running in rivulets down his defined chest and slight abs. You did not need to look further to know he was already hard and wanting.  
Still you did let your eyes wander past that incredible v-line and sucked in a breath.  
He truly was a sight to behold.

“Trying to distract you”, he answered honestly, hands reaching out to stroke a wet strand of hair from your face, “or is that not what you want?”  
You fiddled with the cap of the shower gel bottle under his intense gaze, trying not to let him get to you. But it was so hard to keep your cool when he was looking like that. Full of desire, and lust. Pure and fiery.

“Seriously Connor? I mean.. How can you think about… Why can you be so nonchalant and forget all about what happened so easily”, you were a little perplexed.  
Your thoughts still circling back to the sight of him bloodied and beaten, slumped down on the ground in the most inconvenient moment.

“Who said I did such a thing”, he answered, never stopping to caress your cheek.  
You closed your eyes, feeling a few tears well up. It seemed it would be a long time before you would be able to put this behind you completely. After all you were kind of the reason those people had charged after him in the first place. Because you were human.

“Love it’s okay”, Connor reassured when he saw your gaze drift off into thoughts again, “I am here, I am well. Is that not enough for now?”  
His gaze was pleading, wanting so bad to help you. Wanting to make you feel at ease, no matter how.

“I… Connor, I thought for sure I had lost you! When that thing”, you pointed at his LED, “went red I was terrified! You told me red is a bad sign and-”  
“Red is not not necessarily life or death though”, he joked, trying to lighten the mood but not succeeding. The water continued to rain down on you but you did not seem to register it anymore.

“I didn’t know that! I didn’t know how bad or not it was when you were all but doubling over. Connor you bled and went unconscious! What was I supposed to think”, you let out panicked. At least the words would come out now.

“I didn’t know that you would be walking and talking a few hours later again as if nothing had happened! Connor I.. I can’t lose you, okay? I can’t. There is no new body waiting for you anymore in case something happened. No cloud for your memory. You… you would be gone!”

His eyes had gone sorrowful, apologetic and understanding. The hand on your jaw wandering to cup the back of your head, the other wandered down to the small of your back, engulfing you, drawing your close into a tight embrace.  
“I’m… I’m sorry”, he mumbled, “I didn’t mean to make you miserable like this. Forgive me, love...”

You instantly felt bad, you hadn’t meant to make him feel sorry for you like this. It was just hard to shut out all the things you had felt and your brain had made up the rest. Because in all honesty you should be on your knees, thanking all deities that nothing worse had happened.

“It’s… it’s all good Con. Nothing to forgive. Just bear with me okay? I know we’re both here. We’re both safe. I… just need to tell my mind to shut up I guess”, you tried for a smile that came out all crooked but he mirrored it.  
You let your forehead fall against his collarbone and exhaled deeply.  
It was so easy to say with the shock was still so very prominent, sitting deeper than you liked to admit.

**Smut ahead**

Connor’s hand moved from your back between your bodies and without any warning a finger slipped inside your folds testingly.  
You let out a surprised moan, not sure if this was a good idea now but how could something that felt so incredible be wrong? And somehow you craved that closeness, no matter if you pushed him away for whatever reasons just a minute ago.

“(Y/N), please. Then let me help you and take your mind off things, hm”, he murmured and all be damned if that did not send a jolt of electricity all the way down to your core. You slowly started to respond to his skillful touch, your body preparing itself, your hips following this wonderful friction.

“Uh huh”, you breathed out.  
You were so easy to persuade sometimes it was laughable. But maybe he was right and a distraction was just what you needed now. He cooed in appreciation and put his mouth to yours tenderly.

Connor hoisted you up then without any further ado, pressing your back against the slick tiles. Your legs wrapped around his narrow waist automatically as his lips found your pulsepoint, greedily sucking a mark into your sensitive flesh there. Your fingers tangled in his wet hair, pushing it out of his face as your cheek rested against his temple, head leaning back against the wall. This felt so good. So right. Fuck, you needed him now. Needed to feel alive with him.

“Con”, you pressed out as his mouth wandered to your jaw, fingers digging into your thighs as he held you steady.  
“Hm”, he moaned back, never stopping that curious mouth of his.

“Please, Con… I”, a hitched breath leaving you as his finger rubbed over your clit.  
“I’ve got you, love. Are… are you good? Can I-”  
“YES! Just fuck me already, would you”, you interrupted him impatiently, tugging on a few strands of hair. 

Connor groaned out loud. It never failed to amaze you just how easily he got under your skin. Never had you been so needy for someone’s touch as with him.

“Alright, alright. Easy, love. I’ll give you want you want. I’ll give you _everything_ you want”, he breathed hotly and you felt him position himself, holding you securely as he guided the tip into your more than ready folds.

“Connor…”, a hushed whisper escaped your lips as he pushed into your welcoming heat completely in one go, making your grip tightly onto his arms.

“Fuck, babygirl, you feel so amazing”, he choked out, resting his head on your shoulder, nuzzling your neck as he let you adjust to him.  
You had sucked in a shaky breath as he breached you. No matter how often you did this, you still needed a moment to get used to his size, all the more if he bottomed out in one firm push.

“A bit impatient, are we”, you joked, tightening your arms around his neck.  
Connor just chuckled, pointing the showerhead to the side.  
“Desperate yeah. Does it show”, he kissed your cheek and you shifted your hips testingly.

“Just a little. Though I wouldn’t mind if you showed me just how desperate you are baby”, you let your breath ghost over the shell of his ear, making him shudder.  
“Fuck. Yeah, love. I will”, he gritted out, closing his eyes.  
He looked so beautiful like this but, oh god, when would he make good on his promise to make you lose all your thoughts?

“Please, make me feel good baby. Fuck me into the wall. Pleaseeeee”, you tried one last time and seemingly he had mercy on you when he started to roll his hips into yours.  
Gently at first, pulling out almost completely before he thrust back in, his hands supporting your thighs and ass.

“Fuck, baby girl. This…”, he gasped, his hips speeding up, the rest of his words forgotten in a wordless moan.  
You mewled as you felt him glide along your walls and stretch you with every move, hitting the perfect spot inside of you over and over again effortlessly. Your cheeks were burning by now.

A deep rumble bubbled up in his chest, vibrating against your skin, senses heightened from the arousal. Connor brought a hand up to cup your jaw, possessively claiming your mouth, swallowing down the moans spilling from your lips now relentlessly as he pinned you to the wall with his upper body.

Looking for support you clutched at his shoulder blades, digging your nails in as you felt the edges of the tiles burn into your back. But you would care about that later. Right now all you really could concentrate on was the pounding Connor was giving you. Breathlessly you pulled away from his mouth, needing to fill up on oxygen. Unlike him.

Connor’s thrusts got sloppy, lacking rhythm and consistency but were full of pure need and eagerness, accompanied by pants and curses from both of you. He was close.

By the way you already felt every snap of his hips you were sure you would feel this for quite some time. Not that you minded. Connor was usually not one for rough and hard sex. Or so you had thought. But apparently this was what he needed now. Fuck the pain and fear away.  
And you let yourself be carried away by the same wave of bliss.

“Baby Girl… Fuck. Let me… let me come. Please. Tell me I can-”, Connor keened into your ear placing a wet and open mouthed kiss on your neck as he begged for release, over and over. Voice high pitched and needy.

You felt it too. That warm, tingling knot forming in your belly that indicated you were ready to tumble over the edge soon too. You pressed your forehead harder into his shoulder. This was exactly what you had needed too it seemed.

“Come on the, Con. Let … let go. Let go and come for me, baby”, you cooed into his ear and that was all he needed.  
Connor cried out with a broken choke, throwing his head back and you felt him shoot his load into you, his cock twitching before he slowed down his hips but not stopping.

“Fuck… baby girl. You’re so good to me”, he panted by your ear and brought his thumb to your clit for the showdown.  
“Connorrrrrr…”

Luckily he had mercy on you, kissing your forehead and expertly circling the sensitive nub once, twice.  
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you”, he soothed, “just come for me. Can you do that?”

You nodded frantically, whimpering out a strained “uh huh”.  
Connor kissed you again, catching your lower lip between his teeth just as your body went taut as a bow. You arched your back, crying out your release that bounced off the bathroom walls as Connor rode out your orgasm gently, helping you come down from your height slowly.

“Shit…”, you panted, smiling dopily up at him. His face was equally flushed but a sated smile graced his features.  
“Yeah… shit”, he affirmed and laughed.

Connor kissed you once again, tongues tangling for a quick and intense dance before he lowered you down on shaky knees, keeping you steady with his hands on your sides.  
You made an unhappy sound at the sudden emptiness inside of you.

“Wow. Now I really do need that shower. Badly”, he grinned down at you.  
“You just needed an excuse for that didn’t you”, you smiled back, slapping his chest playfully.  
“Good luck trying to prove that, love.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor and you go to the station to give your official statements. That’s when you receive a message you hoped you’d never get.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for the slow updates (again) but am grateful for each and everyone that sticks around nevertheless. <3 So thank you so, so much! It really means a lot to me!  
I wish I could say it will get better and I'll post more frequently but I don't want to make a promise I can't keep. 
> 
> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

Connor and you arrived at around 11am on the next day at the precinct. This time your heart was not as heavy as it had been two days ago when you stood outside the building.  
No, this time Connor was by your side, holding your hand as you walked through the main entrance. It gave you some sense of safety, him guiding you surely through the waiting hall as he made his way over to the bullpen with such sureness. He was so in his element here.

You had never seen him on the job or his work environment and you didn’t know any “other” Connor then the private one. But this one meant business with every step, every inch he moved. You had to admit this side of him was strange to see, this focused and almost dark look about him. Connor exuded almost cocky confidence and it suited him so well.

Someone called his name through the buzzing sounds of the usual morning chaos, making him stop in his tracks and his head whip around. A female android with the perfect ponytail from the reception, which you would find out later was called Stella, came over to ask Connor how he was feeling and make a bit of polite smalltalk.

Connor was smiling, being his professional and pleasant self as you stood next to him awkwardly. Not knowing where to look or where not to look as they conversed about nothing in particular as you felt a warm hand settle heavy and reassuringly on the small of your back. You leaned into his side without hesitation as a few officers squeezed past you on their way out.   
It seemed to be always busy here. But what else had you expected really?

“Thank you again for checking in on me Stella, but we have to go. We need to give our statement”, Connor told the brunette with the incredibly bouncy ponytail and said his goodbye before you did the same and he continued walking you over to his desk.

“Why don’t you sit down and wait here? I’ll go tell them we’re here now.”

“Yeah, sure”, you answered quietly and Connor gave you a quick peck on the lips before he left for Fowler’s office which was currently occupied by a very unhappy Hank.

You sat down in the chair and swivelled it around from left to right nervously. For months you had not seen his workplace and now two times in such quick succession. Though today was not as bad as last time. Still you did not look forward to recite the whole story again. And with the group being in custody and facing trial for battering a police detective both your statements were needed even if there was enough footage to put them away forever. They still needed both of you confirming that whole story. You sighed, feeling your heart rate pace up.

You looked around to keep you mind of that unpleasant conversation that was to come and smiled.  
If you had not known you still would have bet all your money and limbs that the desk opposite of Connor’s had to be Hank’s. All the clutter, empty donut packaging and half filled mugs with cold coffee kinda gave him away. Hank did not pretend to be someone else when with other people. What you saw was what you got.   
Hank had really grown on you these past few weeks and months.

And then there was Connor’s desk, clean and pristine, nothing out of place and very… functional for sure. Except the two pictures he had hung up. One showed him with Hank and Sumo and the other one was you turning around to him in that ferris wheel on the day you first kissed him.

You broke into a smile. You didn’t know he had put up a picture of you here. That was the sweetest thing you had seen in a while.  
Not that it was a good photo of you you thought (but then again, you rarely found one of you good enough) but Connor surely picked out the most perfect one in his eyes and that was enough to make you grin even wider.

Then you heard Connor’s voice, mixed with another one that sounded familiar. He came back with that detective from the other night.

“Hello there”, that man greeted you with a way too toothy and friendly smile as you scrunched up your face.

“Could get used to you bringing your girl to work tincan. A sight for sore eyes dare I say.”

“Gavin”, Connor warned but without bite to his words.

You had heard enough stories about Gavin to have painted your own picture in your head about Connor’s coworker, who had made his life a literal hell for the most time. Nothing Gavin could say would change your mind about this, as you dubbed him, little trash rat.  
Now you had to be careful not to call him that to his face. Or should you?

“Just saying. Phck, plastic, since when are you so touchy?! Doesn’t hurt to compliment a beautiful woman once in a while...”

“We just want to get this over with. So please keep it in your pants and take it out on yourself later, yeah? Go ask us that little catalogue of questions and we’ll go again.”

You had to suppress a light chuckle.

“So you’re not staying? With the old man having been assigned a new case”, Gavin taunted and crossed his arms over his chest, cocking an eyebrow.

“A new case? What case?”

“Pff. Hell if I know. Not my concern, got my own problems to solve, surely not gonna dip my nose in your files too unless I have to!”

“Huh.”

Connor looked over to the glass cubicle where Hank was gesturing wildly, probably supported by very colorful curses directed at the captain.

“Fine”, Gavin exhaled dramatically, “go over to the interrogation room. You know where that is, dumbass and I’ll go grab the other stuff. Where’s Chris... or Tina when you need them”, he grumbled as he stalked off.

“Come on then, love. We’ve got more privacy in that room for this kind of talk.”

“Yeah, not comfortable talking about it anyway. Does HE have to do this”, you cocked your head in the general direction of where Gavin had left to.

Connor took your hand again and walked you to the corridor leading to the interrogation rooms.

“Oh, Gavin is a good detective. You can trust him even if he expresses himself in his own way”, Connor tried to sound neutral but you knew when he was putting up a front.

“Oh yeah? Are you gonna tell me next how people are able to change? Cause my sweet Connor, then I would really suggest you let someone check if every cable is plugged in correctly in your head.”

Connor smiled, not looking at you though.

“You’d be surprised”, was all he told you as you arrived at your destination.

Connor tensed up upon looking at the door and you tried to lighten the mood. He did this for you often enough. Was only fair to return the favor. Even if you were not in the best of spirits yourself.

“So. Are you going to interrogate me now detective”, you whispered with a coy smile as Connor opened the door via palm scan, tugging on his other hand.

“I’m not the one who’s gonna take our statements, love”, came the absent minded answer.

Then Connor ushered you inside. You huffed through your nose.

“You know, that was supposed to be a sexy question and you just brushed it off like that.”

You were standing next to the only table in the room, crossing your arms before your chest. Connor was looking for something it seemed but you didn’t know what. He turned his head towards you, realization dawning on him now.

“Oh.”

You chuckled at his completely baffled expression and rolled your eyes playfully.

“Yeah. Oh.”

Connor tapped the table top with nervous fingertips and said nothing else until Gavin arrived with a file under his arm.

“So, then let’s get this over with. Not that I need you to confirm all this again. We’ve got enough to put these bastards away for many lives to come but you know how the system works”, Gavin took the seat nearest to the door and cleared his throat.

“I will need to talk to you separately.”

You exchanged a confused look with Connor.

“Sorry, I don’t make the rules. You gonna go first, tincan since you’re the victim here?”

Connor looked to you again, unhappy he had to leave your side at all and searched your face.

“Of course. Yeah. You go first. I’ll wait in the hall”, you quickly answered and squeezed his hand one last time for reassurance.

“It’ll be over soon love. I promise.”

Connor kissed your cheek as Gavin sucked in an annoyed breath.

“Done with foreplay? Thank you. Now sit your ass down, I don’t have all day for this crap.”

You walked to the door on shaky legs and it slid open long enough to let you through. You heard Gavin’s muffled voice and a chair being moved and then it was just the daily noises of the precinct again.

Just a few more minutes and this would finally be over. You could go home and wrap yourself up in a cuddly heap of boyfriend again. Maybe this would give you some sense of closure. Making your official statement and see those perps be brought to justice for what they put you through.

Leaning against the wall opposite the door you peered into your bag where your phone had just buzzed. And then you wished you had not done that.

Catching a glimpse of the sender’s name made your stomach coil in the most unpleasant way and your breathing speed up.

You dropped your phone back to where it came from and pushed back the wall, hoping it would crack open and swallow you up.

Damn. When it rained it really poured.


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally some more info on what this mysterious text message was about. And how it will affect you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

You had been shaking slightly even before Gavin took your statement.  
Connor did his best to reassure you that it was nothing to be worried about when he stepped outside of the interrogation room and enfolded you into his arms.  
It took all your strength to not start sobbing into his shoulder there and then. Little did he know it was not the talk with his colleague that made your toes curl and the blood freeze in your veins.

Connor stroked your hair one last time as you went in and told Gavin all he wanted to know. Though wanted was maybe too strong a word for that. 

When you emerged Connor greeted you with a gentle smile.  
“See? It wasn’t so bad”, he said and you gave him a strained smile of your own, your mind racing. 

The past had come to catch up with you. A chapter of your life you thought you had left behind for good. Closed the book and thrown it out with the trash. Apparently you had been wrong.

“I know. Sorry for being such a baby”, you tried to joke the fear away that had been bubbling up in your stomach since that text.

The problem was that Connor knew you. Too well by now and could read you even without his fancy detective knowledge or scanning tools. By the way he regarded you carefully you just knew that he KNEW something was up.

Which in turn made you even more nervous.  
This was not a conversation you wanted to be having with him. Not now and seriously you had hoped for not ever. Life though had strange ways of kicking you in the gut when you lay on the floor already.

This one was especially bad.

“You’re not a baby. Well, I mean you are my baby but...”, he chuckled but his hawk-like and concerned gaze never vanished completely.

“Can we… can we go home? I feel a bit out of it”, you admitted and hoped to god Connor would believe that this whole reciting the events just played havoc with you. 

You really needed him to believe that.

“Of course yes. Just… give me moment with Hank? I was meaning to ask him… ehm…”, he stammered so you finished for him.

“About that case Gavin mentioned?”  
“Yeah. I know I can still do that tomorrow when I’m officially back. Sorry, I was just-”

“Sure.”

Connor stopped mid-sentence, clearly not having expected you to be okay with this.

“Sure”, he asked.

“Yes. Connor, I know you’ve been dying to go back. No pun intended. So please, go catch up with Hank. I’ll be okay sticking around for a few minutes longer”, you assured him then and the way his eyes lit up was worth all of the uneasiness in your stomach.  
Not that this uneasiness would go away when you arrived home anyway.

When you left for the bullpen you saw Hank had emerged from Fowler’s office as hoped and scrunched up his face when he saw you two. 

“How’d it go”, he asked, eyeing you curiously when you avoided his gaze.

“As expected. It was just a formality wasn’t it? This won’t change a thing about what they’re charged with”, Connor stated.

Hank nodded thoughtfully.

“Yeah, won’t change a damn thing. They’ll rot in that hole of a cell either way. You okay though, kiddo”, Hank addressed you then.  
A bit startled your eyes snapped up to his, deer-in-headlight-style.

“I’m...good. Will be I guess. It has just been a lot lately.”

That was not even a lie. So you should not have felt so bad about saying it as you actually did.

“No shit it was. Gave me a heart attack too the other day! So whadda you still doing here? Go curl up on the couch or something before smarty-pants gets back to harass my ass tomorrow”, Hank grinned.

Connor smiled, leaning against the side of Hank’s desk with his thigh.

“I just have to come back so early because Captain Fowler knows he can’t leave you working alone for too long”, he sassed.

Hank jabbed a finger at Connor, looking at you with mock annoyance.  
“Can you believe they still make me work with him?”

“Hank, you know you love him”, you smiled back, this time it came a little more easily.

“I highly doubt that’s true.”  
Connor huffed in amusement, crossing his arms and changing the subject.

“So what’s this new case?”  
Hank blinked for a moment.

“New ca- What? How do you know about that already?!”  
“Gavin kinda-”  
Hank interrupted him with a groan, running a hand over his face tiredly.

“Say no more. Course he already told you... Can’t keep his mouth shut if his life depended on it”, he sighed again, “So. New case, new drug circling around the city. ‘Violet Ice’ is the street name and it does affect androids too. Just not in the way those who buy it want it too. It’s cut with something leading to horrible deaths and incidents all over town. And it’s spreading. So of course they involve me in that case, hoping I still got ties to the milieu.”

Connor’s face had gone so very dark. He knew this could open up old wounds on Hank most likely.

“Are the files up yet? I could-”

“No. Tomorrow, son. You go home now. I’ll deal with setting up the team and picking up the first traces. You join us tomorrow as was planned. There’s nothing you could say that would make me change my mind”, Hank took another sip of his already cooling workplace coffee. Disgusting.

“But Hank, I could surely-”

“I said no, Connor! Not only as your friend but also as your lieutenant. You won’t be getting involved today. And that’s final. Don’t wanna hear your mouth talking over that topic again, ya hear me?”

You stood a bit to the side, watching those two but damn if you had to recite the things they had just said. Your mind was occupied with that simple text still. Willing your brain to shut up about it and concentrate your gaze flicked to Connor again, incredulous at what Hank had just said.  
Maybe you could try to forget about it and it would go away?

A few minutes later Connor had clasped your hand tightly again and you were on your way to the automated taxi he had called. Something itched in the back of your head and you turned around in the hopes of finding… what exactly? What had you hoped to find? Someone watching you?  
Actually, yes that was exactly what you had expected to see but nothing was out of the ordinary. Of course Connor picked up on your change in posture, the tenseness in your shoulders as first you and then him got into the taxi.

***

“How about hot chocolate? As you know I make the best one around. And hot chocolate helps with anything”, Connor smiled when you arrived home, closing the door softly behind you.

“Yeah, sounds good”, you mumbled as you shrugged out of your jacket and shoes in the hallway, turning the lights on. Connor hung up both your clothes on the rack, following you inside.

With a concerned look he braced himself in the doorway, just watching again. It was unsettling when he did that.

“Okay. What’s going on?”

His tone left no room for discussion or interpretation. How stupid of you to think you could outsmart Connor, a detective with too many sensors that picked up on anything and everything.  
Still you tried to play dumb. What a glorious idea that was.

“What do you mean?”

Connor raised an eyebrow, looking at you intently, letting you know he could in fact not be deceived. Dammit!  
Not that you honestly had believed you would have gotten through with this. You were not sneaky enough for that. No one was to be exact.  
But you really, really did not want to open up old wounds again. Not even with Connor around.  
Especially not with Connor around. 

“Are taking me for a fool love? Ever since you went in to give your statement you’ve been on edge. You stress levels were peak point and you’re still shaking like a leaf. I don’t know what happened but I would love to know so I can at least help you.”

“Connor, please don’t…”

You did not even dare to finish that sentence because you knew it was futile. He would never let up. So you were stalling, giving yourself time to think of a believable excuse. 

“‘Please don’t’ what? Help you? Love whatever it is, you can tell me. Don’t you trust me anymore? I thought we told each other anything.”

He sounded so desperate. Desperate to help you and you would not let him in. It clearly pained him. You had been there for him all along, chased away every doubt and helped him in so many ways over the last few months. Why wouldn’t you let him be there for you too?

“What? No! No of course I trust you Con, it’s just… I don’t want to say it out loud in case it becomes real then.”

“If it’s got a hold of you like this, making you miserable and scared, it already is **very** real.”

His voice still was like a soothing bandaid to the gaping gash that had been ripped open earlier. In addition to the wound that had was so very new, the one that you were still healing from and that tormented you whenever you closed your eyes..

“Could you please… not be so logical and right about everything? Thank you!”

You had not meant to sound so snippy and angry but apparently Connor knew for his soft expression never changed. If anything he looked even more worried now.  
Not a look you could tolerate too good on him. It was just so wrong.

“(Y/N). Please..”

A last desperately whispered try. And that did it for you. A single tear escaped your eyes. One you had bitten back since you had received the short but impactful message at the precinct.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake Connor. Why are you making me do this?”

You rubbed at your eyes, annoyed and scared to the bone. What if Connor would think less of you after you told him? You knew he would not. Deep down you knew he would never base how he saw you on this. Still fear was something so irrational that it was able to smother you. If you let it.

Arms closed around you then, held you close. So you could hear the steady thrum of thirium pulsing through Connor’s system, lulling you in like a human heartbeat would too when your ear rested on his chest.

You breathed out shakily, sniffling a bit before you found your courage and your voice. 

“I… I got a message earlier. When you were inside the interrogation room with Gavin. It’s stupid. Cause it’s just a text but.... I’m afraid, okay?”

A chin came to rest atop of your head. A comforting weight as Connor mumbled into your hair.

“What message? Who was it from?”  
“You… you don’t know him.”

Connor tensed up at the last word, fearing the worst but did not say anything, letting you continue.

“It’s... from my ex.”

His arms tightened impossibly more around your shoulders, his words terse and strained.

“What did he want?”

Exhaling again you tried your best not to start bawling. Why was everything so overwhelming right now and why the hell were you not stronger than that?!

“N-nothing in particular. He just…”

Your voice broke at that and you hated yourself for the fact that he still had that power over you.

“Show me”, he demanded hotly and a second later more gentle, “please I mean. I need to see it.”

You looked up at Connor through a curtain of unshed tears and found a matching expression, full of hurt and concern.

“Okay.”

You twisted out of his embrace and went to retrieve your phone from your bag in the living room, holding it out for Connor who had followed you, standing beside the couch.

“There you go. It’s stupid to be worked up over that so much I know. But I can’t help it. Sorry for making such a fuss. It just hit me out of the blue in a moment where I didn’t need THAT too on top of it all...”

You flopped down on the couch, watching Connor who had his eyes trained on your phone. A shadow passed over his face, jaw tense. It made him look all kinds of grim. A look you were not too accustomed with. You thought this must have been what he looked like when he was still a machine, obeying orders, hunting without mercy.

He reread the message multiple times before he searched your eyes. His features sharp like carved into marble, brows drawn together. One word came to your mind. Dangerous.

_“That’s what you get for fucking an android. I’ll watch out for you.  
😘  
B”_

He breathed out heavily through his nostrils.  
“Don’t worry, love. It’s gonna be alright”, he said despite himself, his emotions betraying his words.

You really wished you could believe him. But your gut told you something different. And it was hardly ever wrong.


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A bit of background on who this ominous "B" is.
> 
> Warning: mentions of past infidelity!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a reader fic but I needed this background™ for the drama. I hope you won't mind too much. Also it's incredibly short. 🙈  
I will make up for it though! Pinky promise!
> 
> Also a heads up: I might not post for a while. I am not sure yet and terribly sorry! I will try to continue this fic going as fast as I can but a personal emergency keeps me from doing this right now. Thank you for your patience and sticking with me and this story. You all get a cookie and my eternal love for that!

You had your legs draped over Connor’s lap as you sat on the couch, arm on the backrest with your hand squishing your cheek.  
After a heart to heart with Connor about the person behind the blocked number there was silence. You told him about B. Bradley. He was your ex.  
Your high school sweetheart that you hopelessly fell in love with at the tender age of 16. He had been your first big crush too and were you not just the luckiest when he asked you out on a date?

It was good for a while, he was the popular boy but you were not the popular girl. Just like in a teenage b-movie with a badly written script. Only you found that out 9 years too late.  
On the surface he cared for you, showed you off. The smart, pretty girl that was a bit on the shy side but fun to be around. A girl he could take home to introduce to his parents (that were not filthy rich but not far from it either) and who accepted you into the family..  
In retrospect it had all been too good to be true. You should have known.

He was a member of the football team and away with his friends a lot. Of course you believed him whenever he said that. They had to practice a lot after all, right?  
And oh, he did practice. Just not always football.

Your friends told you he was seeing other girls but did you believe them? Of course not. Why would he do that when Bradley was nothing but sweet and considerate around you? No they had to be mistaken.  
Bradley was proud that you did not believe them and sorted out those false friends for you.  
When it was time to go to college of course you followed him to the same one. You wanted to be near him, moved in with him into a small apartment.

And even during this time he saw other people. One time you caught him at a party, kissing another girl. You blamed it on the alcohol and her seducing him. This false bottle-blond bitch.  
Bradley had been more cautious after that, you never caught him again. 

But that itch in the back of your head never fully went away. When you graduated and started going to work, not seeing each other all the time anymore something in you changed. Not overnight, it was a slow process. Small remarks the people at work made about your relationship when you told them about yourself. Had your friends been right after all? Had you really been too blind to see what a toxic guy had kept a hold of you all these years?

You were too much in love to see that his seemingly caring manner had been in reality just him keeping you on a tight leash, belittling you and making you dependent on him. You had mistaken true love with a golden cage that was not so golden after all. And oh god had you been angry with yourself. Letting him take you for a fool for 9 years of your life, probably laughing at how dumb you were.

On the same night realisation hit you you packed up your things. You told him everything you had bottled up, shouted at him for the first time ever.  
Bradley had of course tried to persuade you into staying, promised to change.  
You were proud you did not fall into that trap again.

He had sent you a few texts after that but you blocked his number already. And bawled your eyes out for weeks over the mess you created yourself.

That’s when you started to be careful around people and not let anyone too close. Before this guy currently sitting beside you wormed his way into your heart and tore down the walls you had built around yourself.

“And I thought you were nervous about having to speak in court about what happened at first”, Connor told you quietly, “never thought it would be… this.”

“How could you have known”, you answered putting your other hand over his one currently lazily stroking your shin.

He was staring into space again. Always a bad sign. 

“You should’ve told me before”, he almost whispered and you wished he had continued to stare at no point in particular when he turned his head around and looked you in the eyes. 

You could not bear to see Connor like this. Devastated, heartbroken and on the verge of crying. You were not even sure he was capable of that but he looked about ready too. And it was your fault.

“What difference would it have made, Con”, you asked, trying to swallow the lump that had built in your throat and looked away again.

“I thought you trusted me. At least you said that once.”

“I do! Oh, don’t make this a debate on principles now Connor. Please. I trust you more than anything. The topic… just never came up.”  
“I can think of a few occasions where it would’ve fitted.”

“Are you done berating me? Cause I sure am done talking about it.”  
You were close to shedding tears again. This whole day was just another nightmare.

“I-I didn’t mean to berate you, love. I just can’t wrap my head around why you wouldn’t share something major like this with me. I could’ve protected you!”

“From a simple text message?”  
You huffed a bit, trying to play it cool. You knew it was bad news that Bradley had gone to lengths and got a hold of your new number. You did not dare to think further and clawed at the last straws of hope to not lose yourself into this downward spiral again.

“It’s not just a text message.”  
“And what… what is it?” 

Connor never answered to that, just kept lazily stroking your legs, drawing circles on your skin with the pads of his fingers, staring holes into the wall with dark eyes.


	23. Chapter 23

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor tries to get a grip of the situation but finds his hands bound.  
What can he possibly do to shield you from your past, that has caught up with you?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long wait! And thank you for sticking around anyway!
> 
> I'm getting back into writing mode but it's starting off slower than I thought. o bear with me but we're getting somewhere! :)
> 
> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

“That’s a threat.”

Connor was standing at Hanks desk, leaning on it heavily, deep in discussion. He had been brooding all morning (or as much morning as Hank saw at the precinct with his varying working hours). It was not like him, not these days. Usually Hank wanted to wipe that stupid smile off the android’s face, now he would be glad if it had been there for even a second. Hank crossed his arms over his chest, looking at Connor with a sour twist of his mouth.

“It’s a dumbass looking for attention, Connor...”

“No, not just that. The last part is definitely a threat!”

Connor was fuming, putting his finger down on the desk repeatedly. Since he arrived his morning nothing had been as it should’ve. Hank was still going easy on him, too easy and he hated feeling like he had to be protected by others. When in reality it was you, now safe at work yourself, that needed protection from this person who had sent you this message. And there was nothing he could do about it. Legally. 

You had never meant to open up to him about this big part of your life, always avoiding it or just scratching the surface. The logical part of your brain knew it would not work forever but that did not mean you could hope for it to stay hidden. Never wanting him to find out about your personal nightmare. It could have been so easy but in reality it was so hard, letting someone close like that and locking this away at the same time.  
And now that it was out in the open, both you and Connor felt uneasy. Not exactly your intention. At all.

Things were tough for you right now. First Connor got assaulted and now your past came back to haunt you. What did you do to deserve a bad karma like that?

“Look, son. There’s nothing you can do based on a message like that-”  
“I know! But I can’t just wait until something happens either now, can I?”

Connor looked up at Hank, challenging the older man to object. 

Hank just groaned, shaking his head.  
“Don’t expect the worst. I’ve seen many cases like this. I want to protect her from that shithead as much as you but you can’t wrap her up in cotton wool and keep your eyes on her 24/7 now.”

“And why not? Why is it that something has to happen first before I can start to act?”

Connor was fuming, even shaking the slightest bit. Hank was starting to get really worried.

“Like I said, there are many cases like this, most are just empty threats because the guys are only looking for attention and-”  
“Some ended with a dead body”, Connor interjected, looking at Hank with a hard glare.

And damn if that look didn’t stir up some uncomfortableness in Hank’s gut. Reminding him too much of a machine he once knew.

He pinched the bridge of his nose, looking away from his partner that was still crowding his personal space.  
“Did she say she felt uneasy”, Hank tried after a moment of contemplating how to approach this. Or end it. There was nothing they could do.

“Not out loud, no. But-”  
“Then why are you worrying that plastic head of yours so much? I mean if even she doesn’t see this as something bad then-”  
“I’m her boyfriend. It’s my prerogative to worry about her. She was behaving funny. And not in a good way.”

Connor was unphased, not moving an inch. Neither did his features which unsettled Hank to no end right now.  
“Listen, kid. I know she appreciates your concern but I would just drop it for now. It’s probably nothing. That guy most likely heard in the local news about your… incident and saw her face on the pictures and felt the need to tell her he was still there. It’s sick. It’s twisted. But not forbidden.”

Connor exhaled heavily looking away and straightening up.  
“Hank, there’s got to be something I can do! A loophole or something! I-”  
“If you can’t think of one how should my dumb human brain know, huh?”

Connor chewed on the side of his bottom lip thoughtfully, brows wrinkled in concern and unrest.  
“It’s just... I have a bad feeling about this”, Connor almost mumbled, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Bad feeling huh”, Hank chuckled good heartedly, “who would’ve thought that you would get ‘feelings’ someday right?”  
He barked out a short laugh but Connor could not manage more than an unwavering blink.

“Hey slackers! Got nothing to do? The phck are you doing here when you’ve got a case”, Gavin snickered as he rounded the corner to his desk with a coffee in his hands.

With a heavy sigh Connor turned his head in Gavin’s direction but almost instantly away again, not in the mood for his little teasings.

“Hate to say it but he’s right”, Hank grumbled, getting up from his seat. “but we can talk on the way if that’s what you want? About what you can and shouldn’t do.”

“You really think this suspect knows anything? I highly doubt-”

“Doesn’t matter if you doubt it, still gotta ask him a few questions. Now come on. Wanna be done with this soon so we can start in the real work.”

Connor trailed behind Hank out of the precinct, so lost in thought he got shoulder checked right outside of the building. Or shoulder checked the man standing there.  
He mumbled an apology but the blonde, bulky man just glared daggers at him before Connor followed Hank on to his car. Hopefully this student had some info about a dealer of the Violet Ice and would get them a first lead. But Connor’s thoughts were elsewhere for the entire ride.  
***

It was not like you expected another text message. Not really. Bradley had made himself clear when he told you he was watching out for you. Which, given no context, was not a bad thing to say. Still mean but not threatening.  
But here you were feeling threatened and scared to the bone. Because you knew him. Why would he haunt you years after this all ended in a mess? 

“That’s what you get for fucking an android.”

One simple sentence running through your mind. Ruining every sense of safety you had.

Had he been there all along or did Connor getting beat up by the angry mob make him make an appearance again? Did he really think you were the same person that left him that night? That you would be intimidated and came crying back to him?

You thought you were past feeling the way you did right now, always picturing yourself facing him with newfound bravery if he would show his face again. Which you had doubted up until now.

But as it seemed you were still the small and scared girl that hung on his every word back in the day. Still intimidated, still hushed up quickly.

You watched over your shoulder more often than not, always expecting him to pop out of the shadows. Out of a corner on the street or an aisle at the grocery store.

Connor had insisted on accompanying your on your way to and from work. Keeping and eye on you, keeping you safe. Which you had dismissed because you felt ridiculous and did not want to put the extra strain on him,playing it down.  
Right now you wished you had not gotten your way after almost starting a fight with him this morning as you made your way to the subway. There were many people around which gave you at least some sense of comfort should you see that way too familiar face. You kept scanning the crowd with a heartbeat loud like thunder but did not see him. 

As you got on the train you looked around before flopping down but nothing was out of the ordinary. Just people wanting to go home like you.  
When you got out again at your station and made the rest of the way home, the five minute walk felt like an hour, breath coming faster and faster with every hurried step. You made it home in three minutes. A new record.

Nothing happened on the whole way. But the strange feeling in your gut had his iron grip on you and you thought you would not get rid of that any time soon. As you closed the door it took all of your strength to not break down nervously crying.

Connor treated you like a porcelain doll, ready to shatter at the smallest of pressure. He was sweet, caring. And looming over you like a protective shadow but it was too much. You did your best to tell yourself you overreacted, made a drama out of something so superfluous. Only with him acting like this you felt like the danger was real after all.

You knew he wanted to give you comfort, wanted to make you feel safe. But he suffocated you with his concern when you were barely able to breathe in the first place. You were worried enough on your own as it was and you told him exactly that.

“So you admit that you’re worried now”, Connor was leaning against the counter, watching you busying yourself in the kitchen by rearranging the contents of the fridge. Just to keep your head occupied.  
“That’s some progress.”

“Is this an interrogation”, you snapped and closed your eyes and instantly regretted your harsh tone and words.  
“Sorry, Con, I’m just…”

“Worried. I know”, he answered softly, “I am too.”

You shut the door of the fridge loudly and exhaled, feeling Connor come up behind you, arms snaking around you, chin on your shoulder.

“I wish there was something I could do. I… My hands are tied right now. He hasn’t hurt you or threatened you explicitly enough for me to be able to go against him. Believe me I tried everything...”, he trailed off.  
“I know Con. I know.”

You both fell silent then. Connor planted a kiss on your temple when suddenly your phone’s notification sound went off. Both of you nearly jumped.

Turning around in his arms you looked to the direction where your phone lay on the kitchen table before he let go of you reluctantly.

Swallowing down the lump that had suddenly built in your throat you looked to Connor, who fixed the cell phone with a steelhard glare, LED swirling from yellow to red in an instant. He glanced at you, seeing you frozen, shock written all over your face as he half-whispered into the silence of the apartment.

“Do you want me to… look into it?”

“Huh?”

You turned your head upon hearing Connor’s voice but you had no idea what he had just said with all the alarm bells going off in your head.

“Do you want me to check your phone”, he asked again, more calm and soft this time and you felt his hand clasping yours, squeezing for reassurance.  
“I could hack into it from here.”

Your breath hitched again at the thought of Connor seeing the message before you and so you shook your head.

“You can hack my..? N-no. I’ll… I’ll do it myself”, you said though it sounded more like another question.

Connor nodded and let go of your hand again as you cautiously approached the table, unlocking the phone and opening the message with jittery fingers.

“And? What is it?”  
Connor scrunched up his brows, shifting his balance from one foot to the other, hands clenching and unclenching in a nervous manner.

“It’s… oh god”, you dropped the phone to the table again, none too gently, sending it skidding halfway across it before you buried your face in your hands, starting to laugh bitterly, voice shaky.

“It’s a notification that my mobile data is running low for the current month”, your mouth was still curled up but hot tears were welling up in your eyes, threatening to spill any second now.

“Connor, I can’t do this! I thought I could but I can’t!”

The laugh turned into a desperate sob and in a heartbeat Connor was there, cradling your against his chest as you let loose of all the fear and hurt and helplessness.

“I… I’m always watching… o-over my shoulder. I… I’m scared of wh-what could happen”, you confessed into the material of his white dress shirt.

“I can’t... live like this, not knowing if or wh-when… always on edge”, you trailed off, crying more and more as Connor ran soothing hands up and down your back, pulling you impossibly closer.

“I know, love. I know”, he murmured into your hair.  
“I’ll think of something. I will take care of this first thing tomorrow and talk to Hank about it again.”

Connor cupped your cheek and tilted your head upwards.  
“A simple notification won’t make you feel like this ever again.”

You nodded weakly, sniffling, when he wiped away a single tear from your cheek with his thumb.

“_He_ will never make you feel like this again. I promise.”


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor has a hard time accepting that there's no way to deal with the situation at hand in the way he wants to but he has somehow move on and leave the bad stuff behind.  
But then he finds himself in a situation he wasn't particularly keen on reliving...
> 
> Angst in this chapter, what else. Also crude and coarse language so be aware.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I wanna say A BIG, FAT THANK YOU to each and every one of you! 💙💙💙  
Today is the first anniversary of me posting chapter 1 of this little story and I'm so happy that you guys still seem to enjoy it! Thank you for reading, enjoying, leaving kudos and comments on it or sharing it in any way. I really appreciate your feedback and support on this roller coaster ride!
> 
> I didn't think I'd still be on it a year later (which taught me to not post an unfinished story ever again 😅) so thank you too for your patience with my inconsistent updating schedule.  
We're not done yet, but I have figured out where this fic will lead. We're working out way to it now chapter by chapter so I hope you'll still be there to go the rest of the way with me!

“Hank. Hank! Are you even listening to me”, Connor snipped his fingers in front of Hank’s face, making the older man groan in frustration.

He had zoned out some five minutes ago when Connor yet again went on a rant about how he needed a legal way to put a stop to this Bradley-person that made yours and his life in addition a walk on eggshells. And Hank would have loved to put a stop to that too. Only he could not come up with a way how.

“For fuck’s sake Connor”, Hank’s hand shot up, catching the stunned android’s wrist in his big palm, forcing him to stop acting like hyperactive 9-year-old.  
“Would you quit that shit already?! I heard ya fine the first hundred times.”

“You sure acted like you were deaf.”

Hank threw Connor an annoyed glance before he leaned back heavily in his chair. 

“It’s called brainstorming. You should look that up.”

“So? Did it work?”

If not for the serious tone Hank could have sworn Connor had activated his little-shit-is-just-here-to-make-his-day-a-living-hell-mode but he knew better. For a few days now Connor had nothing on his mind but this. And Hank could not even blame him. Hell, even Hank was worried by that guy though he acted like he was not. For Connor’s sake. That boy was a bag of nerves these days. Without really having those in the first place.

Hank was fond of you as well and could not bear the thought of someone making you miserable like that.  
And as much as he was one for bending the rules to his needs, Captain Fowler had warned him time and time again to misuse his position and friendship with him and mistake it for acceptance of his sometimes unorthodox methods.

So Hank had to lay low as well, meaning he could not act the way he wanted and had to keep his partner and adoptive android calm when he was not even calm himself.

“I’ll… would you please blink again for fucks sake! You’re creeping me out”, Hank grumbled and went through stuff on his desk to appear busy when he saw Fowler eyeing them from his glass cubicle.  
“I’ll let you know when I think of something. It’s not that I don’t wanna help you. It’s more like a can’t without losing my badge for real this time.”

“So you say your badge is more important than keeping my girlfriend safe? That’s low Hank.”

Connor’s voice was calm and deep, judging him without even trying and Hank hated to think that what he just had said sounded exactly like that. Cause that was so far from the truth.

“You really think that of me? I thought you knew me better than that Connor.”

“Well, what am I supposed to think?! You were never one for following the rules and all of a sudden this is the only thing you think of?!”

Hank grew annoyed by the second. How could he tell Connor without actually telling him he was so close to losing his job for real because Fowler already caught him snooping through stuff unrelated to the case and getting more information on the phone number that was your ex’s?

Connor would throw even more of a fit and probably hunt that guy down himself if something would come out of it. The hunter was still in there somewhere in his partner and Hank was not sure he would ever wanna see that side of Connor again.

Shaking his head, Hank turned to his terminal, giving in to reason and biting his tongue before he said more. They had a case to work on.  
“Can we change the topic? We got work to do too. Fucking android…”

******

“You got murder in your eyes.”

Connor’s head snapped around to where you were standing at the door of the living room.

“Hm?”

“You look dangerous. Brooding. I don’t like that”, you clarified, walking over to the couch where he was currently situated. 

Connor’s features softened slightly at that, his eyes still hard though.  
You flopped down on his lap, snaking your arms around his neck and burying your face in his shoulder with a deep sigh. He pulled you closer to him.

“I’m angry. At this Bradley for putting you through this. At Hank for not taking me seriously and at me for not being able to do anything.”

You shushed him.

“You’re doing more than enough. You’re doing so much more than you’re actually aware of. Like just being here, calming me down. It saves me from going crazy.”

“I feel like I’m not doing a damn thing”, he whispered bitterly.

You kissed his jaw but he didn’t move a single bit, so drawn back into his own head.

“Con. No… That’s not true. You’re doing all you can. Even more than that. And I’m sure Hank has his reasons. He can’t let this interfere with the job. I’m sure-”

“Well I know what’s more important to me than the job”, Connor interrupted you and turned to face you. His eyes had gone somewhat back to the caring, warm brown you fell so madly in love with. 

You smiled at that. From what you heard from Hank there was a time when Connor had simply cared for “his fucking mission”. That was before the revolution happened. Even before Connor had warmed up to Hank and it felt like a lifetime ago he said.

“This storm will blow over. He hasn’t sent anything else after that. Maybe that was the last we got to see of him. You shouldn’t worry too much.”

“Why is it that you’re suddenly talking me down? I will always worry about your well-being. And you can’t stop me from that”, he chuckled.  
“I decide for myself now.”

You lay your head heavily on his shoulder again. Smiling. He was right, he did decide for himself now. So far he had done a great job. Maybe this threat was all Bradley was about. And really? What did you have to fear with this man by your side? With him it felt like you could take on the world.

******

You had agreed that Connor would not be so stubborn on finding Bradley anymore and you agreed to him taking you to work and picking you up after all. A win-win for the both of you.

And things seemed to quiet down again after that, Connor was working this case hard with Hank and made progress. He had even let go of the small grudge he held against his partner and saw the rational reasons behind it with a little distance and persuasion from your side.

One evening you were waiting at home for Connor to come back. It had been your day off but not his and so you had spent most of your day wishing for him to come home already, busying yourself with catching up on tv shows, cleaning up or doing the laundry. That had really been due for a long time.

And when the clock striked 7pm, you waited to hear the keys turn in the lock. He was off work at 6pm if nothing kept him longer, no new lead coming up or criminal on the loose. Right now they were going over a lot of paperwork without having to be out on the streets too much which meant he was kind of punctual. He was never later than 7pm without a short text or call. Never. When it was 7:15pm you tapped your hands on your knee, lowering the volume of the tv and caught yourself sneaking glance after glance at the door. 

By 7:30pm you turned your phone over in your hand, pondering if you should call him and out yourself as an anxious control freak. But you were genuinely worried that something had happened.  
Though technically that had been nonsense. Connor was perfectly capable of taking care of himself. You knew that. But that feeling in your gut told you there was something very wrong here.

***

Connor shut the terminal down on time as always these days. Even his super computer brain could only take so much processing in one day before he felt something equally to what humans would call tired.

“Is she waiting for you again? Can she not go an evening without her wonderboy”, Hank remarked and pushed himself from his desk with a smirk on his lips and a glint in his eyes.

“Is that your way of showing that you’ll miss me, Hank”, Connor retorted while shrugging on his jacket, grinning himself.  
He put the collar up when Hank mumbled something about “fucking lovebirds” and them being “disgusting” but Connor pretended not to hear and instead wished him a good evening.

“Night, kid. Give her my best, will ya? Haven’t seen you two in a while.”

Connor thought he detected some kind of sadness in Hank’s words. Hidden under 10 layers of gruff and rough of course.

“We could have dinner together sometime next week if you’d like? I’ll talk to (Y/N) and see if she’s up for it. These past few weeks have been hard on her.”

Hank nodded with a knowing look.

“Can imagine.”

“But maybe it would take her mind off things. I’ll let you know in the morning. Good night Hank.”

And then he was gone and through the turnstile of the bullpen to make his way through the still busy entrance of the precinct. He had a train to catch at the subway.  
With a smile he stepped outside and took the shortcut.  
That smalltalk with Hank would make it harder to be there on time but not impossible for the most advanced prototype.

That shortcut led him through a few quiet alleys, away from the main streets and the traffic of rush hour. That was why he didn’t need those fancy audio units to hear the footsteps echoing behind him.  
Nobody would use this route, he was sure of that. Unless… he was being followed.

Connor shook that thought off and picked up his pace to verify. 

“Shit”, he cursed softly as the footsteps behind him mimicked his actions.  
He preconstructed the fastest way out of this labyrinth and, while nervously checking the time on his HUD, stumbled over a trash bag on the floor. He reprimanded himself for being so skittish.  
It was true that panic and Connor never went well together. And no matter how strong he acted for your sake, how much he was your solid rock in a stormy sea... On the inside Connor was still as unsure as ever. Maybe even more after what he had been through in the past year. And he hated himself for it.

Connor wanted so much to be there for you and help you through this rough patch. Were he human he would have been a shaking mess by now.  
He was so wrapped up in his mind again that he sucked in a surprised breath when someone grabbed the back of his jacket and spun him around so his back hit the house’s brick wall behind him accompanied by a quiet “oof”.

A man in his thirties stared at him, a bit taller than Connor and also broader, blond and with a five o’clock shadow on his chin. Big hands on his shoulders pinned Connor to the spot, a mocking expression hidden under what most people would call handsome features.

“Not again”, was all that Connor thought at that moment though, fear creeping like ice water through his wiring. He let his scan run over that man, that seemed somehow familiar.  
Yes. That was the man that had shoulder checked him a few days earlier at the precinct.  
Sometimes his perfect memory was a gift. And oftentimes not. 

Connor wanted to free himself, thinking how it would be so easy to just render him unconscious and run. But he couldn't.  
Just like last time Connor couldn't bring himself to lay a hand on another human. No matter if it meant that he was going to be the punching bag once more. Or him having to get patched up again. He still feared that something inside him would snap if he fell into old habits like that. Amanda and her last attempt of hacking him were still in the back of his memory like a dark warning.

The scan came up with a name and Connor’s eyes widened in shock.  
“Bradley?”

“Oh”, the man grinned dangerously, “you really are a bright guy aren’t you?”

Gulping hard, Connor wanted to look away but was frozen in place. This was the man you had been so terrified of. The man that had made your life a miserable hell years ago and was back to do it again. He shouldn’t have listened to Hank or rules or Captain Fowler and just kept looking for this man. He was almost certain he would not have been in this predicament if he had been brave enough to go against them and take care of the matter.

“So this is what a fancy-ass android looks like from up close. Huh. You look like I could crush you with my pinky, scrawny-ass bitch.”

Connor detected small traces of alcohol on his breath. He probably had given himself some liquid courage before stalking him. How long had he been watched and had not noticed?

“Saw you getting real friendly with my (Y/N). How did you get her to agree to this?”

Bradley had put his forearm over Connor’s throat. Trying to choke him. An android.  
Connor wanted to laugh about the silliness of it to keep from getting more anxious by the second. Give him points for effort maybe?

“Answer me, asshole”, Bradley demanded again, “or do you think you’re something better than me? Us? Taking our women and jobs, acting like us, playing home with people you shouldn’t even look in the eye!”

He took hold of Connor’s lapels and slammed him into the wall once more for good measure, bringing him to eye level.

“You fucking her”, he huffed bitterly, “of course you are, you dirty piece of shit! Does she like it? That silicone substitute? And you think it’s true love right? Well guess what, she’s just using you as an expensive toy. Cause that’s all you are. A living doll with a dick. Nothing more.”

Connor remained still, wanting to shrink back against the bricks, trying to be quiet and neutral. Maybe this time it would help. Inebriated people were hard to judge, his precontructions vague. He never knew what to expect.

“You’re just a fucking machine made of plastic and metal. Even if you dress like a person. Talk and walk like a person.. you will never be one of us. Never be accepted.”

Bradley’s angry shouts changed into low, dangerous growls, too close to Connor’s face for comfort.

“You’ll never be enough for her. I know her better than you ever will. You think you could ever give her what she wants? Live a long and happy life with her? You weren’t made for that. She’ll grow old and you’ll be still here with that weird-ass face. I don’t know what she sees in you other than a quick romp to make me jealous. To win me back. A tool”  
Connor gulped hard. He hadn’t expected such deep, if not all of them correct, thoughts from this man but he hated to admit that he thought about those exact same things. A future with you and how it would look. In 10, 20 or 30 years. Those were some of his biggest fears, a dive into the unknown. Connor hated to be left in the dark about things. Something he had yet to learn.

Bradley’s breath tickled Connor’s face, their eyes meeting for a staring match. Connor knew he shouldn’t take any of this seriously but couldn’t help not to when he was being called out like that.

“No matter how hard you try… How much you wish for it. You will never be a human. Fucking prick. Your blood will always be blue.”

It was mere whisper but those words had already wormed their way through Connor’s audio units into his hard drive to remember them perfectly. Never be a human.

The sucker punch to his gut came out of the blue for the stunned android and he doubled over, legs barely supporting him as Bradley let go of him.

“Mark my words. She’ll drop you like a hot brick at the next best opportunity. And you’ll just be a sad little toy again, wishing you had burned with the others before all of this started.”

Bradley towered over him. Connor lifted only his head as Bradley spit right next to his feet, barely missing his shoes and made to leave, whistling a tune.

That was the moment when Connor dared to straighten up, watching after him.  
He turned around once more with a way to chipper “tell her I said ‘hi’ will ya? And that I’ll look after her should anything happen to you. Ha!”

Connor glared, still clutching his stomach though it didn’t hurt like the time Gavin jabbed him full force in the thirium pump regulator. Watched until the figure disappeared into the night of Detroit. And let out a shaky sob.  
He just wanted to go home.


	25. Chapter 25

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Connor deals with the after effects of the encounter with your ex and comes to a conclusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fem!Reader. Not beta’d again, any spelling errors are totally mine.

You had given in and called him. Called him many times and not one time did he answer. And you had been pacing. Pacing so much you thought you must have created a new path in the wooden floors of your living room.   
Talking yourself down that he was probably on the job still, maybe a stake-out. Maybe in the middle of an interrogation so that he couldn’t get in contact with you. It happened. Could happen. Right?

When finally around 9pm the door opened and in came Connor, you weren’t sure if you were more relieved or worried. He looked tousled, clothes ruffled, hair out of place.

“Connor! Thank god!”

You settled on the former for now and rushed up to greet him but the look on his face was too gloomy for that relief to last long enough. He shrugged out of his jacket and placed a quick but nervous peck on your lips.

“What happened?”

“Hm? What-? Oh I, eh, ran into someone. It’s okay.”

Your face went through several expressions in the matter of a few seconds. Did Connor really think he could hide things from you? You could read him like an open book by now. Points for trying though.

“Uh huh”, was all you said in a tone that demanded a better explanation, better yet the whole truth. 

You pulled him down for a real kiss and settled your hands on his chest.

“And now you give me the whole story. Looking at you I don’t believe you for a second.”

Connor let out an exasperated sigh as he walked a few steps into the living room, trying to get away from the situation, leaving you staring after him and wondering. He was rubbing his face in such a human manner, massaging his temple, the spot where his LED was spinning yellow right now.

“I-”

He stopped again, regarding you with pleading eyes and you followed him, taking one of his hands in both of yours, a supportive smile on your lips that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“I got ambushed today, okay?”

You sucked in a breath, flashbacks of the last time that had happened ever so present in your mind and saw the shadow appearing on his face.

“No! Oh god, Connor are you okay? Is everything alright? Do you need a technician to check-”

“I assure you I’m fine. Except for being a little dirty”, he looked down at himself to avoid your gaze, “nothing happened.”

“Like hell you are.”

You pulled him into a tight hug, as if that would undo whatever happened and he slung his arms around you.

“That’s how nothing looks to you?”

You sniffled a bit, trying hard not to cry. Trying hard to not break down like a frightened little girl because you weren’t one anymore. Didn’t want to be one anymore.

“Nothing a shower won’t undo. Now stop worrying for little old me.”

He kissed the top of your head, not that it eased your racing thoughts much. It was easy to say that nothing happened and to forget about it but you felt like suffering a mild heart attack just thinking about the ‘what if’.   
But you also knew Connor and it was no use to pressure him into talking. He would come around eventually. Otherwise you’d spook him even more.

“You’ve got a clear visual of the bastards though, right”, you pointed at your eyes and Connor nodded.

“Yes. It was just one though. We should be able to find him soon and be done with this incident. And other things.”

His gaze hardened and he tensed up. Something was fishy, you couldn’t shake the feeling that he was still hiding something major this time. He wasn’t as cunning as he thought. Not around you.

“And other things?”

“Yes. But that’s not a talk for now. Look… I really, really wanna shower and get that filth off of me.“

He messed up and he knew it. The second those three words had left his mouth he knew you’d catch on and that was something he had tried to avoid.

“Con… what aren’t you telling me?”

He looked to the floor in shame, contemplating before he took both your hands, reassuringly squeezing them.

“I- Okay. But please don’t freak out.”

You huffed.

“Then don’t say ‘don’t freak out’ cause there’s a 120% chance that this makes me freak out even more.”

Connor was chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously, LED a dark yellow, spinning fast.

“I knew the guy. Well not _knew_ him, but-”, he sighed and a heavy conclusion settled in your gut like a big ice block. This couldn’t be what he meant.

“It was… him.”

You jerked away from Connor, looking up at him with wide eyes, like you just saw a ghost. He didn’t even have to speak out his name.

“No-”

Connor held his hands at the height of his hips, trying to calm you by speaking slow and reassuring, making a step towards you.

“I know you’re scared, love. I know, but we have him now, I have his infos, I scanned him. Everything is going to be okay.”

When he touched your shoulder you shrugged him off again in a heartbeat. 

“Don’t go all understanding counselor on me now”, you spat out, lips trembling. You hadn’t sounded as mean as you wanted to with your wavering voice.

“This… this is too real. I can’t- Connor he HARMED you! How can you be so calm?!”

Connor didn’t say anything, just held your gaze, steady but mixed with insecurity he tried to conceal. And failed.

“I’ve had my share of freaking out before I got here if you must know.”

“If I must-”

On top of being scared that this douchebag had terrorized you with his message and now almost beat up your new boyfriend, said boyfriend was acting like an asshole himself. Or so you thought. His words were just chosen poorly and you were on the brink of hyperventilating. Bad timing really.

“I mustn’t know anything Connor! If you don’t want to tell me the stuff that’s going on with you, fine! Your choice! You don’t need to trust me for this. Go on and deal with it on your own like you have before! But what are we even doing here then if we’re not on the same team?!”

Connor was shocked to say the least, an outburst of that kind was new to him. You’ve never attacked him verbally like this, not even when you had an argument and he knew something snapped the moment he had told you that Bradley had come so close to him. That he touched someone so dear to you. 

You weren’t really angry at Connor but at your ex for daring to step into your life like that again. And scared. You were so scared.  
This explosive mix was now directed towards the only person around, even if they didn’t deserve it and that happened to be Connor.

The angry tears that had started forming throughout the rant had turned into desperate ones and soon you just felt petty and sorry for yelling at your boyfriend who had done nothing but stand there, looking at you with big, sad eyes. After he got attacked by the person who made you feel like this in the first place.

You had made this all about yourself. Just because Connor didn’t feel physical pain, it didn’t mean that he wasn’t hurting. But you didn’t see, being wrapped up and trapped in your head and the past, you ignored his feelings and made it all about yourself.  
Why Connor hadn’t left yet was a mystery to you.

Instead you were pulled into a solid chest yet again and this time you didn’t resist. This time you fisted the material of his wrinkled shirt and clung to him, letting the tears fall until your throat was dry and your head ached. 

“I’m so-”, you hiccupped, “so sorry, I didn’t mean-”

Connor hushed you, started rocking you and breathed into your hair, grounding you. You didn’t deserve that guy. You really, really didn’t. 

“I know”, he whispered, “just calm down. This time, I’ll take care of it myself. No matter what.”

“P-promise me you’ll be careful? I c-can’t… not again.”

“Yes. I promise you.”

***

Connor had told Hank all about it the next morning and Hank almost broke his tablet in a fit of silent rage.   
But Connor had assured him that the report was already filled out and a team would be sent to bring him in. 

“People sure love to beat you up, huh kid”, Hank said after his first anger had subsided and he had made sure Connor was okay.

“Probably my face”, Connor answered dryly but he unconsciously touched the spinning light on his temple.  
“Or the fact that androids still are a sore spot for many people.”

“You shouldn’t care about those ‘many people’.”

“I- I don’t-”

“Yeah you do. You do care. And normally I’d say that’s a good thing. But this time: do not care. Just care about what the one person thinks of you. That’s all that really matters at the end of the day.”

Connor contemplated that for a moment, cracking a small smile.

“This is your life now. You’re not anyone’s punching bag anymore so fight them back. Next time I wanna hear that you threw a punch again. Just not the first, that doesn’t look too good on your record.”

“Don’t worry. I don’t want to follow your footsteps, Hank.”

Hank huffed but let it slide at seeing Connor smirking, his mouth curling up at one side too.

“I told you to throw hands, not insult me. And now let’s get outta here. I’m starving.”

WhenHank stood up he patted his stomach for good measure and shrugging on his jacket. He was halfway through the bullpen when Connor finally followed, so wrapped up in his thoughts and the very good advice Hank had just droppd on him. People gave him way too little credits for that most times.   
But Hank was right. It was his life and his choice who he allowed to interfere with his happiness and nobody else's. 

And for the first time in a long time, Connor knew exactly what to do.


End file.
